Scandal’s 6th season just wrapped up a few days ago, and it’s just been announced that the show will end at Season 7 next year. I mean, saying that it’s bittersweet is an understatement…
Who’s going to give me all kinds of fashion goals and awaken my swagger onThursday nights again? And how can I ever get over the Olivia-President Fitzgerald romance being cut short? How am I supposed to handle all this “getting ready to say goodbye” stuff? I can barely make it through the airport, any airport, without crying with strangers about other strangers leaving them, as everyone’s looking at me wondering why this Black woman is hugging it out with the Polish family she’s never seen until two minutes ago…But I digress…
This is deeper than just spiritually parting ways with the confusing, sweet evil of Poppa Pope, while holding dear Mama’s Pope words in the season finale that so many Black women can identify with:
No, this is like hanging around with your girl crush for six whole TV seasons, and seeing yourself, for once, in a light you’re not often allowed to thrive in. It’s staring at your alter ego in her fierce face, as you rise in power inside all the while mumbling powerful affirmations like “It’s handled” of “No one takes Olivia Pope”.
But you already knew the revolution Olivia Pope has created for Black women everywhere. What you may not have suspected is how much it was (and still is) needed.
As a Black working woman in a world that may disqualify me from the get-go, sometimes, many times, all I need to handle the fear, the barriers, the opposition is an Olivia. Not as a fictional TV character inspired by a somewhat distant reality, but as a symbol of what CAN be.
When you can’t see in the eye of your mind what’s possible, you’re tempted to feed in to the negative rhetoric of society. To see yourself as the “angry Black woman”, the catty Black woman on reality TV, or the powerless Black woman and single mom on welfare. Because that’s what society and the media feed us, right?
But then… enter Black women like Olivia Pope, written into life by Black women like Shonda Rhimes, as Black women like you and I sit at the edge of our own stories and face all of our power. Not just the power to make it, to survive, to carry everyone on our shoulders, but the power to be at the top of our games, to be outrageously, ridiculously successful, to write the rules, our own rules, and never once apologize for it.
You know how they say “you’re pretty for a Black girl”, or “you did well for yourself for a Black women”? And everyone nods and pretends not to notice the invisible wall there…Well, Olivia handled that wall, she crushed it and then came back to show us what that looks like when Black women can rise to such outrageous heights History has to rewrite its own narrative…
This is not about beating the odds anymore. It’s about smashing them, grinding them to a pulp, and molding them like Play-doh into the most fabulous staircase to success. Bam!
“How does it feel to be the most powerful person in the world?” Cyrus asked Olivia in the last episode of Season 6. Notice he said “the most powerful person”, not the “most powerful woman”. And for once, it’s a woman, a Black woman, who has all that power, as she sits on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial with a bottle of red wine and the outrageous sparkle of victory in her eyes…
So yes, I’m already mourning the end of “Scandal” and my Thursday night powerful pow-wows with my girl crush over some red wine and crazy tweets….So I’m preparing to do what we do when we have one last summer with the bestie, one last season with the girl crush, we get the wine ready and keep the best for last….
What about you? What are your thoughts on Scandal ending?
Professional women are overworked in so many ways: inour careers, families, volunteer work, and personal relationships. Let’s face it, even when it comes to our personal grooming and fitness needs, we’re not dialing back either. By the time we are ready to go on vacation, we are so overdue it’s not even funny. So much so that many times we end up sabotaging our own time to relax and unwind.
Here are a few reasons why your highly professional self may just be putting a damper on your vacation (and how you can stop and enjoy the time off too):
We like control!
It’s no secret that as peofessional women, we like to both our control professional and personal lives. So intuitively, even on vacation, we tell a cab driver what route to take, explain to a salesperson how they should improve their system, or silently judge the event planner at a function. We never really let go which is also the reason for our success.
All throughout vacation, we continue to question, suggest, even require proof. For instance, the route from Buenos Aires, Argentina to some Andean cities we were taking some tourist clients to, requires two back to back flights and makes for a very long day.
One of our clients, a female executive, demanded to know why we were not driving instead. According to her, there was a clearly marked road to our destination. The road, as it turned out, waded through 18,000 ft mountains and had a terrible safety record. It would have taken us 12 hours to make it through.
This is why knowledgeable, efficient tour guide is hired. He/she will be briefed on every detail of the trip, and be aware ofconstruction, strikes, demonstrations, road safety, scenery, access to good bathrooms and safe restaurants. But it’s hard for professional women to trust in someone else’s expertise…
Letting go of the office is hard!
If you get more excited because of the good hotel wifi, rather than the view, you are not on vacation. A New Yorker cartoon of a woman describing her trip goes like this:
Friend: “How was your trip?”
Woman: “The wifi in the Florence hotel was to die for. ”
Truth is, too many women cannot separate personal from professional time. Obviously, there are professional situations that may require your attention even when on vacation.
If you must work though, here is what experts suggest: have a specific time each day when you look at and answer office emails. Otherwise turn off your phone. Make sure the office knows your schedule and ask staff to put the issue in the subject line of an email. Then you can prioritize. Oh, and start from the assumption that wifi will not be great, then you will not get frustrated.
A vacation is not a business plan.
There is an itinerary on a group tour; it is legally the contract with your tour operator. However, flexibility will guarantee a more meaningful and efficient experience. Tours that deviate for a spontaneous Mexican wedding parade or visit to an Indian village might delay your schedule, but will make for a better trip.
Conversely a drive that takes eight hours rather than three because a rock fell in Morocco and closed the road must be tolerated as well. You can only plan so much…
Your executive status is gone.
