by Solange Lopes | Jan 4, 2018 | Career
Workwear: Turtleneck Sweater – Photo credit: uniqlo.com
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
I love an elegant, classic turtleneck for cold months, like this high-quality, 100% extra fine merino wool number from Uniqlo. The fit is flattering and perfect paired with any bottom or under a blazer for the office. It’s also a great choice for the weekends over your favorite pair of jeans. Even better, it’s on sale for $19.90 at Uniqlo.
In the same style, I also like this luxurious 100% cashmere turtleneck sweater, also from Uniqlo. This long-sleeve knit number from White House Black Market is also a perfect layering option for any wardrobe.
What pieces of workwear would you like us to feature? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
This post contains affiliate links and The Corporate Sister may earn commissions for purchases through links in this post. Thank you!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 3, 2018 | Find Your Purpose
You know those moments when you feel like you can’t do it, whatever “it” may be. Those times when you can’t see the forest from the trees and don’t see a way. Or those instances when you feel like you’re not enough, you can’t measure up, or you simply don’t have what it takes. We all do know these, because at one point or another of our lives and careers, we all have experienced them.
Some of us are better at dealing with these times of self-doubt, or concealing them. The rest of us have a hard time letting it go. All of us must work on it. It’s called self-doubt, and it’s ruined many a promising future, career or business. It’s this implacable sense that who we are, what we have and where we’re headed is not enough. These voices in our heads that keep telling us we can’t be everything we want to be. The fear and negativity that keep us from living fully and enjoying the journey.
As hard as it is for me to admit, I’ve always been plagued by self-doubt. In my career, business and everyday life, I, like so many others, must fight thoughts such as:
“Can I do this?”
“Will people like me? Will they like what I produce?”
“What happens if I fail?”
I’ve learnt a while ago that self-doubt is natural. What’s not natural is allowing it to overcome our lives and take away every opportunity to better ourselves. The point is, it’s not so much that self-doubt will come, because it will.
The point is, we must move forward even as we’re tempted to be paralyzed by self-doubt.
We must keep pushing, even as we’re terrified, scared, and downright ready to quit and run the other way.
I’m still learning to overcome my self-doubt. I don’t believe I will ever be done. Over time, and after so many failures, here are some tips I have picked up to overcome self-doubt and build confidence as a working woman:
PS: Join our email newsletter as I share my journey and the lessons I’ve learnt along the way!
HOW TO OVERCOME SELF-DOUBT AS A WORKING WOMAN
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Start with your why
I often mention how important it is to know your “why”. When you’re defying stereotypes and working to rise above societal expectations and norms, knowing your “why” and trusting your values is crucial.
Many times, I have to ask and remind myself: “Self, why are you doing what you are doing?” When I’m reminded of my purpose, most often through prayer, It’s easier to let go of self-doubt.
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Allow yourself to feel self-doubt
This may sound counter-intuitive. However, taking the time and allowing yourself to feel self-doubt is actually healing. You cannot fight what you don’t know. Many of us choose to ignore our feelings. Instead, we drown them with work, a busy social calendar, or excessive social media use.
I’ve learnt to sit down with my self-doubt and look at it in the face. “Why am I feeling this way?” “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” “Would it even matter in five years?” All these are hard questions to ask oneself. Yet, they can put things in perspective. It’s never as bad as we may think. Everything is “figureoutable”.
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Stop comparing yourself to others
One of the worst initiators of self-doubt is comparing ourselves to others. It’s natural to do so, especially in the age of social media. I mean, how can you not compare the glamorous (and largely made-up) pictures on Instagram with your quiet Friday night at home with your family?
I’ve learnt that comparing myself with others is denying my uniqueness. It’s denying that I’m doing the best I can where I’m at, with what I have. It’s violating my own unique purpose. I know this sounds harsh, but it’s a reality.
Life simply happens, and it’s not a race! Stay in your lane, do your best, and keep true to your purpose in life. You’re already amazing!
