by Solange Lopes | Dec 9, 2014 | Career |
Rude behavior at work – Photo: village.com
‘Tis the season to be merry…and put up with all kinds of rudeness, including at work. I’m not sure if it’s the stress of the holidays, or if because most people just don’t want to be at work, whatever it is, it’s prime time for rude behavior worldwide. From the angry customer yelling at the cashier to get their .2225555% discount on that ugly sweater, to your client at work pushing back on how much time you spend working for them, of all people…And while it’d be easy to check the angry lady in the store, or give the guy who stole your parking spot (really, dude) a piece of your sick and tired mind, telling co-workers, clients or colleagues what time it is, is slightly more challenging….
Yet there are smart, peaceful ways to deal with rude people, at work or in life. As an auditor by trade, I’ve had my share of ahem…interesting clients, colleagues and co-workers. When you ask questions for a living, you run the risk of pissing people off and getting a rude response (or two).
And after many a rude responses, a lot of “no she didn’t”, and a few “Ooooh if my paycheck didn’t depend on this”, here are a few no-nonsense, professional yet assertive ways to deal with the rudeness in the workplace:
1. Do not ignore it! Remember the saying about “teaching others how to treat you”? Well, it applies at work too…Do not allow anyone to step on your toes and disrespect you, because all you’ll be doing is reinforce a destructive pattern that will end up hurting your career.
2. Respond immediately! Nothing like beating the iron when it’s still hot! Address the situation immediately using the same context it was created in. Whether it’s shooting back a professional email, or clearly and respectfully asking the person to stop their damaging behavior, react well and react NOW!
3. Remain courteous but firm! When addressing rudeness at work, do not give back what’s been served to you, EVER! Use courtesy and professionalism at all times, but be firm!
4. Document E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G! Keep a record of all offensive communications, as well as your responses. If the person’s behavior is verbal, confirm it via email or written documentation.
5. Don’t hate, elevate! If the offense is repeated multiple times, or if there appears to be no other alternative, elevate the issue to management or Human Resources. This is where your written records of the situation come in handy.
6. It’s not about you! Rude behavior has more to do with the perpetrator than with you! So nix the guilt trip, and recognize it’s not about you!
7. Take responsibility and move on! Acknowledge the situation, take responsibility for any part you may have had in it, fix what’s in your control, and move on! There’s no point dwelling on the negative. Remain professional and keep kicking a…, that’s just what you do!
How do you deal with rude people at work?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 8, 2014 | Career |
Office holiday party – Photo: hrpeople.monster.com
‘Tis the season for the office holiday parties! Even the economy is in agreement with it, as proven by this survey showing nine out of ten companies plan to host a holiday party this year. We’ve heard all the tips, networking tricks, and do’s and dont’s of attending this (much dreaded) event too. And now with all the hoopla going on around what to wear, what not to drink and what to say, you’re wondering if you should even bother…Simply because, truth is, many out there simply don’t care that much…
My $0.05: If you’re a Manager or above, or your position is highly visible in the organization, I’d recommend attending the office holiday party. Even if you’re on your way out, you wouldn’t want to burn any bridges. If you can excuse yourself ahead of time and cite a commitment you can’t get out of, and your career wouldn’t suffer from missing the event, I’d say “ditch it and be merry!” In any case, be professional and respectful about it.
Will you be skipping the office holiday party this year?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 8, 2014 | Career
DS Knit Dress – $80.50 – Photo: lastcall.com
Last Call is having a great sale (extra 30% off for Friends and family, and 40% off with Neiman Marcus credit card)! This DS knit stripe V-neck dress is a great buy at $80.50, considering the luxe knit fabric, elegant design, and versatility of its design.
Loving the season-appropriate 3/4 sleeves, flattering V-neckline and intricate play of contrasting stripes on this dress that looks great in or out of the office. I’d pair this dress with killer black pumps like this French Connection suede pair with metallic accents, or these Charles David pointy-toe suede pumps, both from Last Call.
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 8, 2014 | Career |
Photo: bet.com
We’ve all felt like a loser at work, at some point or another. Whether because we seriously messed up, a colleague got promoted over us, or we spilled coffee on our semi-clean shirts (in top of the baby milk and lipstick stain from last month). Feeling like a loser sucks, and feeling like a loser at work, where you do have to put somewhat of a front, sucks even more…
Yet it’s simply hard, if not nearly impossible to avoid. In order to make progress, you will have to fail. And in order to be successful, you have to learn to fail well; but it’s all about accepting to feel like a loser and pick up your self-esteem off the floor with as much dignity (and style) as possible. When you’re a strong, ambitious, no-nonsense woman or man at work, that’s (almost) equivalent to skipping dessert…
Remember Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, admitting she’d dated every loser around her before landing Mr. Right (may I add, Mr. Very Right)? Or Michael Jordan admitting to missing over 9,000 shots in his career? This is not to inspire you to go out there and fail some more, but rather to acknowledge failure, and feeling like you can’t possibly pick your face up off you cubicle floor, is part of the game of success. I’ve dated losers, failed more times than I care to admit when sitting for my license, taken a step back in my career after having kids, and this is my second blog venture, and so forth and so on: Failure and I have had a few run-ins, and we’re just now getting to be on civil terms. You too should get acquainted with it, and learn to fail well so you can succeed even better:
1. Kick the fear of failure to the curb! Even worse than failing, is the failure to fail, which catapults you to failure even faster. Recognize you will fail, just as you will have bad hair days or make a lousy meal (you know you have). Don’t be afraid of the ridicule or the sour experience. Confront it heads on, reapply your lipstick and move on!
