There is no doubt that mentorship is invaluable for working women. As a matter of fact, it’s good for everyone, especially considering that  not only can it provide working women with the appropriate resources, tools, and networking opportunities to thrive at work; but it also grants them access to rooms that would otherwise be closed off to them. However, finding a mentor, and finding the right mentor at that, can be challenging for women.

In light of the recent #MeToo movement, an increasing number of men are admitting to being uncomfortable mentoring women. This adds to the pressure that many women face, as mentorship has been traditionally reserved to men. Not to mention the false view that there can only be so many women at the top.

I know as a woman of color at work, finding the right mentors has been a valuable learning experience. I’ve definitely taken away some precious lessons from it, which have changed my perspective when it comes to mentoring for women.

If you’re looking for the right mentor for you as a working woman, here are 7 steps you may want to consider:

1. Get clear on your WHY

While you may be looking for a mentor to help you on your career path, it’s important to clarify what you need help with. Most likely, your potential mentor is a busy individual who only has a limited amount of time, energy and resources. In order to leverage these as efficiently as possible, you may want to get as clear as possibly as to why you need their help.

It starts with asking yourself what your career or business interests are. What drives you? What motivates you? What are your career and/or business goals? With a sense of where you are headed professionally or in business, it’s easier, and more rewarding, for a mentor to help you.

2. Shop Around

There are many aspects to consider when looking for the right mentor for you. You can start with writing down a list of the people who inspire you professionally and in business, and whom you’d like to emulate. These may be people you identify with, or who may have a career or business path you aspire to.

Look around your team, department or organization to identify potential mentors. Ask your manager or co-workers for recommendations as to people who could serve you well as mentors. Yet, don’t limit yourself to your direct environment. You can scour platforms such as Linked In to identify individuals in industries or sectors you look to get into as well. Remember that you can have virtual as well as physical mentors. I didn’t meet one of my mentors until we were over a year into our relationship, as we live in two different states. It’s ok to have a long-distance mentor-mentee relationship.

In the same token, don’t discount the simple fact of following people who influence you as a great source of mentorship. You may not be able to get in touch with Oprah, but you can still be inspired by and learn from her.

3. Pick selectively

Understand that picking a mentor is a serious decision that can have long-term impact. Hence, the need to selectively pick the best mentor for you. You may think that he/she is doing you a favor to serve as a resource to your career or business, which is true. However, being in a mentor-mentee relationship also requires you to be positively involved. As such, you don’t just want to pick someone you admire; but also someone you can trust, whose personality is compatible with yours, and who is also available.

4. Refine your Ask

My very first mentor started our first meeting with this question: “What can I do for you?” At the time, I was unsure about what it meant to have a mentor. As you pick one, it will be crucial to refine your ask. This goes hand in hand with clarifying your why.

How can this mentor help you? What are you looking to learn from them? Which areas of your career or business are you looking for help in? What goals are you looking to achieve? These questions will help you narrow down your ask and identify areas that your mentor can help you in.

5. Assess your compatibility

Picking the right mentor for you also means picking someone you can entertain a positive and fruitful relationship with. You will have to carefully assess whether your personalities are compatible, and you can actually communicate well.

While you may think that you may not necessarily have a say in picking a mentor, you actually do. Many companies will assign you a mentor, in which case your options may be limited. However, even in those instances, you may be able to diplomatically seek a different mentor.

6. Know that it’s a give and take relationship

One of the biggest misconceptions about mentorship is that it’s a one-way relationship. Many are under the impression that it is solely the responsibility of the mentor to provide help, resources and assistance to the mentee.

However, as in any relationship, there has to be a flow and exchange of resources. As a mentee, you also have to provide the willingness, follow-through and accountability needed to make it a successful relationship. When in doubt, ask your mentor how you can positively contribute to your relationship and what their expectations are.

7. Nurture the relationship

As mentioned earlier, mentorship is not just a professional exchange. It’s a personal relationship that requires frequent nurturing. As you find the right mentor for you, you also have to be prepared for regular meetings and frequent exchanges.

Entering this relationship with a clear intent of nurturing it will help you connect with the best mentors for you.

How did you find the right mentor for you?

To Your Success,

The Corporate Sis.