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Just do it
Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel the weight of self-doubt and deal with it, it’s time to walk the walk. This means that you must do whatever it is that you have decided to do, regardless of the circumstances at hand or the negative voices screaming in your head.
I’ve learnt to put on blinders, shut down social media and distractions, and just work through it. Very often, it doesn’t look anywhere near perfect, but it gets done. The more I do it, the more the self-doubt melts away. It’s not pretty and the process can be downright painful at times. Yet, it’s in those moments when we’re not motivated and still push through, that our best comes out.
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Take care of you
Don’t underestimate the power of self-care to overcome self-doubt. Feeling exhausted, depleted and low energy does nothing to help you be more confident. Instead, take some time to be compassionate towards yourself. Do something nice for yourself as often as you can, even if it’s just reading a book you like or taking a warm bath.
I’ve learnt to keep reminders of things that lift up my spirits. For instance, I keep a list of my favorite and most uplifting Bible verses. I also keep a list of the major accomplishments I’ve done throughout life to remind myself of past victories. Pictures of testimonials from happy clients that I can look at when I’m feeling low always bring a smile on my face too.
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Share it
As strong working women, we may be tempted to keep our vulnerabilities to ourselves. However, there are times when sharing our self-doubt can not only make us feel better. It can also help us learn from someone else, and help them in the process too.
I’ve learnt that pride does not help with overcoming self-doubt. While I don’t necessarily share all my struggles with just anyone, I do have trusted people I confide in. Writing in this blog also warms my heart and helps me in the process.
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Break up with toxic people
There are confidence-suckers out there that will only increase the self-doubt in you. These are people who are experts at making you feel like you cannot do anything right. These toxic people don’t help you become more confident at all. You can tell by the way you feel after interacting with them: unmotivated, low and conflicted in yourself.
I’ve learnt to recognize the confidence suckers in myself and remove them from my life. This doesn’t mean being dramatic or argumentative. However, distancing yourself from those toxic friends and family members who feed your self-doubt can literally save your life. Trust me.
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Let go of expectations
You may not have realized it, but you grew up with sets of expectations about our lives. These are timelines, deadlines and aspirations that were chosen for us before we could even decide. Or it’s simply the need to compare ourselves with others and keep up with the Joneses. My mom always wanted me to be a doctor. If you’re from West Africa, most parents want you to either become a doctor, lawyer or engineer. I became neither.
I’ve learnt to release expectations on my life that don’t align with my God-given purpose. I’ve stopped praying for things that are not for me. I’ve also stopped trying to fit in instead of charting my own path.
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Release the past
In the same way, our pasts often keep us imprisoned in self-doubt. Our past failures, hurts and disappointments stand in the way of us taking risks and living our best lives. Instead of moving forward and trying again, we play it safe, afraid to get hurt.
I’ve learnt to stop letting my past dictate my future. Every time I’m tempted to retreat because of a past mistake or experience, I remind myself that today is another day. As much as I may be scared, I also know that things will work out differently.
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Get inspired!
I love reading inspirational books, articles and posts about people who’ve overcome struggles and achieved their dreams. It may sound cliché, but some things will speak to you in a way that can change your entire life. For me, it’s being inspired by achievers and leader-servants. For you, it may be something entirely different.
I’ve learnt that the right inspiration for you will keep you motivated even when you’re feeling low and unproductive. Whether it’s listening to a podcast, music, watching YouTube videos, or reading a book, pick a source of inspiration to keep self-doubt at bay.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Self-doubt is a normal part of our lives, careers and businesses. However, the better we can manage it, the more we can fight it and build more confidence.
How do you fight your own self-doubt?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 2, 2018 | Career
Being a woman of color at work can be an isolating experience in and of itself. Being “the only one in the room” or one of only a few can have its challenges, from fitting in to being afforded opportunities. It’s also the reason why we need support as we face the obstacles we’re often confronted to.
