Have you ever noticed how even with the best of intentions and incredible amounts of willpower, you may still not be reaching your goals? Have you over-exerted yourself over and over again, only to end up so far from your objectives that you lost all motivation? Do you often wonder what else you have to do to push through your blocks, eliminate your distractions and finally get things done? I asked myself these same questions too many times to count. I know I’m not the only one…until I realized that it was not so much what I was doing, as opposed to how I was thinking. While I was so absorbed in “doing”, I forgot that my thinking played an even bigger role in the direction of my life and career, and that ultimately, it’s really “mind over matter”…
You may be the most motivated person around. Yet, if you keep having thoughts of self-doubt, powerlessness and ineffectiveness, you may just be wasting your time, energy and efforts. Even when you achieve your most important goals and objectives, you may end up running out of stamina and be unable to keep your efforts consistent. You may fall prey to distractions (as you catch yourself scrolling through Instagram), procrastinate, or simply talk yourself out of your best opportunities, all because of your mindset and the way you think.
As women especially, we tend to be socialized around negative thought patterns about who we are and what we do, at work and in life. From being forced to shatter the glass ceiling to fighting for equal rights in other areas of work and life, it can be easy (and tempting) to give in to negative mindsets and block any progress.
As I struggled with my own negative mindset patterns, here are a few things I learned about having a “mind over matter” mindset:
Dress up your mindÂ
If you know me, you know I love dressing up. I’m also West African, which means I follow a long tradition of African elegance. It also means being over the top every now and then, but I digress…My point is, very often, we worry about dressing up the outside without thinking about the impact our minds have on our lives. What if we dressed up our minds with the same care and attention we use to dress ourselves up? What if, instead of dwelling in negativity, procrastination and ineffectiveness, we chose instead to put on our best mindset to tackle our goals on a daily basis?
I’ve learnt that in order to master one’s mindset, you need to work at dressing it up in the best way you can. You need to actually put positive thoughts on, practice regular mindset routines, oh….and get off Instagram too!
Be aware of your thoughts
It’s one thing to dress your mind up, repeat one hundred affirmations before 8am, and be ready to take on the world mentally! It’s another to actually be aware of your own thoughts and the negative patterns that may be preventing you from being your best self.
I’ve learnt to pay attention to my own thought patterns by recognizing them first. What are the self-defeating thoughts and patterns you need to be aware of?
Watch your surroundingsÂ
The environment you’re in plays a large role in the way you think. It took me a long time to understand that we absorb energies around us, especially as introverts and empaths. As women especially, we’re often in positions where we care for those around us, from our families to our co-workers. This is great if you happen to be in positive, supportive and fulfilling environments.
However, if you happen to be in negative, toxic and even damaging environments, it can single-handedly thwart your growth and progress. As a matter of fact, such surroundings can even make you sick. As you look around you, are your surroundings keeping you from being your best self?
Understanding the importance that my mindset plays in my life changed it for the better. It can be very easy to let your thoughts run wild and lose control over many, if not most, areas of your life. Yet, with the same care that we put in getting dressed up for applying our makeup on, we can change the course of our entire life and work.
