by Solange Lopes | Jun 28, 2018 | Career
Burnout happens to the best of us. Yes, even the most organized and diligent among working women. While there definitely are slower times during the year, like the month of August when professional and business life seem to come to a standstill, it’s not always the case. There are, on the other hand, times when all professional and personal aspects of life break loose, and we’re left with the pleasant burden to figure it all out.
When it comes to workload and personal responsibilities, peaks and valleys are inevitable. You will go through periods when you feel like there are not enough hours in the day (and you may be through these as we speak). You will also have times when you may feel like you’re not as productive. As a result, we tend to burn out during extremely busy seasons, as we try to get everything done well.
I’ve been a victim of burnout too many times not to know the horrible feeling it leaves you with. Much of it was also self-imposed, which prompted me to look for ways to avoid it. As a working mom, I’ve also realized that it doesn’t just affect me, but pretty much everyone around me. It’s no fun being around a cranky, sleepy, frustrated mom, wife or sister.
Here are a few ways to avoid burnout or face it when it’s already too late:
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Set your priorities straight
One of the main reasons why we tend to burn out is that we take on too much. As we fail to set our priorities, whether personal or professional, straight, we often put ourselves in unbearable situations.
Instead, set your own priorities straight, and take some time to understand and define what really matters to you. These are your non-negotiables, or the stuff that you NEED to do. It may be your mandatory department meeting and deliverables, or your gym time in the morning. Whatever it is, don’t just write it down on your to-do list. Schedule it and strategize in order to accomplish it as successfully as you can.
I’ve learnt the hard way not to allow everyone else’s priorities to become mine. Instead, I take some time every day, week and month, to make a list of my minimum requirements. I usually try and tackle these first thing in the morning to ensure that they don’t slip under the radar.
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Delegate!
Repeat after me: You can do anything, but you CANNOT do everything! Burnout is also often a consequence of not being willing to delegate some tasks and responsibilities off your plate. As a result, you end up committing to way too much, and not being able to deliver in addition to driving yourself insane in the process.
Don’t hesitate to ask for more support and delegate tasks you may need help with. It may even be worth paying for it so you can focus on important tasks, save your time and energy while avoiding burnout.
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Self-care
Self-care is a priority when it comes to avoiding (and healing) burnout. However, in order for it to be effective, it’s important to turn it into a consistent habit. Do something for yourself each and every day, whether it’s fitting in 30 minutes of exercise or managing to sleep for at least 7 hours a night.
The trick is to include self-care in your calendar as you would any other important commitment, and to stick to it.
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Add meaning to what you do
One of the reasons why you may be feeling burnout is that you may not be motivated because you don’t see any meaning in what you do. You may not feel as accomplished as you’d like because you don’t see how you contribute to something bigger. Lacking purpose is one of the ways we can incur significant burnout in our lives.
If it’s the case, then consider taking up a hobby. Sign up as a volunteer as a food bank, or simply commit to helping someone else. Volunteer for a project that excites you, or one that really makes a difference.
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Invest in people
Doing it all on your own can feel quite lonely. Instead, decide to invest some of your time and energy on the people around you. Nurturing your relationships is a great use of your time.
Instead of powering through work all the time, consider going to lunch with a co-worker. Organize playdates with friends, and watch the kids play while you chat (and sip on cocktails). The point is to make the time to be with friends and family, and invest in the right relationships for you. Not only will you benefit from the natural networking, but you will also enjoy the simple pleasures of fun company.
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Find out what drains you
When was the last time you really paid attention to how you spend your time? If you do so, you’ll find out that you may be engaging in activities that drain you. You end up feeling burnout when you engage in too many activities that drain you.
Find ways to spend time on projects that increase, instead of decreasing, your energy. Get the support you need, delegate some of the chores or tasks that drain you, and start really enjoying the work you do.
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Be at peace
Not everything will always be perfect. Actually, very few things, if any, will be. So make peace with the mess, the disorganization and the occasional snafus. Develop your mental strength to accept those things you cannot change, and instead focus on what you can work on making a difference in.
