by Solange Lopes | Jun 26, 2017 | Career |
“What would you want someone like me to know about women of color at work?”
When Gregg Stebben, host of Forbes Books Radio, asked me this question as part of my interview during #BlogHer17, something clicked. Here I was, as a working woman of color and entrepreneur, with a mission to start and continue a conversation around providing women with the opportunity to have work and lives they love. Yet, it was apparent that a significant part of the narrative of women of color at work is unknown (or falsely known) to many. Here I was, faced with the confirmation that as women of color at work, we need to tell our stories in order to fuel this conversation.
You know when you know something, and think that everyone else does too? When you believe that the reality of your experience, struggle and identity is obvious to others. Yet, most often, it is not. Most often, the “unconscious bias” in others is fueled in large part by ignorance. There are of course other very much negative factors affecting the way we’re perceived, but by not telling our stories, we’re indirectly reinforcing them.
Our stories are made to be shared. Not just amongst those who are in the midst of them, but among those who may not suspect the intricate tapestry of our lives and work. It’s not until we shed light on the reality of what we face that we can hope to bridge the understanding divide.
I remember on one occasion, a cultural initiative was launched in my then-department to share our origins with the rest of the employees. There was this large world map on the back of a cubicle wall, and every employee was asked to volunteer to pin her/his place of origin. As expected, most pins ended up on the European continent, with a large majority of them resting on Ireland, Italy and England. Then a couple of solitary pins, mine included, floating over Africa…
Conversations started buzzing about each and everyone’s ancestry, and how they found out about their origins, as well as their family traditions and recipes. As the only (or one of the very few) Black women in the room, it felt intimidating to share my own story. Thoughts of being judged based on the inaccurate, yet popular prejudices about Africa, started swirling in my mind. As much as I wanted to share my own stories about rice and fish, traditional holidays, and my favorite family traditions, I remained silent. Instead of continuing the conversation, I waited for a hypothetical invite to partake in the cultural sharing, which never came.
This is an example of one of the many ways in which we sometimes fail to share our stories. Not just for the sake of sharing, or entertainment, but to shed light on facts and figures most often hidden from general view and understanding. To be a part of the ongoing conversation, whether we’re invited or not…
Very often, as women of color, we owe it to ourselves, our fellow women of color, and our communities to make ourselves part of the conversation. There may not be invitations or much encouragement to do so at first. Yet it is our responsibility to spread the knowledge and information without which we may not be understood, acknowledged or recognized.
I’m an immigrant, and my experience is part of the tapestry of the American and world history. It defines my contributions to work and life in general in invaluable ways that can only be recognized and acknowledged when I dare to own my story. In the same way, whether you’re an immigrant, or a first-generation college graduate, or a single mom striving to climb the corporate ladder or create your own business, the invaluable experience you bring to the table is needed. Yet it must be known to be used and make an impact…
“Will it even make a difference to tell my story?”
“Will it not actually hurt my chances at advancement and success to reveal that I’m an immigrant, or a first-time graduate in my family?”
“Does it even make a difference? I can just come in, do my work, get my paycheck and just blend in.”
“It’s safer to wear a mask at work, and pretend all is well and dandy. Who wants to attract unwarranted attention?”
Many are the questions raised to the forefront when it comes to sharing your story as a woman of color at work. We still feel the need to hide a large part of who we are, where we come from, and what we really are about, when the rest of the world uses those very factors as competitive advantages.
I’m learning that there are no real work personas. We take all of us with us everywhere we go. That includes our beliefs, mindsets, origins, and unique life experiences. While we may at times think these may hinder us, or slow our progress, we forget that without authenticity there is no power. At work or anywhere else…
This is not about exposing your dirty (or clean) laundry in the middle of the office floor. Neither is it about revealing private facets of your life or experience you’d rather keep to yourself. Nor is it about resurrecting the past…
It’s about participating in the global conversation around women in and out of work. It’s about showing that there are educated women doctors, engineers, lawyers, finance gurus, entrepreneurs who happen to be first-generation graduates; or were unwed mothers at 18; or come from a family of immigrants with beautiful and original traditions; or have faced discrimination and rose above it; or are creating new paths for other women.
