by Solange Lopes | Jan 6, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
After we got married, hubby and I started a family tradition of talking about /writing down our goals at the start of every new year. As two consenting adults having recovered from excessive dessert consumption, we’d swap intentions for the next 365 days. Kinda like when we swapped vows, minus the white dress, the pricey venue, and that tight undergarment that threatened to choke me…
A few years and a few babies in, our intention-swapping process was met with little wondering eyes from the little people in our lives, who started asking us: “What’s a goal?” It was time to start including the little people in our family tradition…
But how do you explain the concept of goals to kids? How do you help kids set said goals too? Do they even have realistic dreams yet to nurture? And if they do, aren’t we running the risk to crush them under our rigid adult goals and intentions?
I mean, dear daughter wants to be a singer, and my little guy has his (stubborn) heart set on being a superhero. If we were back in my native Senegal, their sweet dreams would have been welcome with the rolling eyes and pursed lips of concerned parents. And following, the immediate admonition to quit dreaming and promptly start settling for a career in medicine or business. Or possibly finding a rich husband if you were female…
Back to my dear little people’s goals…I have some more thinking to do when it comes to the whole superhero thing…But for my future in-house Mariah Carey, while her goal is a very long-term one, it can help her to set benchmarks to attain it…Like little tiny steps she can accomplish every year to get there, or anywhere she sets her mind to really…
When we started realizing that we could actually let our kids safely express their dreams, and teach them to set benchmarks towards them while putting up with setbacks and roadblocks, the whole goal-setting process with kids became more of a fun adventure…
Here are seven imperfect but working principles every parent can use to help kids develop strong goals and start the new year (or new month/week/day) energized and confident (minus the occasional candy and sweet treats):
Ask Your Kids About their Goals/Dreams/Aspirations
The last time my mom was visiting from Senegal, we were discussing how little parents back home talk to their kids. And how little they know about their kids in the end…I mean, I still remember my friend (we’ll call her Aminata) telling her mom she wanted to skip out on college and become a writer instead…after they’ve put themselves in debt to send her to medical school. I let you image the amount of eye rolls and finger snapping coloring the rest of the conversation…
Start with getting used to asking your little ones about their dreams, goals and aspirations. Even if all you’ll hear about at first is superheroes and Shopkins…
Encourage your little people to have realistic goals.
Ok, so this part is a lot less pleasant than letting your son or daughter take you along La-La-Land on their dream adventures with Superman on the moon…But it’s also one of the most valuable lessons you may be teaching them…
Most times, kids come up with gigantic goals that are so far off reality you may have to take a deep breath. I mean, if dear daughter sings so out of tune the family cat runs and hides under her own litter box, it may be high time for a reality check. Like “baby, is this something you really want to do?”
But challenge them with just-out-of-reach goals.
As much as we may want our little people to have realistic goals, we also don’t want them to settle into Comfort Zone (or our basement) forever…If you don’t push them to challenge themselves, they may never leave their rooms…
That’s the great thing about setting goals that are attainable, but force them to reach. Goals that teach them to try. Goals that challenge them to push themselves.
Help them set specific goals.
A good goal is never so vague no one really knows what in the world you’re talking about. Like with the whole superhero thing, or being a star soccer player…
After allowing yourself to smile on the inside, motivate your little people to be more specific about their goals. Ask questions like: “What do you want to be a superhero?”, “How many goals do you want to score per game?”…
Brainstorm together to make these goals more specific, and turn it into a game to make it even more fun.
Do the Breakdown thing.
The next time dear daughter decides to create a worldwide line of beaded bracelets (hello entrepreneurial spirit), help her do the breakdown thing. Teach her to chop her goals off into small, manageable chunks. Like making a couple of bracelets that look like bracelets first. Then maybe find a client (or bribe Grandpa to buy them all)…
This way, they’ll know where to start, what to reach for, and the art of building a Beaded Bracelet Empire.
Map It Out.
Ok, I love mapping stuff out…There’s something about drawing little paths and checkpoints and goalposts that make me all warm inside…And doing it with my little ones as we set up goals at the beginning of the year multiplies the fun factor (plus the messes and graffiti everywhere)…
Help your little people build visual aids documenting their goals and the steps to reach them. Make it a fun exercise, and push them to check in on their goals every so often. That will help them in turn develop their own systems to set goals and crush them.