There’s always an option. You can always find another job, ask for a change in schedule, ask for help, and so much more. Things may not change overnight, but your life can look very different next week, month of year. Keep going!
How do you avoid burnout as a busy working woman?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Jun 24, 2018 | Career
Welcome to our career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion weekly news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
- Business Insider shows us how to be fearless at work and how you can get over your fear;
- The Guardian shares the self-help guide for Black women “Slay In Your Lane: The Black Girl Bible”;
- Don’t have the right degree? Recruiter advises you on getting the job without the degree to back it up;
- Ellevate Network highlights how you can boost your career goals this summer;
- The Muse shares how to get ready for work in 10 minutes;
- Workology tips you off on how to command a room as a woman at work;
- The Glassdoor Blog lists 5 interview questions employers trip you up with;
- Got the travel bug? The Indeed blog recommends 15 careers that satisfy your wanderlust;
- Want to get C-suite buy-in? Read this advice by Forbes;
- Ellevate Network shares how to get press for your business;
- Entrepreneurship can be tough on your mind. Forbes Woman reveals 5 mental health tips for entrepreneurs;
- The Undercover Recruiter answers the question: “How can we promote healthy eating in the workplace?”
- The Corporate Sister tells you how to look professional in the summer as a working mom.
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
by Solange Lopes | Jun 23, 2018 | Career
Looking professional as a working woman during the summer months is challenging. I mean, you’re supposed to look put together in the middle of the sweltering heat outside, and as you battle the icy cold of air conditioners blasting inside. Your clothes are supposed to remain immaculate, as you gracefully lodge your freshly manicured toes in elegant open-toed shoes. The reality is that many times, you’re clutching your underarms for fear some unwelcome stress sweat will drown the room, as you’re blotting your face for the umpteenth time before getting mistaken for the corner mirror.
You’ve probably noticed that summertime is also when company and departmental dress codes magically reappear after the winter. It’s because it’s also the time when some pretty interesting, and inappropriate fashion choices, are made in the workplace, from lazy flip-flops to eyebrow-raising tank tops. As a general rule, you may want to check your office dress code, to ensure you’re abiding by the rules.
How to look professional in the heat
Although you certainly don’t wake up like Beyonce (none of us does), there are a few things we can do to actually look professional in the heat:
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Hello summer dresses
French Connection Whisper Ruth Sheath Dress – Nordstrom
The easiest and quickest piece of workwear in the summer is the proverbial summer dress. When in doubt, throw one on, which will avoid you the headache of figuring out which pieces to pair together. My favorite dress shapes in the summer are easy sheath dresses, like this fresh French Connection Whisper Ruth sheath number from Nordstrom. I also like fit-and-flare shapes, such as this Elie Tahari fit-and-flare shirt dress from Saks Fifth Avenue. The point is to be comfortable, fresh and still polished.
Elie Tahari fit-and-flare dress
You may want to avoid too short dresses or dresses that are overly revealing. Preferably, you would pair it with a cardigan or light blazer to combat the air conditioning assault inside building (see tip#6).
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Pick the right fabrics
The last thing you want as you head in to work is to literally suffocate as you’re trapped in some too-heavy fabric for the weather. Make sure to pick breathable and comfortable fabrics, including cotton, linen and silk.
COS Short-sleeve shirt
Flowy silhouettes also tend to be more comfortable and versatile, especially at work. I love this Cos A-line short-sleeveshirt for its basic simplicity. This Akris Punto Kodak stripe wrap blouse from Saks Fifth Avenue is perfect from the meeting room to the after-hours gathering.
Akris Punto Kodak Stripe Wrap blouse – Saks Fifth Avenue
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Pay attention to details
Details are ultimately what make you look polished in any season, but especially so in the summer. As the layers tend to come off in the summer, details such as your nails and even undergarments are more apparent.
Essie Guilty Pleasures nail polish – Dermstore
Keep your manicure and pedicure fresh and polished for a professional look. My favorite nail polish shades for the summer include this Guilty Pleasures cheery shade from Essie,as well as this gorgeous lavender shade from OPI. You also can’t go wrong with clean nude shades like the iconic Christian Louboutin Nudes collection from Nordstrom, or the Burberry Nude pink No. 101 from Net-A-Porter.
