In most professional environments, there’s receiving feedback, and then there’s receiving feedback as a woman. Like getting diagnosed with a condition you actually understand and know how to remediate, versus being given some vague, ambiguous professional sentence you can’t actually put a finger on, never mind get a clear take-away from. Something that would include general, fuzzy words like “bossy”, “emotional”, or even “abrasive”.
I remember coming out of the first of what I called the “ambiguous” series of performance reviews I ever received. There I was, my performance review in hand, scratching my head, with a faint idea of what I was to do now, and a strong sense that this was more personal than professional. I was told to be less “emotional” and more “aggressive”, yet not so much so that I would become abrasive. And to take more initiative but not so much that it wouldn’t let others’ work shine too. Of course, being a woman of color with all the associated stereotypes only made matters more complicated. Ok…
As you start and progress through your career, what no one tells you about receiving feedback as a woman at work is very often, you’ll be left puzzled. Very often, you’ll walk of that room feeling blind-sided and a bit surprised, which should never happen during a performance review. And you may very well be tempted to start putting your personality and abilities in question…
Awareness is key to not only understanding this bias, but working around and against it at the same time. Don’t allow it to disarm or destabilize you, and while you’re at it, tell another woman…
Have you faced subtle or outward gender bias in your performance reviews?
What if I don’t want the promotion – Photo credit: bet.com
You know when deep inside you really don’t want that veggie omelette for breakfast. It’s good for you, it may even have your favorite cheese in it (the low-fat version). Everyone around you may celebrate your good, healthy choice. But you just know you don’t want that. That or the gleaming promotion you’re being offered, along with the boat load of work to match. You’ve just let Sheryl Sandberg, Oprah, and all the women who preach female leadership and success, down. What happens when you just don’t want the promotion, the glitz and the honor at work?
As women at work, facing day to day challenges may just put us in a position where our choices end up differing from the general expectation. And that’s ok…
My $0.05: Sometimes, you just want something different. Or you may be so tired, in between your 2.5 kids and the unending laundry, to want more at work. Heck, sometimes you just want a nap, and someone to clean your house. Should you feel ashamed of not wanting that promotion? Are you letting down the rest of “Woman-kind”? Or are you just making the choices that work for you, even if they don’t work for anyone else?
Have you ever turned down a promotion? Or would you? Chime in..
Spring and its easy dresses are coming back, hopefully fast enough! Hence today’s contemporary, flattering and Spring-perfect Dana Buchman printed knot-front dress from Kohls. Loving the black-and-white original printed pattern and the easy boatneck shape. I’m not mad at the sales price either, which makes this $39.99 dress a steal!
I remember this newly promoted young woman telling me once: “Watch, now that I’m promoted, I’ll never be invited to informal team lunches again.” And right, she was. As she settled in her new tenure, the invites lessened, and so did the Instant Message pings going around for informal happy hour. On the other hand, the pressure to compete with the men in similar higher-up positions increased.
All of a sudden, this woman who had worked so hard to earn her professional success, was being shunned exactly because of it…And instead of rejoicing over her newfound success, she was starting to question if it was even worth it.
According to this recent study, women in power positions at work are more likely to suffer from depression. The opposite is true for men. Despite achieving seemingly better socio-economic advantages, including more money, better education, which are also linked to better health, women in powerful positions in the workplace tend to suffer from negative stereotypes, discrimination, prejudice, lack of support, and competitive pressures. Additionally, the fact many a woman may perceive a trade-off between power at work and at home, may put female higher-ups in a constant limbo between professional and family obligations. So how can women navigate professional success without letting it impact them negatively?
1. Understand the bias exists. Both the organizations and the women in it need to understand there is a real bias against women in power. It has existed since the beginning of times, and most likely will persist despite our best efforts. I know some people with the best of intentions who have bias. Being aware of it can make all the difference between spotting an organizational problem, and internalizing it as a personal flaw.
2. Work with what you’ve got! Once women and organizations alike understand the problem is the deeply ingrained bias in cultures and people, they are better able to navigate the resulting situations. For instance, many women tend waver in their approach to authority as they fear being authoritative does not match the expectation around women being cooperative and friendly. Working around these expectations can help not only lessen them, but also introduce newer, more realistic and effective ones.
