Growing up in a single-parent household led by a single mom, my family wasn’t exactly wealthy. We had food on the table, and in many ways, I was very fortunate to be given a wonderful education and opportunities. However, when it came to money, the underlying messages were clear: “We need to be very careful about money” and “There’s never enough money!”
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As for me, this cautionary message turned into a scarcity mindset that made me fearful of never having enough money for the longest time. There was no amount of savings that would be enough. To say that I became financially conservative and risk-adverse was an understatement, despite my past (pretty serious) shoe and cheese collector habits.
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You may also be facing constant money worries, even if your financial situation is stable. Or you may be living paycheck to paycheck, praying to the gods of Visa and Mastercard every time you tender your debit or credit card. Better yet, you may be holding on to a job you hate, or delaying your career and life dreams, as a result of your money fears.
It took me a long time to even begin detaching from my financial fears, and actually stop compulsively looking at every price tag. It’s still a process, one through which I’ve learnt to be more financially confident. In turn, it has actually helped me set up a better financial foundation, despite (or maybe as a result of) taking more risks, being more fulfilled, and being less obsessed with price tags.
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If you’re dealing with financial fears, whether you’re compulsively checking your bank accounts, staring at your lofty balances, or incurring overdraft fee after overdraft fee, there are a few steps you can take:
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Ditch the scarcity mindset
The most important money lesson I’ve learnt over time is that money is first and foremost a mindset! Not a bank balance, a budget, or even the sum of your net worth. It’s how you think about yourself, and what you’re allowing yourself to possess and enjoy!
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One of the books that started my mindset shift when it comes to money is “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. What it taught me is to stop thinking in terms of scarcity and instead adopt a mindset of abundance and openness to the infinite possibilities that surround us. Before you start thinking this is all woo-woo theory, consider the types of expenses you incur when you’re in a negative mindset as opposed to a positive one. Do you see how a simple shift of your thoughts can help you attract better opportunities while making less financial mistakes?
Ask yourself if you’ve been having a scarcity mindset. Do you feel like you can never have enough money? Have you watched your parents struggle with money and as a result, believed that you also would struggle with money? Do you not consider yourself worthy to deserve and have everything you desire? If so, you may be suffering, like I was, of acute “Scarcity Mindset” syndrome. Thankfully, it can be cured.
Start with simple thoughts and affirmations of abundance, such as: “Money comes to me easily”. Start believing that with hard work, dedication and faith, you can have as much money as you need and beyond. And watch your money fears diminish and pretty soon stop, being instead replaced with more confidence in your financial future.
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Re-evaluate your budget
Your budget is a like a compass for your financial health. It helps you understand and pick the right direction to take in your financial journey. However, many times, we fail to have realistic budgets that reflect who we are and how we live, as opposed to how others want us to live.
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You can follow a gazillion finance gurus, read a million money blogs, and have the best budgeting apps on your smartphone. If your budget is not realistic enough to paint a picture of what your life really is and where you intend to take it, you’re wasting your time.
Instead of building hypothetical budgets, be as honest as possible about what your expenses and revenues look like. I used to build budgets that reflected my own financial fears and worries, in which I would underestimate my expenses and overestimate my savings. The result? Added stress and frustration, in addition to hardly ever meeting my financial goals. Today, I have what I call a “real” budget. It’s simpler, more efficient, but also more honest.
Take a look at your budget and ask yourself if it really represents your personality and lifestyle. If it doesn’t, it’s ok to scratch it and start fresh. From an honest and authentic foundation, you can re-direct it towards what you really want out of your finances.
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Live below your means
Most millionaires (at least those who stand a chance to remain so) live below their means. Warren Buffett is said to drive the same car for years, and has lived in the same house for the longest time. In a society where the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and social media comparisons rage among us, we can be tempted to book the latest hot vacation spot, buy the fancy car, or score the best name brands. Which in turn digs our financial graves deeper and deeper…
Although I was struggling with a scarcity mindset earlier on, there was a time when I still wanted the latest, most fashionable things. Despite being able to afford them, what I didn’t realize then was that every time I allocated money on a high-ticket item, I also missed out on opportunities to save and invest for the future.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t splurge and treat yo’self every now and then. However, living below your means gives you the option of leveraging the accumulation factor. This is where you accumulate your savings, investments, and other financial safeguards to help you and your family afford the lifestyle you want in the short and long-term. Besides, I’d rather sleep well at night knowing I have coins in the bank in case of emergency, than live fearful of anything dreadful happening.