In the same vein, make sure your undergarments are supporting and complimenting your figure adequately. The 24/7 Lace Perfect Coverage Bra from Third Love is great to achieve the comfort and support you need at work.
24/7 Lace Perfect Coverage Bra – Photo courtesy: Third Love
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Put your right footwear forward
As a general rule, if there is more shoe than foot, you’re probably dressed too casually for the office. When wearing peep-toe pumps or sandals, pick dressy ones that look polished enough. Avoid flip-flops or overly open footwear.
Cole Haan Patent Leather Peep-Toe Wedges – Saks Fifth Avenue
My favorite footwear for the summer is elegant and comfortable wedges, preferably peep-toe style. For work, I like these classic Cole Haan patent leather peep-toe wedges from Saks Fifth Avenue, or these Lucky Brand Jestah beauties from Nordstrom.
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Carry some summer essentials with you
Aburatorigami Japanese Blotting Papers – Sephora
The heat definitely makes it necessary to carry some beauty essentials with you, including a small deodorant, blot paper and antiperspirant wipes. My favorites are these Aburatorigami Japanese blotting papers from Sephora, made of natural abaca leaf and gold flakes to absorb excess oil without damaging your make-up.
These IGK charcoal dry shampoo hair blotting tissues, also from Sephora, also come in handy when you don’t have time for more frequent shampoos in the summer. While you’re at it, grab these Dermadoctor Med E Tate antiperspirant wipes from JC Penneyas well, and this Fresh sugar roll-on deodorant anti-perspirant from Nordstrom.
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Mind Your Layers
J. Crew Factory Cardigan
I’m still not sure why the air conditioners are set to blast arctic air inside when the temperatures rise outside. The point is, it’s always recommended to plan for layers in the summer. This may mean carrying along a light blazer or cardigan that you can quickly throw on in the office, and take off when you step outside.
One of my favorite is the cotton, three-quarter Clare cardigan from J. Crew Factory. I also love floral cardigans such as this Karen Scott printed number from Macy’s.
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Work your do
As a curly girl, summer is one of my least favorite “hair seasons.” Between excessive frizz and rebellious edges, it can be hard to keep a professional hairstyle all day long. I’ve found that it takes the right products to keep your locks in place and look the part.
Cantu natural coconut curling cream – Sally Beauty
My go-to’s to tame your curls into professional and elegant looks are the Cantu leave-in conditioner from Sally Beauty, as well as the Cantu coconut curling cream, also available at Sally Beauty.
Over to you: how do you manage to look professional in the summer months?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Jun 22, 2018 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
For many, if not most of us, summer equates with travel time. From weekend getaways with the family to girl trips, it’s a great time for working moms to get their relaxing on and spend precious quality time with family and friends. It’s also a time that can be quite expensive, because, well…traveling costs money.
Although I look forward to summer, I’m careful to be smart about budgeting my expenses as it often turns out to be the most expensive time of year for our family. Between summer camps, impromptu outings and trips, vacation and summer events, it’s easy to lose track of your budget, especially as a working mom. By the time my little ones bribe me into buying them ice cream every other day, and all the mini-trips to keep them entertained, I’m checking into my budget in sheer disbelief.
If you’re a working mom who likes to keep the reins on your summer spending without having to sacrifice all the summer fun, here are a few tips you may find useful:
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Search for the lowest flight and hotel rates with comparison sites
Repeat after me: I will never pay full-price for another flight or hotel again! When you add to it your two or three (or more) little ones paying full-price only to end up on your lap, you realize how important it is to save money on your flight prices.
Use comparison sites such as Trip Advisor, or Pricelineare great for finding reasonabley priced flights. Other well-known comparison sites include Hotwire, Cheap Flights, as well as Trip Advisorand Expedia. CheapOAirand Travelocityare also some of my favorites.
