by Solange Lopes | Jan 18, 2015 | Career
Photo credit: intentblog.com
Happy happy Sunday, and happy MLK week-end! As we celebrate the legacy of Dr. King this week-end, let’s be reminded of the human spirit that unites us all as people, regardless of race, creed, gender or origin. Happy birthday Dr. King, we love and miss you! Here are the news that made my week, and hopefully make a bit of yours:
- I can’t wait to see the Selma movie this afternoon, and its director Ava DuVernay is listed in Mashable as one of the 7 Black female directors earning incredible Hollywood reviews;
- Speaking of movies, I, along with millions of others, was stunned at the lack of diversity in the Oscar nominations, and the Washington Post wrote about it here;
- Next time you’re wondering where working women are most common, check out this article from The New York Times’ Upshot;
- And if you’re also wondering which countries have the most women in management, Forbes tells you to wonder no more (and you may want to grab your bathing suit to visit the country where you’re most likely to have a female boss);
- Bustle shows you how to sound smarter and professional in emails;
- Salary Shark asks if you’re guilty of one of these 13 deadly office sins (you don’t have to publicly admit);
- Speaking while female at work is no easy feat. The New York Times comments on Sheryl Sandberg’s op-ed on how women can be heard at work;
- Speaking of speaking up (no pun intended here), Time Ideas gives us some pointers on how to speak with power;
- Thought Catalog listed 16 things successful women wish they’d known ten years ago;
- In great news for breastfeeding moms, the Huffington Post reveals Pope Francis welcomes mothers to breastfeed in the Sistine Chapel (and everybody in favor of it, please say amen);
- Is one of your New Year resolutions to boost your career through professional development? Well, you’re in luck, the Daily Muse lists 50 (cheap) professional development classes you can take this year;
- Single and ready to mingle in the Big Apple? Business Insider picked out for you the 30 most eligible men and women in New York City;
- Can failure be good for your career? CNN asked Christine Lagarde, the first woman to head the IMF, and her words will surprise yet comfort you;
- Fortune Magazine writes about how women can avoid “manterruptions” in meetings (yes, it’s a word).
Happy Sunday, and happy reading!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 16, 2015 | Career
Photo: blackhairinformation.com
If I could take back some of my college antics way back in the day (I’ll refrain from providing details), I so would. And if I could have an unadulterated, honest one-on-one with my younger, more vibrant, corporate self, I’d have a thing or two to say too…
We’ve all done or thought things we’re not exactly proud about, at one point or another in our careers. I distinctly remember sporting way-too-high stilettos, saying exactly what I thought (hello political correctedness), and treating the very concept of punctuality worse than my most resilient plants. And since I can’t exactly go back and fix it all (neither do I want to revisit my heavy eyeliner and lip pencil days), here are 10 things I’d happily tell my younger corporate self to skip at work:
1. Skip the “entitlement” seat! It’s easy to get out of college, all fresh and full of head knowledge, new suits and shiny shoes, and think we know it all. As much as I hate to give the millenial “entitlement” talk any more ammo, I’d nevertheless advise you, my younger, cooler, self, to take it easy. You’ll soon realize all you know is you don’t know all that much…
2. Life isn’t fair, and neither is work! This ain’t the United Nations of Fairness, and not everyone is going to like your savvy, educated self. Let me rephrase that, it’s going to suck, and some days, it’s going to suck even more! You may work late, miss a promotion (or two), be slighted or ignored, or even told where to go…Yet it’s not the end of the world, and you may smile about it fondly when you finally make partner…
3. Don’t talk about it, be about it! You’re going to have to prove yourself, especially as a woman, and even more as a minority woman. Don’t overpromise, over-deliver! Bring your best, all day, every day, no slacking allowed…
4. You’re not here to make friends! Stop worrying about who likes you and who doesn’t! You may be able to ride on the popularity contest thing for a while, but ultimately, it’s about work! Work is your friend here…
5. You can’t avoid the political BS! Don’t fool yourself, there is political BS behind every single cubicle! Get used to it, even better, learn the art of it! It’s not about being dishonest and conniving, it’s about being savvy enough to navigate the corporate world! So toughen up and bite back…
6. Do not tolerate disrespect! I learned a bit too late keeping quiet and accepting disrespect kills you inside. Stand up for yourself, no job is worth the psychological damage. Besides, you will get more respect for yourself this way…
7.You’re not going to make it alone! Yes, you are smart, very smart! You may have all the credentials and some, experience to boot, and even more flair than the next gal! Yet you’ll do better with people and support than all alone…So find your own way of networking, get yourself a mentor, and get the support you need!
