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“Can you go get that file?” “Do you mind getting the coffee?” “Could you make these copies?” Many of us corporate sisters, if not most of us, have been in these uncomfortable at best, unnerving at most, situations when as the only woman in the room, or one of the only women in the room, we were made to wear the “secretary hat”. You know, when you get that sense that you are expected to be more of a nurturer than an actual equal collaborator…
Women have long been put in the caretaker category, and it’s no surprise that in a male-dominated workplace, the perceptions and stereotypes are no different. And for double minorities such as Black women professionals (shouldn’t that even be considered a triple minority), the stereotype is all the more potent as it actually gets acted upon.
All of a sudden, here you are standing at the copy machine making copies for everyone else as the meeting is in session. Or lugging heavy binders back and forth to accommodate everyone else. As much as we must all be of service in our individual capacities at work and everywhere else, some boundaries still have to be established between what can be considered “service” and what actually goes beyond it…
In order to set a different path for ourselves and trump the stereotypes and negative perceptions associated with sisters in the corporate world, we must first have the courage to take our secretary’s hats off! We need to be able to step out of the caregiver and nurturer mentality to take our place at the meeting table. And we must learn to recognize the dangerous signs alerting us that we are not being allowed to fulfill our professional duties.
So how do we react to this? Do we just say no? Do we resort to anger and carry around hurt feelings? Do we repress these very same feelings and opt out of the conversation altogether?
Many are the alternatives, few are the effective ones…What remains at the end of the day is that there is always a possibility to stand up for oneself in all situations, with professionalism and grace.
Whether it’s through the use of humor, or by gently suggesting that another team member helps carry out the impromptu assigned “secretarial” duty, or even by bringing the matter up to Human Resources if the noted pattern worsens over time, there are ways to bring much-needed attention to this problem. And by doing so, to teach others the boundaries between the acceptable and…well, the lines that should not be crossed…
Leadership is about being able to wear very many different hats, but it’s also about having the courage to take off those hats that do not fit us…And this may just be one…

The Corporate Sister.