No one knows you are the EVP of Whatever in the middle of the Andes, so you may want to re-consider some of your communication techniques. English, as used in other countries, can be misleading. Example: in many South American cultures, people do not like to say no. Your request for something might appear to be a yes, but is actually a no or even an avoidance.
Many vacationers may not aware of how difficult life is in many countries. Your request to buy spices, might go unfulfilled. The guide might have had to change 11 details for the next day, deal with a dysfunctional hotel computer, etc…
Just some things to keep in mind…
Finally don’t leave home exhausted.
Plan ahead for the trip and get your staff to cooperate. Prepare a list before you go. Take an extra day at the beginning or end of your trip to regroup at the destination.
Don’t hesitate to use the hotel spa to relax and get over the jet lag, take your time to change your money, study your maps, reorganize luggage and enjoy your vacation for real.
Bonus Notes:
While I’m not a user of most travel apps as some of the require too much time to learn, here are some simple apps to put on your smart phone:
WhatsApp is an encrypted wifi based text/phone system allowing you to communicate with others on wi-fi.
A folder app: there are many free ones like Evernote (also has a receipts app). I use iBooks to copy documents, boarding passes and the photo and visa pages of my passport.
A VPN line if you are going, like our group did before, to places like Iran, China or other areas known for insecure wi-fi.
Screen shots of anything you might find useful without wifi: a map of the hotel area, a list ofrestaurants etc.
Bio:
Phyllis Stoller is a former international banker and has led The Women’s Travel Group company since 1992. She often speaks at professional women’s events and travel shows.
For more travel tips from The Women’s Travel Group, a tour operator for smart small group tours for women, go to www.thewomenstravelgroup.com. You can also find it on Facebook: www.facebook.com.Toursforwomen/ and on their Blog at www.thewomenstravelgroup.wordpress.com. Phyllis can be reached at phyllis@thewomenstravelgroup.com.
Summers can be challenging for working moms. The kids are out of school, the weather’s nice, and everything around is not exactly conducive to being stuck in the office all day long. I mean, let’s be real…
For many, if not most, the solution is to ask for a flexible schedule in the summer. Whether’s it’s working from home one (or a few) days aweek, compressing your hours into four (4) days instead of five (5), or shifting your schedule in a way that aligns with your family and personal life, being more flexible schedule-wise in the summer is always a plus.
Think about it: a flex schedule can not only make your life much easier in the summer, especially when it comes to picking up your kids early from camp (or just keep them entertained), or being able to enjoy more summer activities with your family. But it can also get you out of what I call that “summer office funk“, you know, when your productivity dips below sea level because your mind (and your body) just ain’t trying to be there…
But I know what you’re thinking…You may have thought about it before, and just vaguely dismissed it because you thought it wouldn’t be possible. Or that it wouldn’t really work for you or the type of work you’re doing…Well, think again…
While there definitely are instances (and jobs) where a flex schedule is not welcome or encouraged, or even practical at all, there are times when you can argue your flex schedule case and…win! I was in such a case once, and a fellow corporate sister at the time encouraged me to do the ask. I did, and it worked! So from me to you, here are a few steps you can take to ask to flex your schedule this summer:
Identify Your Schedule Priorities
Start by pinpointing your schedule priorities. What’s most important to you when it comes to your schedule? What schedule adjustments would make your life more stress-free and easier to manage?
Whether it’s fitting in some workout time, or even just saving some space in your schedule to get that side hustle off the ground, identifying your schedule priorities is key!
After my daughter was born in the summer a few years back, it was important for me to have Fridays as work-from-home days to spend more time with her. Besides, being able to do laundry while on conference calls also helps!
Find out and Understand What’s Appropriate to Ask for
After you’ve identified what your scheduling priorities are, now let’s consider your company culture. Understanding the various types of flexibility allowed by your workplace is paramount to making the right ask.
Start with your employee handbook in case there are some ground rules you need to know about. You can also ask around to other working moms (and dads) who may have used or are still using flextime in the summer. The point is to check what’s practicable and what’s not in your specific professional environment.
For me, it was a matter of asking around after my daughter was born. I got great feedback from the other working moms, which allowed me to present a better case for my own flex schedule. Which brings me to…
Present Your Case Smartly
The smarter you are about how you present your case when asking for flextime in the summer (or anytime really), the better! Remember that you must be able to demonstrate that a more flexible arrangement will not impede your productivity, and may even make you more productive…
So present your case in a way that shows the positives a flex schedule would have on your work first. You can cite reasons such as increased work-life balance, or the fact that you’d be available at any time of the workday….
Also consider offering a couple of flex schedule alternatives instead of just one. This way, you’re giving more choice to your employer while showing that you’re willing to be flexible. No pun intended…
Try It First
Set up a trial period with your employer to demonstrate that this new schedule will not reflect poorly on your performance. Set some goals with your manager, and work to reach them during this trial period.
The point is to demonstrate to your employer that you’re trustworthy, and are able to maintain your performance while on an adjusted schedule.
Don’t Drop the Communication
One of the most important aspects of striving on a flex schedule is maintaining the communication. After all, you’re not there in the office to communicate with your boss or team directly.
So make sure to keep your manager and team abreast of your progress. Also keep your involvement up via email and phone discussions. This is not a case of “far from the eyes, far from the mind”…
What’s your take on asking for flex time in the summer?
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Welcome to our weekend chat feature! Got something you want to chat about? Post it in the comments below…
It’s finally sandals time! I love these Sam Edelman Yaro Sandals from Anthropologie. They’re perfect to throw on on the week-end with just about anything, from a cool summer dress to flattering shorts and even your fave jeans…
It also comes in other colors that I like and is perfect for dressier occasions. And how about this Coach Paige jeweled number in a feminine pink?