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Meet with a financial advisor
When I made the decision to meet with a financial advisor to discuss my short and long-term financial goals, I was a bit skeptical. However, I knew enough to know that the more you can get professional financial advice, the better off you’ll be. The meeting did not disappoint. I was fortunate to deal with an extremely knowledgeable and kind-hearted individual, which also helped.
Yet, what I valued most was the amazing knowledge and power this gave me over my finances. There are so many options that most of us don’t realize and avail ourselves of for lack of education in certain areas. It’s normal, since we’re not experts in every field.
Consulting with a financial advisor helped me get an honest and clear picture of my financial situation, goals, and possibilities. As I continue on this journey, it’s also opening up a wealth of options as to how I can better manage my money and resources to afford a lifestyle that fulfills my family and I. Besides, it’s a great way to put your financial worries aside and instead have a plan to tackle your financial present and future.
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Make a long-term plan
It’s one thing to have a few months’ savings for emergencies. It’s another to think about what you want your life to look like in the next five or ten years, or even after retirement. How about what would happen to your family and loved ones if you were to suddenly disappear? What would occur if you or your spouse were hurt or unable to work? These are all difficult questions to ponder. It’s also why most of us avoid thinking about them. That is, until something irreversible occurs…
One of the events of my youth that marked me the most was the disappearance of my grand-parents on both sides of my family. Their passing not only brought pain to our families, but also great financial worries due to lack of adequate advance planning. I never knew the details, yet I could sense the distance and grief this created.
As you’re thinking about money, have you thought about making a long-term plan? Have you considered life insurance, possibly a will, and other financial arrangements that would set a secure financial foundation for yourself and your loved ones? While these can be daunting to think about, they can also help ease your financial concerns as you commit to building a solid financial base for you and yours.
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Give your money a purpose
You know what they say, that “money is the root of all evil”. Right? Wrong! Money is only evil if used for the wrong purpose. When used for legitimate reasons, it can actually be a source of positive impact in your life and others’. With the right purpose, your money can help you accomplish your dreams, live the lifestyle you desire, and help others do the same.
Yet it starts with giving your coins a WHY! This is a personal process that begins with understanding yourself and what you’re about. What is the WHY behind your money? Is it to build a legacy, care for your children, assure your retirement? It can be a medley of various reasons and motives, which is more than ok. However, being clear about it can make the difference between not having a strategy for your money, and moving intentionally and clearly forward with your financial goals.
As for me, I like security and being able to say yes to my family when financial needs arise. Building a legacy and leaving a fruitful financial basis for my loved ones is part of my goals. What are yours?
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Relax! It’s going to be ok
Last but not least, be kind to yourself. When it comes to money, we all have some level or another of financial concerns. None of us can predict what’s going to happen tomorrow. The market can crash, we can incur losses, and we may be out of a job. Or all three combined, all at once, as you also deal with a sudden onset of teenage acne in our 30’s.
Life simply happens, and it also goes on. Which means that since we’ll never have 100% control over circumstances and events, we might as well take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Money matters, but it’s not everything.
Make a plan, do your best, and enjoy the things that truly matter in life. For me, it’s my relationship with God, my family and loved ones, my work, people in general, and a good Brie on some delicious, hot French bread! What matters to you, and how can money help you create the lifestyle you desire?
Bonus tip: Surround yourself with like-minded people
You truly are the sum of the people you surround yourself with, especially when it comes to your money. If your four friends are broke and living paycheck to paycheck, chances are you’re well on your way to becoming the fifth. Which also means you must be careful who you hang around with.
This is not about being or feeling better than anyone else. Rather it’s about seeking to improve yourself, starting with your relationships. Look around you. Who are your friends and acquaintances? Do you share money goals, or any goals in general? Can they help you better your financial situation? Can you help them? What do you talk about when you’re together? Relationships are supposed to make us better, in all areas of our lives. If they’re setting us back, they it may be time to re-consider.
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All in all, your financial worries or concerns don’t make you an exception. Neither do they make you a victim. However, they’re a strong reminder to take charge of your financial situation, while still reminding yourself what your priorities and your WHY are. Aligning your money with who you are and what you desire is the most powerful way to increase your net worth and create the life and work you deserve! So why not get started today?
Now your turn: How do you face your financial fears?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