Turn It Into Family Fun.
Goal-setting is more fun when done in family…With all the mess, everyone speaking on top of each other, and the kids cleaning their sticky hands on the New Year’s vision board…That’s family fun for you…
But seriously, despite all the confusion, setting goals together as a family can help foster an environment of cooperation and support. Plus some good laughs in the process…
How do you help your kids set goals for the New Year?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 4, 2017 | Career
Tweed-fringe trim blazer – Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Our Wear to Work feature presents selected pieces of attire for professional and business women in various price ranges.
Nothing says classic Parisian chic like a tweed blazer! Hence today’s pick, this Tommy Hilfiger tweed-fringe-trim blazer available at Macy’s. The sophisticated collarless high neckline and front pockets set this elegant blazer apart. I also love the modern fringes which add a touch of contemporary style. This blazer is $119.99 at Macy’s.
In a similar style, I also like this Rebecca Taylor sparkle-tweed open front blazer from Neiman Marcus. Oh, and this Karl Lagerfeld embellished tweed number from Lord & Taylor too!
Which one is your fave?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 4, 2017 | Career
After turning the last page of “Jump: Take the leap of faith to achieve your life of abundance” by Steve Harvey, I had to pace around the house for a few minutes. It’s because the powerful message contained in this poignant guide by the New York Times best-selling author can hardly leave you without reaction…
The book was actually born on January 13, 2016, when the inspirational mogul gave a six-minute inpromptu speech at the end of his Family Feud show which went viral, garnering over 58 million views worldwide. In his very spontaneous remarks back then, Harvey made a compelling point: that we’re all born with special gifts, and in order to be successful, we need to find these and operate in them.
Jump by Steve Harvey – Photo credit: amazon.com
“When you see people in life … when you’re standing on the cliff of life … and you see people soaring by. You see people soaring, going to exotic places, you hear about them doing wonderful things … maybe you look up the street and your neighbor just gets a new car every year, every two years? You go, ‘How is he doing that?’
“Have you ever thought, ‘Maybe this person right here has identified their gift and is living in their gift?’” Steve Harvey, Jump.
From this viral six-minute speech, came this amazing book, and the astounding #Jumpchallenge and revolution that followed. And let me tell you, it’s not just because comedian and TV host Steve Harvey can literally turn anything into a source of inspiration (and laughs). It’s because in this book, and in that short viral speech, he hit a nerve. A sensitive, tender nerve in so many people out there…
Let’s be honest, how many people have you heard talk about their jobs or lives with undeterred passion and commitment? Not many…And it’s not to throw shade around, but the reality is many, if not most people, are not only not living the life of their dreams, but seriously settling for so much less than what they’re capable of…
I remember sitting around with my bestie in Senegal at all hours of the night, plotting our futures. Talking about how we’d change the world one day. How much we would travel, and how famous/influential we’d be. I was going to be wealthy, live in a condo and travel the world. She would be a renowned doctor saving lives all over…
You know you’ve done it too..Dreaming out loud about the life you had always imagined, and then life, the “real” one, kinda happened, bills started piling up, kids came along,etc..,And before you know it, you had succeeded in silencing the natural urges/voices in your head, if only temporarily…
Reading Steve Harvey’s book will not only remind you of those voices/dreams/aspirations. It will actually awaken them, louder than ever…
It was so humbling and uplifting at the same time to read about Steve Harvey’s life. To listen to his hilarious accounts of failure and success, laced with the honesty and integrity of a legend. It’s almost as if you were sitting across from him at some cozy cafe, listening to him doling out golden nuggets of life advice…
There are way too many lessons from this book to list them all. Yet, if I had to recount the ones that marked me the most, they would be:
The only way to experience real success is to jump.
I strongly believe you define your own meaning of success. Which also means it strongly varies from individual to individual…
But I also believe that to experience the fullness of our purpose, we must continually stretch ourselves. Whether it’s by learning something else, starting a course, doing something different or quitting our full-time jobs to build our businesses…
And really, stretching is jumping, parachute and all…
The process takes time and may even hurt. But you must trust it.