However, very often as women of color, we’re socialized not to seek help outside of ourselves. We’re supposed to be strong, and to look the part too. We’re supposed to raise families on our own, hold multiple jobs, and withstand difficulties alone. Over time, there’s a pride that has quietly overtaken us as well, whereby we won’t even begin to admit we need help.
Add to this the fact that women of color are at the intersection of racism and sexism, and often the subject of a form of exclusionary brand of feminism excluding them. When you consider how the recent policies can also harm women in general, and women of color in particular, it goes without saying that much support is needed to create safer and more progressive environments for women of color at work.
Here are a few ways you, as a woman of color, can get the support you need to be safe and thriving at work:
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Speak up and share your needs
I remember all the times when I failed to express what I really needed, for fear of being misjudged or worse, rejected. Truth is, an unexpressed need is as good as a non-existent one, especially when stemming from minority groups. This is exactly the reason why it’s important for women of color to speak up and express their needs, in a collaborative and professional way.
Most importantly, what you may need to develop and thrive at work may also be what countless other women of color, and women in general, also need. By expressing it, you’re also liberating others and giving them a voice.
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Tap into your informal networks
It took me years to discover and start tapping into informal networks such as my church’s business network, neighborhood association or other women’s groups. I didn’t realize early enough how powerful sources of support and growth these could be. As I speak to other women of color around me, I’m also realizing that they too have been pleasantly surprised to discover how supportive their own informal networks are. A friend of mine scored multiple business deals through her church network. Another was able to find the job of her dreams through the power of word-of-mouth.
As women of color, we have access to countless informal networks around us. Leveraging these as sources of support, growth and development can provide us with the contacts and influence to grow in our careers.
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Expand your network
Outside of informal networks, other networks are also great opportunities to garner professional and business support. We often underestimate the power of entering new circles, especially as women of color.
However, one of the best ways to overcome our fear of not fitting in is to actually face it head on. This means joining professional and business associations and networks we may not have considered before. It also means willfully committing to investing in our own growth and development though paid networks as well.
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Ask for help
One of the most challenging hurdles I faced in my own career was to simply ask for help. Whether to better understand an unfamiliar area, be mentored or have access to opportunities we desire, having the humility to ask for help can go a long way in getting the support we need.
There may be people around willing to help and support your growth. However, it starts with simply asking. After all, the worst answer you can get is a “No”. When asking for help, remember to come prepared with a plan as to how this support will help you accomplish your goals.
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Reach out to other women of color
One of the reasons why women of color are often isolated in professional settings is because of the lack of collaboration between us. There is a pervasive mindset according to which there is not enough room for all women of color in professional and business settings. As such, many believe that collaboration between us is not recommended.
However, we often overlook the fact that we can be each other’s strongest sources of support and advocates. After all, who better than another woman of color can fully understand their common challenges?
Reaching out to other women of color to create positive support and growth networks is a great opportunity to lessen the challenges we all face.
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Be willing to change your circle
Sometimes, our own circles of influence, whether it be our friends or family members, fail to support us adequately. This also means that in order to grow and thrive professionally, we must be willing to change our environment.
As difficult as it may be, evolving from unsupportive circles to ones that provide you with the support you need may be the best career or business decision you can make.
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Continuously develop yourself
Last but not least, the best way to support yourself as a woman of color at work is to continuously develop yourself. You must be committed to keep growing and educating yourself regardless of the circumstances you may be facing.
Whether it’s by furthering your education, meeting new people or working on your mindset, committing to self-development will always support your growth.
What’s your take on it?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
by Solange Lopes | Jan 2, 2018 | Career
Workwear: Lightweight Down Coat – Photo credit: llbean.com
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
When the temperatures start dipping so low you can see the air you breathe, it’s time to seriously cover up! I love that this LLBean ultralight down coat combines exceptional warmth with a lightweight look and feel. I’m not usually much for puffy down coats, but this one weighs much less than traditional down coats and looks much more fitting too. It’s on sale for $199 at LLBean.
In similar styles, I also like this hooded version, also from LLBean. This belted long down coat from Lands End is also a great choice.
