by Solange Lopes | Feb 10, 2017 | Career
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
- In honor of Black History Month, The Corporate Sister’s (aka yours truly) is hosting a Race & Work Series. This week, I’m discussing talking about race at work;
- Ellevate Network tells you when it’s ok to turn down the job you thought you’ve always wanted;
- If you’ve seen the movie “Hidden Figures“, Black Enterprise writes about this modern day “hidden figure”;
- Have you read Sallie Krawcheck’s “Own It: The Power of Women at Work“? If so, Ellevate Network invites you to share how you “own it” and win a lunch with Sallie Krawchek;
- Are you bored at work but not quite ready to quit? The Muse lists 4 career-changing things to try first;
- Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and Black Enterprise is tipping you off on how not overspend;
- Speaking of Valentine’s Day, the Glassdoor blog lists the do’s and dont’s of office romances;
- Fortune had me raising interesting questions as it confirms a college degree doesn’t get you far if you’re Black;
- iPhone aficionadas (and dudes) alert! Forbes reveals iPhone8 leaks uncover some pretty cool (and expensive) Apple secrets (Shhhh);
- Entrepreneur confirms that despite all the existing bias, female entrepreneurs are a force to be reckoned with (*dusting shoulders off here);
- Baking for V-Day? Food52 lists 14 impressive (but not hard!) desserts to try;
- It’s snow boot weather in the Northeast. Check out my selection of cute and practical snow boots (because who wants to look like whoddunitandwhy).
Check out my weekly #workinggirlchat Twitter Chats on Wednesdays at 8pmEST!
Cheers to the week-end!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 9, 2017 | Career
Bogs Watercolor Waterproof Snow Boots – Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Listen, there’s nothing cute about painfully treading your way through the snow with weather-inappropriate shoes, even especially when they’re super cute…But that’s not a reason to walk around like whodunnitandwhy just because New England’s weather decided to go crazy and jump from spring-like 60 degrees to sub-zero/snow storm/end of the world temperatures… So for all the sisters out there still holding on to their sense of fashion in the midst of crazy weather, here are my selections for practical AND cute snow boots:
For the Fashionista-In-Chief…
The Love Moschino Boot:
Love Moschino Ankle Snow boot – Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Now these are not your traditional snow boots… Some may even argue they’re a bit on the loud side. But these LOVE Moschino ankle snow boots will make your day, in addition to protecting your toes against frostbite. I personally love the cutesy pink color, comfortable round toe, and general cool look. They’re $174 at Zappos.
Because You Can’t Wait for Spring…
The Bogs Watercolor Waterproof Snow Boot
Bogs Watercolor Waterproof Snow Boots – Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Spring ain’t coming’ any time soon, but while we’re hoping and dreaming, let’s do it in style. Like with these Bogs “Watercolor” waterproof snow boots! Loving the “watercolor” pattern, plus the cool little handles on each side. And did I mention its moisture-management technology helps keep your feet dry and smelling good, you know, so you don’t kill half the planet when you take them off…They’re $129.95 at Nordstrom.
For the Utilitarian Gal:
The Drift Snow Boots
‘ End Drift Snow Boots – Photo credit: shopstyle.com
For the utilitarian gaol who wants to cover her toes (and behind) when the snow starts falling, these Lands’ End Drift boots are a sure bet. I love the full functionality of these boots, as well as the pretty faux fur collar. They’re on sale for $35.00 at Lands’ End.
Seen a piece that you’d like us to feature? Email me at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 9, 2017 | Career
I have a confession: I sleep with my laptop…Right there, on my bedside, with the green light winking at me…I may even, sometimes, rest the palm of my hand on it to make sure it’s still right there in the wee hours of morning, when I jump out of bed to write…It’s not an obsession, it’s just a treacherous relationship, a “menage a trois” with two people and an inanimate object representing what some of us know all too well: the dilemma between what you love to do, who you love to love, and this knee-deep need to realize all of who you were created to be right in the middle…
It’s a dilemma that affects more women than we may think. You know, the ones who seem to have it all together, thrive on their Google calendars, cross off their to-do lists, and take their kids to piano (somewhat) on time. Those who silently wake up in the middle of the night to jot down blog post ideas, send a quickie email, or longingly hold on to their smartphones before reluctantly putting it down for the night. While many are still searching for what sets their souls on fire, these women have found IT. They’re also cheating on everyone else with IT…
So what do you do when you love what you do and you love who you have, and there aren’t enough hours in the day to satisfy both? When you may have to justify working so many hours at the expense of your couple? When some may call you selfish because you’re putting the passion stuff before the practical stuff…When you bargain with the dust in your house so you can have a few more hours to work on a project, rather than cleaning/doing laundry/cooking food? Is the verdict always guilty for women who cheat on their marriage with their work/passion/ambition?
Newsflash: we’re all cheating on our significant other (SO)/laundry/dust/elaborate meals with our work/passion/careers/interests. Because every time you’re scoring a slam dunk in your career or business, you’re also not there to catch every waking moment with your hubby and kids. And when you’re there snuggled under the covers with your family on Friday Family Movie Night, you’re not writing that epic novel, or closing that crazy awesome deal. As Shonda Rhimes says it so well:
So unless you can multiply your super-productive self or give up on sleep altogether, here are some ways to cheat well, at least when it comes to love and your career/work/passion:
Stop thinking you can do it all…at the same time!