It shouldn’t take a hashtag in response to extreme breaking news for us to share our stories and pictures as brilliant women doctors (or any other profession). We shouldn’t wait for permission, or the perfect opportunity, or for reality to become unbearable, to speak up and share our stories. To show a young girl in high school how a teen mom survived to become a trailblazing entrepreneur. To sit with a young college girl and share our testimonies of starting out in the trenches of Big Corporate and rising through the ranks. To teach, inspire and educate from our unique life experience, beliefs and mindsets. To give other women the freedom to do the same…
There’s a conversation going on around women at work, and as women of color, we must sit at the table. With or without invitation. With or without fear. With or without the perfect opportunity…
How do you share your story as a woman of color at work? If you haven’t, what prevents you from doing so?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jun 24, 2017 | Career
It’s 10:24pm, you’re finishing up the laundry in the middle of the messy living room, struggling to multi-task to also pack for a conference the next day and keep the kids in bed. This is all considering that your flight the next morning is at 6am, and that you’ll have to jump out of bed by 3am to wash those tangled curls you’ve been hiding up in a bun for the past week. This is what I experienced on many occasions preparing for conferences, with limited time, money or energy. While I was excited to go, there were a gazillion things I had to attend to as a working mom on a strict financial, time and energy budget.
There’s something about dealing with constant chaos that teaches you a lot about getting the best out of the little you have at your disposal. Like leveraging whatever financial, time and resources money you’ve got to pull off decent, if not extraordinary results, out of chaotic circumstances.
Whether in your current field or a desired area of interest, it’s no secret that conferences can be instrumental to your career success. From opportunities to network with influential people, to the sheer amount of knowledge you may get, not to mention recharging and re-wiring your brain, there’s definitely a lot you can gain. There’s also quite a bit you should invest in terms of preparation to have a successful time.
However, it can be challenging to garner all the resources you need, whether in time, money or energy to pull off the “right” preparation. After all, who has time to get all their ducks in a row after getting out of work, packing hurriedly, getting the house and kids organized for the next few days, and fixing your ‘fro too?
If like me, you happen to be preparing for conferences with limited time, money and energy, here are a few unconventional, yet practical ways to make the best out of what you’ve got:
Mentally prepare!
I always say everything starts with mindset! From wrapping your mind around the craziness that laundry is for a family of four (including adorable little toddlers with questionable hygiene), to gearing up for a conference that could spell incredible success for your career, life just gets busy! When aligning two thoughts in a row can be challenging, how do you mentally prepare for an upcoming conference when you still have to find clean underwear to pack?
There’s a trick that many professional athletes use before an important game. Close your eyes and visualize yourself having a successful, fun and positive time at this conference. You can do this in between loads of laundry, at the red light (please open your eyes as you drive off), or even during bathroom breaks at work (yes, I’m that woman who stays extra long in the bathroom stall). The more you visualize yourself acing this conference, the more likely you will!
You can also practice meditation and awareness when you start feeling overwhelmed. All you need is a couple of minutes to breathe in and out to calm yourself, and remind yourself that no matter what, you’ve got this!
Handle The Logistics!
There are a few essential logistical pieces to put together before any conference, that you should get out of the way pronto! These include:
- Researching the event: It’s important to know who is hosting the event as well as other events they may have previously hosted, and what they stand for. This will provide your with a general sense of what to expect and what you can bring to the table. Additionally, studying the conference schedule ahead of time and picking the sessions you’d like to attend can cut down on the time you need to acclimate at the conference. Lastly, take a look at the list of attendees and determine which ones you want to connect with. You can even contact them ahead of time to coordinate schedules.
- Plan for being out of office: Get work done ahead of time to lessen the impact of your absence at work. If you’re able to work in between conference sessions, plan for this ahead of time as well. Inform your team well ahead of time and start delegating responsibilities to be handled while you’re out of the office. Also let your clients know that you will either be unavailable or available on a limited basis. Oh, and don’t forget the out-of-office email and voicemail too!
- Get your promotional materials ready: No matter which conference you attend, make sure to have two things ready before you go: your business cards and your elevator pitch. If you don’t have them already, take time to prepare effective business cards (on a budget) with all yours and your business information. Reserve some time to write out an elevator pitch that succinctly but powerfully describes your brand and mission in 60 seconds.
List Up!
My power tool when it comes to preparing for conferences and other important networking events is using lists. I love listing up what I need and have to do ahead of time, so even in the midst of my usual chaos, I have a reference to go back to.