What pieces of workwear would you like us to feature? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
This post contains affiliate links and The Corporate Sister may earn commissions for purchases through links in this post. Thank you!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 2, 2018 | Career
If you ask most working women what their biggest concern is when it comes to thriving in their careers or businesses, the answer can usually be summed up in one word: Productivity. With so much on our plates, it can be a challenge to be as productive as we’d like to be. This is especially true considering all the distractions we now customarily have to face on a daily basis, from social media to unnecessary meetings and last-minute to-do’s.
As a working mom, being more productive is like trying to lose those last five pounds from my first baby. It’s this endless race to do as much as feasible in as little time as possible. The only thing is, it ends up being just that, an exhausting, oftentimes unproductive, race. As a result, we end up chasing the elusive badge of honor of “busy-ness” instead of the fulfillment of true productivity.
Rather than this endless busy race we too often find ourselves in, here are 10 hacks for working women to be more productive at work:
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Plan at least a week ahead
This may sound cliché, but the results are anything but. Planning a week ahead allows you to prepare the resources you need to complete whatever task is on your to-do list. Rather than rushing at the last minute, you can give yourself enough time to tackle your to-do list.
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Hack your mornings
Mornings are a sacred and precious time, especially for busy working women who are always on the go. Hack your mornings by getting up earlier and starting your day before the rest of the world, and their associated distractions, gets up. If you’re not a morning person, start by small increments. The point is to get an early and productive head start.
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Exercise
Exercising is one of the most underrated productivity tools. The more physical exercise you practice, the more mental and physical energy you actually have. It may sound counter-intuitive, but it’s actually true. Schedule some time to exercise daily, even if only 20 minutes, and notice how your productivity increases.
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Prioritize
Rank your tasks in order of priority. Consult with your manager or team to agree on what needs to be completed first, and focus your efforts there. Don’t squander your time and energy trying to do it all when you can knock off the most impactful items on your list instead. The point is not to do it all, it’s to do it well.
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Eliminate distractions
The biggest obstacles to peak productivity consist of the distractions surrounding us. If you happen to have a smartphone, 99% of these distractions are stored in there. From social media apps to texts from friends and family, there virtually exist a gazillion ways out there to take your focus off of what you’re supposed to do.
The easiest, and by far most effective way to limit these distractions, is to eliminate them. This means deleting these apps from your phone, stopping your notifications, and postponing checking your email, among other ways.
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Control your calendar
Don’t let your calendar control you! Instead of leaving it open and at the mercy of unlimited meeting requests, block off the time you need to tackle your priorities. You don’t need to have a meeting scheduled or some other event to block off your calendar. Instead, use your discretion to keep your calendar off-limits.
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Set a strict limit on meetings
Meetings are one of the biggest time suckers at work. Don’t allow these to reduce your productivity though. Instead, set ruthless time limits on any meeting you attend. Keep them to their allotted time too. Make sure to inform the other meeting participants that you will not be able to stay past the scheduled time. If you see the meeting is lasting longer than scheduled, you may even consider excusing yourself.
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Group your interruptions
Interruptions are almost impossible to avoid at work. To limit their negative influence on your productivity, consider grouping them instead. Ask your team members, reports or even managers, to schedule a time with you when you can go over any open items or questions they may have. This way, you don’t have to be constantly interrupted and waste unnecessary time.
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Delegate and outsource
You can’t do everything. More specifically, you can’t do everything that you’re not particularly good at. Take a look at your schedule and consider delegating and/or outsourcing the tasks or chores that are least impactful and are not aligned with your strengths.
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Schedule breaks
Being productive doesn’t mean working tirelessly and endlessly. Instead, the most productive people are also those who periodically stop and take breaks. To ensure that you don’t skip on your breaks, schedule them in your calendar.
What are your best hacks to be more productive at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 30, 2017 | Career
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Cheers!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
by Solange Lopes | Dec 27, 2017 | Career
As women of color, we face unique challenges in the workplace and in business. Being double minorities in work environments in which we are often the “only ones in the room” comes with its share of obstacles. There’s a reason why it is said that women of color face a concrete wall in business.
