by Solange Lopes | May 11, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
This post is part of a Working Mom series run by The Corporate Sister in honor of Mother’ Day.
Listen, if there ever were the equivalent of “Alcoholic Anonymous” for Chronically Late Working Moms, I’d be right there. On the front row, with that “guilty as charged” look all over my late face….Or I’d probably be running late to my “Chronically Late Anonymous” meeting too, trying to make up plausible excuses for being late to the late people meeting…All around too little too late…
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To be honest, motherhood didn’t really saddle me with my Chronically Late Syndrome. There was simply a transfer from horribly late teen, to seriously behind college student, to young women addicted to being late. And now, I was that mom who begged the school superintendent to spare her kids yet another late ticket because after all, the bell only rang 10 minutes ago…
As much as my case may warrant professional treatment, I’m far from being alone. Ask any working mom around if there’s one thing she’ll trade her favorite pair of heels, ice cream flavor and most flattering bra for, and you’ll most likely hear: Time! You know, that precious commodity that becomes even more precious than money or anti-aging cream after you give birth to one or a few little humans who seem to require all your extra time and energy.
I never thought I’d ever say I’d rather have extra time than my very own, very lavish personal shoe closet a la Carrie Bradshaw. But when you have to beg for a few minutes of silence as you focus on your bodily functions while sitting on the throne in the unwelcome company of little people asking for snacks, you know how crucial time is…
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After losing, wasting, and crying over spilled milk time over and over again (plus more than my share of missed doctors’ appointments, late fees and other time-related annoyances), I had to bow down to the gods of time management. After too many silently condemning looks from the kids’ teachers after we officially beat the lateness record for the entire grade, rushing out to the car without the car keys, and running so late I forgot about the buttons on my buttoned-down shirt, I decided it may be time for a change.
So for all my fellow Chronically Late Working Moms, or if you just want more time to hear your thoughts, here are some ways to actually create more time out of our busy schedules:
I know, this is a process, like getting over the fact we’ll never marry Denzel or have Gabrielle Union’s perfect skin! I was so conditioned to making to-do lists I started turning the kids into lists of deliverables with specific deadlines…There’s just something about laying down all these mini-goals and crossing them off the page with a loud sigh of victory and a delish chocolate reward…
But really, all these lists do is stress the heck out of us, taking us even further from Gabrielle Union’s perfect skin, so let’s ditch the to-do list! Besides, there’s always something to add to the list, which ends us never ending anyways.
That’s where the “Urgent/Not Urgent’ system comes in. Translation: if it’s not life-changing, life-altering, or doesn’t violate any law, it isn’t urgent and can wait.
Too simplistic! Maybe, but it at least allows you to sort in between what must be done now and what, like that pile of laundry from last Tuesday, can wait…
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Ever heard about the 80/20 rule? Aka the Pareto principle? This seemingly complex concept only states that 80% of our results come from 20% of our work. Just like 80% of the world’s wealth is distributed among 20% of the population…Now it’s just a matter of finding them and marrying them, but I digress…
So ask yourself this question: “ What’s the #1 thing you can do that will have the most impact?”
Ok, do that first.
Then what’s the #2 thing you can do with the most impact. Then do that next.
As a general rule, start with the toughest task. Some may argue that it’s pretty discouraging, but at the same time, it allows for more progress and peace of mind. How’s that for efficiency?
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Invest in rest and exercise
Ok, I have to admit, I’m the first one to which this rule applies. When it comes to rest and exercise, I’m a case study in need for improvement to happen.
But here’s the thing, the same way you invest your money in stocks, bonds or real estate, investing your money in actually taking care of that body and mind of yours can reap the best rewards over time. And no, I’m not talking about investing your haard-earned cash on the latest waterproof mascara and HD foundation at Sephora. Although, you know…
So I’m learning to actually set aside time for rest (think: go to bed early instead of watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta on repeat, so you can get up early), and exercise. The more you put in, the more you reap in terms of energy, clarity, and efficiency. Which also means the more you can do with your time…
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You’ve heard this before: “No is a complete sentence”. Some folks will never get it, but you actually don’t have to save the world, answer every phone call, and text everyone back. You can just say “No”, and save yourself some time to invest in YOU. Yup, just like that…
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So tell me, how will you be creating more time as a working mom?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
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by Solange Lopes | Apr 26, 2017 | Start Your Business, Working Mom & Woman Tips
This post is part of a Working Mom series run by The Corporate Sister in honor of Mother’ Day.