If anyone tells me about work-life balance one mo’ again, I’m going to lose my fro’! You balance things when you can offset their value against each other. Except there will always be those moments in your life when it’s all about your family. And those moments when you’ll be intoxicated with work. And some moments when it seems you can handle both, until the scale starts tipping on one side or the other again…And it’s ok…
As long as you make peace with the fact that you can do it all, have it all, at different moments of your life, and that when you reach those mountains, you’ll enjoy the view instead of looking at what you’re missing out, you’ll be ok…Plus or minus some hazelnut chocolate..
Be there, just be there!
There’s a reason you can’t hug anyone and type a month-end report at the same time. Multi-tasking is a disease, and it will eat away at your edges. So when you’re out on a dinner date, be there, I mean, really be there! Shut off the phone, refrain from talking about work, and drink wine/eat dessert/enjoy the company!
That way when you’re back in a face-to-face with that beloved laptop of yours, you can give it your full, dedicated attention too…minus the wine and dessert…
Stop it with the guilt already.
Cut the crap guilt already! Being passionate about your work will not make you end up like the old cat lady (at least she had her cats). And you don’t have to choose between being a devoted partner and having a fulfilling career, either.
Guilt is like that piece of bread you can’t eat, yet doesn’t let you enjoy your vegetables (dipped in full-fat blue cheese dressing) either. Don’t do it! Just make sure to honor your relationship and your career when you’re there for either…It’s called clean conscience cheating!
Everyone else will be ok, really!
At the risk of bursting your bubble, both your career and partner will be ok if you don’t make it to Senior Partner, or make the perfect dinner for Valentine’s Day. There will be other Senior Partners, you will make it somewhere else, and no one will leave a disclosure on their will about the October month-end report not getting done. Besides, there are those places called restaurants opened on Valentine’s Day.
The only one you will be letting down is you, and that poor French coq-au-vin you’ll destroy…
Do what you want to do (sometimes)
I get it, we have to be practical. You must feed your kids and come home to your husband at least once a week. But in the midst of all the practical stuff to do, make some time to do what you want to do. If that’s working on that epic novel, then situate hubby down and give him (considerate) notice that you will be cheating on him with a fantastic story that may very well make you the next J. K. Rowling.
And if you must, draft that resignation letter to let your boss know you may be taking an indefinite amount of time off to cheat on your career with the love of your life somewhere between Paris and Morocco…
After all, it’s your life!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 8, 2017 | Career |
What would you do even if you weren’t paid for it?
That’s the question most career or life coaches will ask you when trying to determine your passions and interests. Pretty generic, right? I mean, I could try on designer shoes all day until my feet beg for mercy, if you ask me…
But really, even as we make our way through this whole “adulting” process, it becomes clear that taking the love out of the career equation does’t exactly work long-term…
Yes, you can drag yourself through a soul-sucking job for decades, make a decent (or outrageously good) living in the process, and still feel like you’re empty inside…Or you can refuse to live in utter emptiness, stop and search for meaning in your life and career, most times initially at the expense of a nice paycheck and great benefits…
As you learn to grow up and do the “adulting” thing (because really, we’re all still growing up), you realize that it’s no longer just about going through the motions, earning a paycheck and paying the bills. You start looking at the world around you, and wondering how much of an impact your work really has. You start looking for your own pulse in a world that’s going by way too fast…
Yes, in relative terms, money matters. However, it’s been proven that over the long haul, no matter how many Louboutins or luxury cars you may have parked in your closet or garage, the benjamins really don’t buy you happiness.But you knew that, right? Actually, most of us know it, we just happen to forget it along the way as we get buried under bills and the oh so not-outdated keeping up the Joneses tradition (now you can thank social media for fueling the Joneses’ competition)…
But if you had to choose between living in a society with higher incomes, vs. living in one with significantly lower wages, which side would you pick? I mean, just try driving 10 minutes out of a low-income neighborhood into a higher-income one, and you may breathe better air, your kids may do better in school, and you may just be able to catch a quiet nap…But does all of that matter if you come home every night with your soul crushed in 1,000 pieces?
This is where you may have to supplement money considerations with some life-honoring, soul-soothing questions that can make the difference between living a life of meaning and living a life of means:
How much moral satisfaction do you get from your work?
One of the most crucial factors of job satisfaction is how much moral satisfaction you get from it. I mean, how do you feel about your employer’s or your own business’ mission? Is it helping people or crushing lives to make money?
Imagine you were working for a tobacco company incentivizing people to smoke more: would your employer’s mission feel as good as working for the World Health Organization? Think about that…
Are the work conditions aligned with your lifestyle and quest for fulfillment?
