Better to be feared or liked at work – Photo credit: gitsville.com
Niccolo Macchiavelli famously said “It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.” Yet when it comes to business and leadership, is it better to be feared than loved? Or is respect much more important? Yet, isn’t respect established based on a good and healthy mix of fear and appreciation?
Throughout my career, especially as a minority woman at work, I’ve pondered this question over and over. As I reported to extremely nice ( at times way too nice) bosses, and significantly less nice managers, and as I had to also be in a supervisory role, I wondered which was best. Be nice and friendly, and run the proverbial risk of familiarity breeding contempt? Or to be demanding and exacting to the point of breeding less than warm and fuzzy feelings within our work teams?
The reality is, and considering my people-pleasing tendencies (I know, I know, working on it) this is a pretty baffling statement coming from me, neither “doormat-style” kindness, nor Macchiavelli-style fear-inducing managerial tactics, really work.
What works is what I like to call “authoritative kindness”, the kind that calls for respect and consideration at work. The kind that is friendly but firm. The kind that realizes while we’re not at work to make friends, we work better when we’re at peace than in fear-based turmoil.
So be nice and gentle, yet be fearless! Produce your best work and let it shine, unapologetically! Help yourself first so you can help others, and remember, in the words of Viola Davis’ character Annalise Keating in “How to Get away with Murder” last night, “you don’t make history being liked”!
What do you think? Is it better to be liked or feared at work?
The Corporate Sis.