2. Nix the loser attitude! Feeling like a loser (temporarily) is one thing, having the attitude to match is another. As much as you may feel like crawling under your desk and missing the quarterly reporting deadline, don’t! Take a minute (or two), compose yourself and get back to work with a professional attitude. That’s just what you do (and then go buy yourself a pint of Dulce de Leche ice cream)…
3. Now re-calibrate your performance! Losses are there to show us where we’ve gotten off track. Use them! Analyze your mistakes, fix them if possible, and apply the lesson to your next performance. Doesn’t Beyonce herself watch every single one of her performances after the fact to improve on them? Be your career’s Queen Bee…
Did you ever feel like a loser at work? What did you do about it?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 7, 2014 | Career |
Photo: www.pinterest.com
I was watching Christmas with the Kranks the other day, and oh could I relate to this middle class couple who just wanted to trade the Christmas busyness for a relaxing (and warm) cruise in the Caribbeans. As I sat in traffic with a bunch of holiday-crazed drivers this week-end trying to get to one more overcrowded store playing one more overplayed Christmas tune, I couldn’t help but thinking “This is why the holidays suck!”…
Other than the heavy pressure on your already light wallet, the holidays can be especially hard on everyone who’s not the picture perfect family huddled around their tastefully decorated Christmas tree. For grieving families who’ve suffered losses, all this cheer is a constant reminder of what no longer is. Economically speaking, despite the 4.1% increase in sales this holiday season predicted by the National Retail Federation, most of this spending will be made by the wealthiest among us, with the rest of the population “bracing for a have-not holiday“. Not to mention the stress of the extra spending, extra time, and extra exhaustion during this time…
As a society, we’ve managed the extraordinary feat of turning a holiday about love and family into the biggest commercial challenge of the year. And we’ve willingly, in the process, piled on more obligations and requirements onto our already overflowing to-do list. Hence the lady in the mall’s parking lot just stole your spot and gave you the finger, or that you caught yourself elbowing the cutest little girl to get the last Frozen Snow Glow Elsa doll for your daughter (I didn’t do it!). Well, this, all this craziness, all this time and money spent at getting things we won’t remember for people who won’t remember them in five years (or next week), and all this do that, and cook this, and buy that, this is why the holidays suck…and why it’s hard to be cheerful when you’ve got to fight with a 5-year old for a toy…
And since we all, deep down inside, in that still warm corner of our hearts that’s not trying to get back at that crazy driver in the Walmart parking lot, really like the holiday season, it may be high time to put down the to-do list, drive away from the overcrowded stores, and give that poor kid at the store the last doll…After all, it will be over in a few days, and no one, not even you will remember what all the fuss was about (except for that giant headache that won’t quit)…And if you must, order online, get everyone the same ugly sweater, or heck…book that family cruise!
Happy…ahem…holidays!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 7, 2014 | Career
Weekly news update – Photo: blackgirllonghair.com
Happy Sunday! Hope everyone’s having a great week-end! We got our Christmas tree yesterday, all the while disrupting the entire store courtesy of two over-agitated toddlers. Christmas shopping is 75% done, as I’m praying for a stress-free holiday season this year (one can always hope, right?). And in the midst of all the holiday craziness, packed schedule and extra pounds, here is a look at this week’s news:
- This week we saw the Nation shaken by the Grand Jury decision not to indict the police officers involved in the deaths of Mike Brown and Eric Garner, and The Root confirms protest against police violence continue in cities across the country, while the New York Times admits police violence seems to result in no punishment;
- In other controversial news, Peggy Young’s case against UPS’, and companies in general, treatment of pregnant women at work has Mother Jones (and everyone else around) raising the question as to whether companies can treat pregnant workers like crap;
- Black Enterprise provides five tips to ensure you look like the boss;
- Despite all the busyness, the holidays are a great time to boost your career, even for the jobs hoppers who, according to Fast Company, are not as stigmatized as before (you may want to check out that new job posting);
- The Daily Muse writes about how to network, impress and still have loads of fun at your office holiday party, while Slate has great tips on how to rescue a boring conversation beyond the “what do you do” pick up line;
- Inc. tips us off on how to get 90% of your work done before lunch;
- Fight the stress this holiday season, with Dr. Mommy’s tip on using one hour a week, yes just an hour a week, to relieve stress;
- The Harvard Business Review has an interesting take on making dumb groups smarter (and it works), while writing about how great managers motivate their teams to innovate;
- It’s time to revise your resume, and Campus to Career has this great infographic describing your resume as a burger;
- ‘Tis the season for office gift giving: check out Levo League‘s gift guide rulebook for your office;
- And if you’ve been dreaming to escape the craziness of the holiday season (I know I have), Business Insider lists the 10 highest-paying jobs for people who love to travel;
- Columbian.com reveals mobility is more of an issue for jobs men choose, rather than women (we knew it, but feel vindicated to have it in print);
- Lifehacker shows you how hard it be to pay your student loans based on your major;
- The Onion had me in stitches reading this hilarious, but oh so true piece, entitled” As a working mom, it’s hard to find time to masturbate” (a must read);
- Last but not least, if you’re feeling off track this holiday season, take a listen to this excerpt from For Harriet Oprah’s take on life, career and leadership:
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 3, 2014 | Career |
Plaid A-line skirt – Photo: talbots.com
This plaid A-line skirt from Talbots has such a “Christmas-y” feel, yet is great for work! Loving the easy plaid fabric on an otherwise classic A-line skirt, perfect for the season! This skirt is $99 at Talbots, and you can take 30% off your entire purchase now through 12/10!
I’d pair this elegant skirt with a classic turtleneck like this luxurious cashmere version from Ann Taylor, or even this relaxed draped version. A nice pair of leather wedge booties like this one would complete the look beautifully (past….shoes and accessories are 50% off at Ann Taylor!).
The Corporate Sis.