At least two weeks before the conference, have a list handy for everything you need to do before leaving, including researching the event, setting up your out-of-office message, getting your business cards ready, rehearsing your elevator pitch, etc.
My favorite is a packing list. I don’t know about you, but I seem to have a knack for forgetting my toothbrush or spacing out on essentials like body lotion, chargers and lens solutions. No one wants to deal with that woman with the cute ‘fro at the conference who skipped her tooth-brushing session, could not see the screen because: dry lenses, and showed up ashier than the Sahara desert…Seriously!
If I don’t do anything else, at the very least I jot down a packing list on some random Post-It note. It’s saved me many headaches at 3am trying to pack at the last minute. You can thank me later for good breath too…
A girlfriend of mine also makes lists of all the contacts she hopes to network with, as well as a detailed inventory of the questions she plans on asking, places to visit, and logistical details to remember. That’s why she’s my conference buddy, of course!
More is less stress!
Not sure whether to take the pink skirt or the black sheath dress? Well, take both….I know what is said about strategizing what to pack for conferences and networking events. Yet to reduce the stress of not having what you need on hand when you need, take a few inter-changeable options with you.
I wouldn’t take your entire wardrobe with you, as tempting as it may be. Just offer yourself a few options, in case the weather changes or you have a few good lunches.
Prioritize comfort!
This is coming from the woman who would only pack five-inch heels and slightly restrictive clothing to conferences. Fast-forward a few conferences, less forgiving calves and a dash of spiritual awakening, things are slightly different…
Whether you’re attending a conference for work or pleasure, there’s a great deal of focus, concentration and presence needed. Especially when attending for work, you need all the mental and physical energy you can muster, and this after packing, traveling, and being outside of your comfort zone. Being comfortable makes all the difference between enjoying the experience and soaking in all you can, versus barely making it through.
This may mean shorter heels, more flowy clothing, and a more open mindset for some. For others, it may be a matter of focusing on what really matters and prioritizing self-care. Whatever comfort means to you, consider including it in your list of non-negotiables when it comes to attending conferences.
Practice self-care!
One thing that’s seldom talked about on the topic of attending conferences is practicing self-care. Conferences and larger-scale networking events in general require a great deal of energy, time and focus. At times, they can be downright exhausting! In between absorbing new concepts, meeting new people, and acclimating to a different environment for a few days, these can be an exercise in self-depletion.
That’s why it’s extremely important to include self-care as part of your conference checklist. I recently attended the BlogHer17 conference, during which each day started with a meditation exercise for all the conference attendees. Led by a spiritual teacher, the whole audience practiced focused breathing for about five minutes before delving into the conference program.
Whether it’s a bonus massage, conscious breathing, sleeping a bit later, or just taking a breather every so often, consider adding self-care in your conference checklist.
Relinquish (some) control!
When it comes to attending a conference, there are some things you can control, like your agenda, your goals, or even how many drinks you’ll be having after-hours. However, there’s always an element of unknown, as with most life events.
As professional and rigid that some of the conferences you attend may be, be willing to relinquish some control and open yourself to the unexpected. That means networking with someone from a different industry, chatting with the hotel concierge (and getting valuable insider information), or stepping out on faith and seizing an impromptu opportunity.
In Conclusion:
- Mentally prepare before and during a conference!
- Handle the logistics!
- Use lists as your power prep tools!
- Reduce stress by offering yourself a few options when packing and prepping
- Prioritize comfort!
- Practice self-care!
- Relinquish (some) control
What else would you add to this list?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jun 13, 2017 | Career
Woven shirtdress- Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Our Wear to Work feature showcases workwear pieces in various styles and price ranges. Please note this post contains affiliates links.
Don’t you just love a white dress in the summer? Especially when it combines class with some surprising details in this Mossimo cinched waist woven shirtdress from Target. I love the easy fit of this short-sleeve dress, with its mesh collar, lace inset and toggles which elevate its style. Perfect for summer at the office, especially at its $29.99 price point!
In a similar style, I also like this Michael Kors high-low shirtdress from Neiman Marcus. Oh, and this timeless gingham sleeveless Eliza J number from Nordstrom too!
Seen any piece you’d like us to feature? Email corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
In Style and Success,
The Corporate Sis.