As a Black woman in Big Corporate, like so many others, I’ve experienced many of these obstacles. Yet, as much as they affect many a woman of color at work, they’re not usually widely shared. My girlfriends and I would discuss these, and even laugh about them at times; but we’d never share them outside of our small group. We were too scared of being misunderstood and adding even more grief to the whole situation. Besides, some of these challenges can be so subtle that it makes it hard to even demonstrate their existence.
Here are 7 unique challenges that women of color face at work day in and day out:
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Being judged according to false stereotypes
The “angry black woman” stereotype is only one of the damaging images used to portray and unfairly judge many a woman of color. Many are the negative ideas that precede women of color before they even enter the room, speak up, or perform at work. It’s because of these very false stereotypes that many retreat in a professional corner, or get extremely defensive.
Being aware of these stereotypes is a hard realization, yet one that is necessary in order to combat them. Unrelenting dedication, commitment, assertiveness, along with a good dose of patience, are also key.
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Playing the advocate to the entire Black race (along with other minorities)
Issa Rae’s hit series Insecure does an amazing job at exposing how women of color, and Black women in particular, are sometimes expected to be representatives of their entire communities. At the non-profit organization she works, Issa is pretty much considered an “urban encyclopedia”. Her best friend, Molly, is the only Black woman associate in her law firm, which prompts one of the senior partners to ask her to speak to one of the new Black interns whose boisterous ways are not aligned with the firm’s culture.
When you’re the only woman of color in your team or department, or one of a only a few, you can quickly become the advocate for the rest of your community. Which means being asked to pass along sensitive messages, like Molly in Insecure, or explain just about anything and everything that has to do with your culture.
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Working twice as hard
Poppa Pope said it right in the hit series Scandal: “You have to be twice as good as them”, when referring to what Olivia Pope would have to do to be successful in her career. Sadly, it’s advice most women of color receive from their childhood on, and have to apply through most of their careers.
How many times have we seen women of color over-studying, overdoing, and outperforming everyone else at work; only to be passed over for promotions or asked to trained someone else they would later report to? As sad and infuriating as it may be, it’s very much a reality for many women of color at work.
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Being the odd woman out
Have you ever found yourself in the midst of environments where you have no cultural references to contribute? For many, if not most women of color, it’s more the norm than the exception.
When you’re the only woman of color, or one of very few women of color in the room, your experiences, culture, entertainment are seldom discussed or shared. Instead, you may find yourself getting relegated to the silent corner. Or, on the opposite end of the odd spectrum, you may be at the end of interesting observations and compliments about your hair, skin, or even body shape. This is not always intentional on the part of colleagues and managers. However, it’s a hard reality that many, if not most women of color, deal with every single day.
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Being at the end of double standards
There are many instances in which women of color are subject to double standards in the workplace. From differences in work expectations and perks to dress codes, these double standards can be as subtle as they can be disheartening.
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Having to do the “voice switch” and other ways of watering ourselves down
If you’re a woman of color at work, you may have had to do the “voice switch” at work. You know that time when you water down your natural voice tone to sound more “professional”. Somehow, hitting the proper “business” tone may contribute to giving more credibility to women of color who are routinely considered unprofessional, from their natural hair to their assumed aggressiveness.
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Being rejected by other women of color
When there is a belief that there are only so many spots available to women of color, it can create an atmosphere of prejudice between them. The same occurs when it’s also believed that these same women may not be competent.
The fear of associating with other women of color and being misjudged keeps many from mentoring and supporting their counterparts. Instead, they opt to stay away.
All in all, being a woman of color is a very unique experience that is seldom shared and discussed for fear of the lack of understanding or judgment that may result. However, it’s important that we start telling the stories that can change the landscape of work for the better. The more we can talk about the obstacles we face, the more we can share tools and find the appropriate solutions.
What unique challenges have you faced as a woman of color at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