Every time you decide to jump, to stretch yourself to do more, be more, and accomplish more, you’ll take risks. You’ll face opposition. And the process will seriously suck at some point or another…
Some may lose everything in the process, others may have to pay a dear price to achieve their dreams. But we must know that on the way up, the air gets really thin and pain is par for the course. But we must trust it and keep going…
But if you stick to it, you will make it.
Through examples of his own life and others’, Steve makes a promise to us: that despite the discomfort, the pain and even the trauma that jumping can create, if you stick to it, you will make it! You will succeed, on your own terms…
Have you read Jump? What other lessons have you learnt through the book?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 3, 2017 | Career
Wear to Work: Pleat-skirt shirtdress – Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Our Wear to Work feature presents selected pieces of professional attire for professional and business women at various price ranges.
This pleat-skirt shirtdress from Banana Republic is at the intersection of chic and classic. The plated skirt adds yet another touch of sophistication to this already elegant shirtdress. This dress is available in warm orange and neon hibiscus, and in regular and tall sizes. It’s $118 at Banana Republic.
Speaking of shirtdresses, I also like this long-sleeve trench dress, also from Banana.
Which one is your fave?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 3, 2017 | Career
You know it, it’s the beginning of January, right after the euphoria (and exhaustion) of the holidays… Here you are, back at work, staring at your computer screen like a zombie, ready (not quite yet) to tackle another 360 and change days…But really,despite all the “Happy new Year” cheer floating around, the last thing you want to do is the very thing you’re being paid for: work!
Plus if you’ve had a particularly busy holiday season, filled with family and social events (with the addition of large amounts of carbs and sugar), you know rolling out of bed on that first fateful day back at work can be akin to getting a root canal. Minus the soothing elevator music…
So for all of you heading back to the grind on this (happy) new year, here are 7 hacks you may want to add to your toolbox to get back in the work groove with minimum pain:
Do Something for Yourself
It may sound counter-intuitive not to dive headfirst into the personal and professional obligations of the day, especially at the beginning of the New Year. After all, there’s so much to do, right?
Except if you don’t make time for yourself at the beginning of the day, there are chances you won’t at all…So start with your morning routine, whatever it is, whether it’s exercising, praying, meditating, reading, etc…
You’ll be thankful you did when you log in to your email inbox and notice the hundreds of emails waiting for you, plus the notification you haven’t completed your required training for last year yet…
But first coffee and… a (flexible) plan:
Unless you’ve been diligently checking your emails and putting the last touch on that management report while baking your signature pineapple upside down dessert, you’re most likely getting back to work on day two or three of the year with stuff to catch up on. In many cases, quite a bit of stuff…
So start with coffee (the strong kind) and a plan that works well for you. Depending on your personality, type of work, and your own rhythm, you may decide to structure your day according to the times when you’re most productive.
For a more effective morning, consider ditching email and focusing instead on what you MUST do first. Which brings me to my next hack…
Rank tasks by order of importance, and start with the urgent stuff
What are your must-do tasks of the day? What must absolutely be done today?
Give yourself one to two hours to complete these tasks. Not only will it free your mind, but it will also allow you to let go of that sense of overwhelm that may start creeping in on you.
Check in with your team
Unless you’re working alone, you may have to sync your priorities and to-do’s with your team. This can be accomplished through a quick team huddle or informal meeting.
Share priorities with your teammates and quickly devise ways to more effectively accomplish the team’s most pressing objectives.
Set and manage expectations
Realize that everyone’s coming in at the beginning of the year with their own priorities and to-do’s. Which also means that expectations will be heightened for pretty much everyone around…While you should be aware of your teammates and managers’ expectations, you also have to be realistic about what can and cannot get accomplished.
This will avoid any misunderstandings, while also keeping you from crawling under the desk by lunchtime.
Be open
The start of the year can be rough for everyone, yourself included. There may be changes underway in your department or company, and some people may come in with pre-set agendas already. So be open to fluctuations and changes happening around…
The best way to handle it: receive any new information with an open mind, and give yourself some time to process it before you make a final assessment.
This too shall pass/There’s always tomorrow
At the end of the day, it’s only day two of three of the New Year. There will be a whole 360 and change days ahead…
Which also means that unless the coffee machine breaks (which is a seriously bad omen), it’s not the end of the world. Tasks will get done, deadlines will get met, and life will go on…
What hacks would you add to this list to handle the first day of the New Year back at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