3. Seek support! Any women in a position of power is likely to face gender-related bias at work, along with the associated challenges. As we look around at successful women who’ve paved the way to success, one common point among them is mentorship. A mentor will help you find and apply strategies to circumvent bias-related issues in the workplace. If nothing else, their support will help you keep on keepin’ on when all you want to do is “lean out”…
More power, more problems? Do you think power is bad for women?
As we celebrate the advances we all made as women, and gear up to “make it happen” and achieve gender equality by 2030, we take a look at the news that reminded us of the importance of women’s contributions, gave us tips to do better as women, and made us feel all fuzzy around this week:
Forbes came out this week with its listing of the richest women in the world 2015, and women beat another record, with 197 out of 1,826 billionaires being women this year, up from 172 in 2014. The Root also shares with us its list of the richest black women in 2015;
Speaking of records, Fortune writes about Toyota promoting its first woman to top post;
In beautiful news this week, The Drum reveals Cannes Lions debuted a gender stereotype subversion award called the Glass Lion, which Cindy Gallop will judge;
In a sobering wake-up call, NPR alerts us to the fact younger women tend to hesitate to say they’ve having a heart attack;
In other sobering news, Futurity confirms bias adds an extra hurdle for women entrepreneurs
Fast Company introduces us to the entrepreneur who is fighting gender stereotypes in combat sports;
In a poignant Fortune article, Power to Fly co-founder Katharine Zaleski apologizes to all working mothers for treating them pearly before she had a child of her own, and oh do we appreciate her candor;
I loved this HuffPost Black Voices article headlining young girls proving just how phenomenal they are with an awesome tribute to Maya Angelou;
If you’re looking for a job this year, Forbes has a list of 10 great companies for women in 2015;
In interesting news, Elle writes about the “average Barbie’s” latest appeal to embrace our imperfections, stretch marks and all;
In other inspirational news, Levo shares with us 15 career tips from our favorite #girlbosses;
Speaking of Girl Inspiration, this Huffington Post article reiterates women have incredible power to affect change, whether we know it or not, while quoting this study showing how girls and boys are stacking up in school worldwide;
CNN takes a look at how drugs are stifling women’s emotions, and it’s not pretty;
The New York Times celebrates the 5 “Colored Girls” who dared to take a seat among the political elite.
Please enjoy this Women on Top short documentary from Hello Beautiful:
Today, we commemorate International Women’s Day. This year’s theme is rightfully called “Make it Happen“, as a reminder the biggest issues for women around the world are far from being solved, and this despite the big feminist calls of this past year. From #yestoallwomen, to #whyistayed, the social media campaigns raising awareness to women’s issues were abounding. Yet, awareness may just not ben enough…
In order to bring sustainable change to this, we must affect not only corporations, businesses and states, but most importantly legislations that effect real change. We must purposely seek to make a difference, not just at home, but beyond the limits of our own perceived influence. This year, could you commit to making a donation to a charity for women? Could you mentor another female looking to succeed in your own organization or beyond? Could you push for government change from where you are? Could you tell your son, husband, father, or boss, about what it means to be a woman in this world, and how they can help make it a better place for their wives, daughters, nieces, mothers too?
Yes, women “make it happen” every single day, most of us to barely survive and make it to the next. Yet, there is still much work to be done. Let’s continue to make it happen, not just for ourselves, but for all of us, our daughters, nieces, cousins, mothers, aunts, and for all the women around the world.
Enjoy this short video from UN Women’s Executive Director Phumzile Mlambo on International Women’s Day 2015:
My $0.05: With the advent of smartphones and tech stuff everywhere, it’s now more than ever important to delineate personal and business. Here are a few quick tips:
1. Read your employer’s technology and Bring Your Own Device (BYOD) policies! Find them, read them, and apply them!
2. Don’t email work documents to your personal accounts. This could be considered stealing confidential documents. Just don’t do it!
3. Beware of checking personal email on your work computer. Anything you access on your computer at work can be used against you. If you really have to check your personal email, use your own device.
4. Watch personal communications at work. That includes emails, instant messages, and even phone conversations. Keep personal emails to a minimum and very “kosher”. Avoid chain mails for security reasons, and if you think your boss shouldn’t see it, don’t send it out!
Basically, when at work, do your work! And if you must communicate on a more personal level, bring your own device!