8. Be real! As much as you may have to be aware of the political BS (please see item 5), don’t let it sway you from telling, and living your truth! Integrity matters!
9. Relax…but not too much! Yes, the corporate jungle is not exactly the most relaxing place. Yet don’t allow stress, worry and anxiety to take over your life. Relax, take a deep breath, it will all work out in the end…but please, hand in your monthly report by the deadline!
10. Failure is OK! Last but not least, get comfortable with failure! It’s not always going to work out, actually, it may only work out a few times! And that’s ok, because that’s how you learn, and improve, and find your way in the midst of the mess. Chill out, it’s alright…
What would you tell your younger corporate self?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 15, 2015 | Career
Layered dress – $128.25 – Photo credit: neimanmarcus.com
Neiman Marcus is offering $50 off any purchase $200 or over, which piqued my interest quite a bit. What also piqued my fashion interest, was this Laundry by Shelli Segal sleeveless color block layered dress. As much as I’m getting over the color block trend, I have to say the contrast between the white cropped top and darted pencil skirt in this simple yet elegant dress intrigued me. I love how the concept of layering is used in this asymmetrical, modern and interesting piece, which also happens to be on sale for $128.25.
Seen an interesting, work-friendly fashion piece you’d like to see featured? Email me at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 15, 2015 | Career |
Photo credit: http://trevorgreen92.files.wordpress.com
I’ve had to address many a difficult situation with co-workers. From dealing with control freaks to putting up with abuse at work literally, finding the courage, and the right tone to address challenging inter-personal situations at work can be a challenge, a big one at that…
As women at work especially, the pressure to conform and fit in can be particularly daunting. Attempts at challenging the status quo, or even simply standing for ourselves, are most often shut down and denied any value. As minority women especially, the “angry black woman” stereotype is not only damaging to our careers, but also to our psyches (and not even the Shonda Rhimes of this world are spared the insulting comparison). Yet as difficult as these situations may be, there are tips to handle conflicting, difficult situations with co-workers at work:
1. Pick the right time and place! There’s a time and place for everything. Addressing a difficult situation, especially at work, requires extensive dexterity and diplomacy. You don’t want to put yourself in an even more difficult situation. Pick a time and place where you are comfortable, preferably a private, one-on-one setting.
2. Whatever you’re going to say, write it out first! We are emotional creatures, especially as women, and there’s nothing wrong with it. I actually happen to think we can turn our emotions into competitive advantage. Yet in order to channel our emotions in a constructive way, we must learn to control them. One great way to do so is to prepare for confrontation. Write down your arguments, and read them aloud to yourself before meeting with your co-worker, colleague or boss. Ensure they sound constructive and not damaging, and that they help better the situation at hand. And of course, let it be your truth!
3. Take a deep breath! Confronting a difficult situation at work is far from being easy. It’s our jobs we’re talking about after all, our livelihood. It’s normal to feel apprehensive, even a bit fearful of confrontation at work. So take a deep breath, get hydrated, stop questioning yourself, and believe it is all going to work out for the best!
4. Avoid the blame game! As much as you may have many a reason to blame the other party, don’t feed into a back-and-forth type of conversation. Express what you feel, use specific examples, and offer solutions! A good example of a conversation starter in this case would be: ” I appreciate your feedback and leadership, and am grateful for it. However, I do feel that when you address me in an elevated tone of voice, it creates a difficult atmosphere to work in and prevents us from communicating effectively. An example would be when….” And remember to balance each negative with a positive!
5. Back yourself up! Now that you have decided to confront a difficult situation, colleague or boss, be prepared for repercussions. As much as any workplace forbids retaliation or repercussions of any kind, there are informal undercurrents of it that happen at work every day. Stay optimistic as to the outcome of the conversation, yet do not be blind to the possibility that you may now have to watch your back and defend yourself. Make sure your superior is aware of the discussion that occurred. If necessary, depending on the gravity of the situation, document it formally. You may even want to go one step further and alert Human Resources if the situation requires it. In any case, maintain evidence of what happened, in case you need to provide it later.
Have you had to confront a difficult situation at work? How did you go about it?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 12, 2015 | Career |
Photo credit: forbes.com
I wrote earlier about family resenting you for your career success. How about when it’s time to recommend a family member? Is it advisable, or should you rather run in the other direction? The same way using family members as references is usually questionable, and questioned, by hiring managers due to the bias involved, recommending family members can also have many a downside.
From affecting relationships with family members to jeopardizing your reputation at work, recommending family members can certainly present challenges. Hence the need to have a clear, honest conversation at work, and with your family member, beforehand. Also understand the decision process involved is out of your hands. Tread carefully, and be honest from the start.
Would you recommend a family member at work?
The Corporate Sis.