Yes, if we could all work when and where we wanted, we would, wouldn’t we? But the reality’s slightly different…
However, this doesn’t mean that in our race to collect the mighty dollar we don’t have to also make room for, well, life… As in being able to pick up your kids from school as opposed to leaving them on the sidewalk while you finish that month-end report. Or actually making it to your annual doctor check-in at the risk of missing that umpteenth status meeting…
If your work conditions/schedule/load is taking the life out of your lifestyle, it may be costing you more than you initially bargained for. Which in effect cancels out the positive monetary impact, thus actually granting you an automatic pay decrease…Hmmm….
Have you developed an expertise in what you do?
The utmost level of satisfaction in your work is gained through becoming an expert in your field. There’s something about learning more about what you love doing, and improving your results and performance that leaves you fulfilled…
And it matters, because we’re always progressing, evolving and ever changing. Because the more we learn, the more we can teach…And that can make a world of difference between a job that pays the bills and a career that uplifts your soul…
Do you think doing what you love matters? Share your insights.
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 5, 2017 | Career
This post is part of a Race & Work series on The Corporate Sister blog in honor of Black History Month.
You know the rules, right? “Whatever you do, don’t talk about race or politics at work”!
It doesn’t matter that it may be all over your TV and smartphone screens. Or that we may all be thinking about it as we look at each other in the middle of the meeting room…
YOU.JUST.DON’T.TALK.ABOUT.RACE.AT.WORK.
How do you avoid it entirely then? Well, for starters, you polish your color-blind lenses and put them on. Then you pretend that you can’t see anything remotely connected to race. Even when it’s blatantly in your face. Like when someone makes an insensitive comment about your “unprofessional” natural hair. Or when recent racially charged political events are met with the silence of some of your most trusted colleagues at work.
Race is the big elephant in the meeting room. The one sitting between you and everyone else, that no one really wants to acknowledge. It’s in the unsaid questions, the questioning stares and the politically correct conversations around the conference room table…
How do we talk about the colorful topic of race in the very often bland, colorless landscapes of Cubicle Land? How do we get somewhat comfortable enough to discuss the big R without crossing some invisible forbidden professional line? Or do we just pretend that the whole thing doesn’t exist and sing Kumbaya around the water cooler?
This is the thing though, there are no real practical “tips” to deal with race at work. This is not like “Interviewing 101” or “Office Politics 302”. It’s more complex than that. We’re talking about people ‘s experiences, life stories and most deeply ingrained sense of identity. Not your favorite Starbucks latte with whipped cream on top…
But if we were to set some general guideposts, you know, like those orange traffic cones that tell you where not to step in with your pretty stilettos if you want to keep your legs (and your stilettos), it would go something like this:
Please take your colorblind lenses off!
Ok, it may sound good to say: “ I don’t see color, it doesn’t matter to me if you’re black, white, purple or orange!” Except it’s not exactly the reality… If I turned from my deep shade of mahogany to a sweet peony pink overnight, you’d notice…
We all notice differences in the way we look, because we have eyes and that’s what people do! Distinguishing between my deep mahogany shade and the whipped cream on top of my Caramel Machiatto doesn’t make you a racist, it makes you as discerning as my 4-year old. And the kid can discern just about everything…
What complicates the whole race matter at work, is when anyone makes assumptions about someone else’s intellectual, physical, or emotional state because of their race. And if anything, pushing the colorblind ideology just tells the whole world we’re not comfortable with cultural differences… Which brings me to my point, please take off the colorblind lenses, and look at race in the face…
Racial Stereotypes Do Affect Your Career (Yes, Even the Good Ones!)
For one, racial stereotypes do exist. Secondly, they do affect your career, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, simply because they alter how you’re perceived at work…Now that’s just the reality…That doesn’t mean your work and sheer professionalism don’t count, but appearances are still appearances, and are very often outside of our control.
Even “good” stereotypes, like being a hard worker because you happen to be Asian-American, can affect the type of work and exposure you’re afford in the workplace. As a professional, you need to be aware of these stereotypes, and how they can affect you in the long run. Which also means you need to know your own strengths and weaknesses so you can position yourself better for the opportunities you deserve…
Before confrontation, think conversation first…
If someone’s discriminating against you on the basis of race, the first thing you may want to do is run to Human Resources to defend your rights…Except taking any race-related matter to HR will cause a backlash that may affect you negatively, whether it’s in the form of retaliation or even firing…
This is not to deter you from using the HR resources at your disposal to address race-related matters. But if we’re practical here, you may want to consider starting with a conversation first. Even if it’s challenging, discuss your concerns directly with the person discriminating against you. If the conversation doesn’t help, talk to their boss.
If all else fails, you can certainly take it to HR. However, consider taking more of a constructive, proactive stance by suggesting ways of lessening the damage, rather than insisting to have disciplinary action taken. As in asking for a rotation or transfer for instance…
Get Real About Diversity Training
What about diversity training, you may ask? Isn’t the whole point of sitting yet through another one of those trainings to diminish the effect of bias in companies, aka make Cubicle World a better, all-race-inclusive place? Yes, indeed.
Except diversity trainings seldom succeed in creating bias-free companies. They’re like diversity band-aids, they don’t really solve the problem but do a nice job at protecting companies from getting infected with potentially damaging lawsuits.
So while you should still take your required diversity training, please get realistic about what it can and cannot do…
How do you deal with race at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis