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Take up road-tripping
As a non-adventurous mom, I never thought going on road trips would be remotely fun for me. However, after being coerced into a car with two little humans, I have to admit it can be quite the interesting adventure. It allows the entire family to experience various areas, cities and states, while still being able to observe pit stops and go at a reasonable pace.
I would advise taking advantage of some amazing car rental rates to save money on road trips. Companies such as Dollar Rent-a-carand Thriftyare reasonable options price-wise.
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Save on transportation costs with Uber
When visiting a city, take advantage of the low prices and convenience of Uber. It has become my transportation of choice when I travel, as I can find Uber drivers pretty much anymore. There are many cost-effective options available, from being in an Uber pool with other riders to more exclusive ridership options.
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Stay at an Airbnb
If you don’t want to pay hotel rates, how about considering the Airbnb option? These accomodations are rented out by their owners and usually come at a less expensive price than regular hotel rates.
Besides, it’s fun to visit a place by staying in a local home and experiencing what living like a local feels like.
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Cruise it up
If you don’t want to fly anywhere, cruises can be a good, and less pricey alternative. With the cost of flights constantly increasing and no longer including certain amenities such as snacks, meals, or Wifi, cruises end up being more economical.
Companies such as Princess Cruiseshave a strong reputation for fun and price-conscious cruises. Sightseeing cruises provided by companies such as City Cruises are also economical and fun to experience.
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Use credit cards for travelers
There are many cards that offer numerous travel advantages. However, as a working mom, there are some in particular that are best for traveling families because of the great rewards they offer.
I particularly like the low-fee cards such as the Capital One Venture One Rewards card which keep your annual fees low. In addition, these cards tend to also offer access to car rental and accident protection, as well as emergency travel assistance.
Another good option consists in branded airline and hotel credit cards. These allow you to accrue points based on your mileage, which can even end up getting you some free trips. A popular one is the Gold Delta Sky Miles credit card.
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Travel during off-peak seasons
Costs can creep up pretty significantly as the family grows. This is why it may be more beneficial for families to make travel arrangements during off-peak seasons. The prices tend to be more affordable then, and there tend to be less crowds as well.
Another option is to purchase your tickets well in advance to lock the best prices. The longer you wait, the more the prices creep up.
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Check rates around 4:30pm EST on Tuesdays
Interestingly enough, it appears that rates tend to be lower on Tuesdays at 4:30pm. Many customers report paying significantly lower prices for flights and other travel accomodations then. In any case, it’s good to check on the fluctuation of prices often so as to catch any decrease in rates.
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Pack snacks and food
You can never go wrong packing your own snacks and food, especially as you travel with kids. Having fruits, vegetables, and other healthy foods on hand will save you lots of money (and time) on the road (or in the air). You can easily spend hundreds of dollars on fast-food and other snacks as you travel if you don’t take earlier precautions.
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Take cash with you
In general, taking physical cash helps curb excessive spending, especially when surrounded by children asking for the next snack or toy around. As you’re traveling, make sure to carry cash with you. This will not only serve in case of emergencies, but also to limit your expenses to what you have on hand.
Over to you: What are your best tips to save money on travel as a working mom?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
by Solange Lopes | Jun 20, 2018 | Career, Working Mom & Woman Tips
It takes a village. Not just to raise a child, but to live our best lives as women. It’s challenging to be truly successful alone, if possible at all. As much opposition that there seems to be among women, in and outside of the workplace, the truth is, we need each other to be fully flourishing and successful, whatever our definition of success is. As working women, we do need a tribe of supportive women to surround and accompany us on our personal and professional journeys.
As the proverbial independent woman, I was taught that you can accomplish success alone. However, the more I was around other powerful and strong women in their own right, the more I realized that our impact is not diminished but rather multiplied when we’re in the right tribe of women.
Yet, it can be challenging to find the right tribe for us, especially considering the barriers and obstacles imposed on women in and outside of work. From the “Queen Bee” syndrome, which mandates that only one woman can hold the power in a given organization, to the many false stereotypes and preconceptions about women being unable to collaborate and work together, there are indeed many challenges. This is not about being part of a clique or exclusive group of women reminiscent of high school. Rather, it’s about building an empowering circle whose main goal is to help the women in it maximize their potential and fulfill their God-given purpose.
Through my discussions with my women friends and many working women around me, and by experiencing myself the power of being part of a tribe of supportive women, I learnt about what it takes to build it for ourselves. If like me, you’re always looking to build or strengthen a tribe of supportive women around you, these pointers may help:
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Work on yourself first
Any relationship you may have starts with you! Before even thinking of entering or building a tribe, you must first consider working on yourself. You can’t pour out of an empty cup, neither can you be a full part of any relationship unless you are full yourself! When I say full, I mean filled with your own authenticity, purpose and worth. This is not to say that you must be perfect, no one is. However, you must work on yourself to clean up any mental or spiritual clutter that may affect your relationships with other women, and be accepting of yourself so you in turn can accept others.
One recurring message I heard throughout my youth is that you cannot trust other women. As a result, I grew more distrustful of my peers, which created a block in my relationships with other women for a long time. It took self-exploration and self-work to understand these mental patterns, and eradicate them from my mind. It also took working on my self-esteem and self-worth in order to accept myself as I am, so I in turn could be more accepting of others.
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Look for leadership characteristics
Building or strengthening a tribe of strong and powerful women requires certain leadership characteristics in all parties involved. You cannot build strong relationships based on weak character. This is the reason why relationships and friendships are so crucial, as they mirror who we are and help us develop into the people we need to be in order to have healthy and fruitful interactions.
This is also why it’s so important to look for leadership characteristics in your fellow tribe sisters. The goal here is to empower each other, so we must all do the work on ourselves. Unfortunately, we also all have seasons during which we may not be a right fit for each other, and it’s ok.
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Be open-minded
Very often, we miss out on wonderful connections and relationships because we’re not open-minded enough. A tribe of supportive women is made out of all different women with different tastes, likes, dislikes and abilities. The more open-minded we are, the more we can build fruitful and positive relationships that help us empower and strengthen each other.
The most positive relationships are most often those in which opposites are connected and help strengthen each other through their differences. Be open-minded enough to get to know women who do not look like you, do not move or think like you. You may find out that there is such a wealth of perspectives, knowledge and wisdom to be found around us.
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Don’t be afraid to walk away from relationships that don’t fit
Building a tribe of supportive women also means knowing when to walk away from interactions that are simply not the right fit for us. This is not to condemn anyone, or cast a judgment upon anyone. The reality is we all need to work on different areas of our lives. As we go through different seasons, we must also realize that some relationships and connections, and by extension some tribes, are just for us. We must also muster the courage to walk away from these and seek the tribes that are truly for us.
There’s always some level of guilt associated with walking away from certain relationships. However, it doesn’t have to be a conflicting situation. Rather, it can simply be a peaceful understanding that it may be better to explore other relationships for the time being.
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Support, not competition!
The point here is to foster a supportive, not a competitive community. Unfortunately, we’ve been conditioned as women to compete against each other, as we were made to believe that there is only room for one of us at a time. This is one of the greatest fallacies of time, which seeks to pin women against each other, and thus diminish our influence and impact.
Instead, seek to build a tribe that is focused on supporting each woman reach their potential and accomplish their purpose.
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Honesty is key
Honesty is crucial when it comes to building such a tribe. Often, in attempts to protect others or ourselves, we shy away from being our most transparent selves. A solid tribe of women who support each other is one where honesty is the rule and not the exception. Dare to speak up and confront your fellow sisters when necessary, and establish a foundation of trust.
While certain conversations can be hard to be had, it’s important to get past the initial discomfort to address potential or existing issues. It’s also one of the best ways to get to know your fellow sisters and learn to face challenging situations together.
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Honor yourself
Last but not least, always honor yourself. Being part of a tribe of women doesn’t mean denying oneself. On the contrary, it’s an act of self-love and communal love that says: “I value myself enough to surround myself with strong, supportive women whom I support and who support me in achieving my God-given purpose.”
Now your turn: How have you built your own tribe of supportive women?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