So you thought this entrepreneur thing would be all glitz and glam? That you’d finally get a full 8 hours of sleep while running your empire and keeping up with your weekly facials? The life of a successful, thriving mompreneur sporting slick hair, an impeccable manicure and the latest Louboutins…
Fast-forward into the (real) entrepreneurial world, and here you are, broken nails, hanging over the dinner casserole as you’re about to drop your cell phone in the pan while yelling at your nightmarish customer… Did you just get that mental picture? Yes, it’s that of a successful mompreneur juggling kids, dinnertime, broken nails, and a hopefully growing empire…
Truth is, I no longer want to hear about entrepreneurship as this safe haven for all our childhood dreams…Especially as a tired mom who can’t seem to convince my youngest to abide to daily showering for cleanliness’s sake, or get my primer to actually keep the doggone makeup on for more than a couple hours…
The reality is that for most mompreneurs out there, glitz and glam are as elusive as shaving every week (especially in the winter). Unless you’ve reached mogul status, in which case you still have to bribe your kids not to pull your fancy earrings or drop tapioca pudding in your Victoria’s Secret fine bra, you’re struggling…
You’re struggling to get everybody in and out of the shower with clean teeth and semi-clean bodies (trust me, there is no foolproof way of checking every one of the little body crevices). You’re struggling to type the next blog post while dear daughter is painting your toe nails with kiddie nail polish. And you’re struggling to finish that client project when everyone else in the house is snoring, and your eyes are arguing with you to shut down once and for all (and you know the suckers will win)…
Nothing against “dad-preneurs”, or “male-preneurs” everywhere, but there’s something about putting together two life missions like motherhood and entrepreneurship/following your calling/heeding the call that makes it a unique and oh so demanding combination…It’s not like you can clock out at 5pm, shut off that”work” compartment and go have “family time”…
If you’re an entrepreneur, you’re breathing entrepreneurship. And if you’re a mom, you’re breathing motherhood…If you’re both, you’re constantly catching your breath as you’re running from one demand to the other…No bathroom breaks here…
What I’ve learnt about being an air-deprived mompreneur with toes painted with kiddie nail polish can be summarized in three easy bullet points (because there’s no time for more, really):
Let’s start with a quick reality check…There’s something about entrepreneurship that has this “never finished” quality. Which means the whole glamorous side of it, including sitting at a well-organized desk, surrounded by positive affirmations and healthy lemon water? Not so much. It’s the stuff of well-lit Instagram posts that aim to convince you that being a mompreneur is so seductive…
Instead, what you really may deal with may range from not having time to shower, and taking client calls while holding the baby in one arm and stirring the dinner pot with the other. Because entrepreneurship is not just a job, it’s a lifestyle, unlike traditional 9-to-5 that can be left behind after hours. And for moms, it happens to add onto an already packed schedule.
After the glum first reality check, let’s add that it does get easier. The biggest hurdle as to being a mompreneur is setting a more or less flexible schedule to adhere to on a daily basis. And that requires time to fine-tune all your obligations, appointments and to-do’s into a somewhat harmonized day, all the while managing to get decent sleep and comb your hair every now and again…
The part when it gets easier is when you get better at planning your days, making room for the unexpected, and making peace with not hitting all your goals all the time. Oh, and rewarding yourself too for all those times you make it to the finish line with the same shoes on each foot…
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You get better all around!
Did I mention being a mompreneur is a lifestyle all in itself? Which also means it requires you to integrate all the different parts of your life into a coherent whole, while making sure everyone’s fed, bathed, dressed and not left behind…
The great thing about going through the hardships of being a mompreneur is that these teach you invaluable tools to manage chaos. This means you get mentally tougher, you execute better, and you learn to discern the priorities from the not-so-important stuff.
Does it all come at once? Certainly not. It’s going to be a long-term trial-and-error type of thing. But in the end, or as you joyfully spring somewhere towards the light at the end of the tunnel, it all becomes clearer. What matters, what does not, and what really needs to go…And that’s the gift!
What has been your reality as a mompreneur?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
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by Solange Lopes | Apr 11, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
You know the drill…Spring break’s knocking on your working parent’s busy mind, and you start to (slightly) panic. Ok, maybe not you, the overachieving working mom over there who’s got your kids’ schedule down to the last second…But for the rest of us, aka me, myself and I, remembering that it’s violin day and which lunch bag goes into which backpack is stretching my overactive neurons enough. Never mind coming up with entertaining ideas for an entire week to keep two kids under 10 active making memories and hopefully having something, anything, to tell their class when they go back to school…
I mean, the Spring Break struggle is real! We’ve gone from the usual museum and park visits to literally being pressured to come up with innovative schemes to keep kids (and other fellow parents) on their toes. The whole thing has turned into a parental production, what with social media hyping up your fellow (and craftier) parents’ exploits at planning the perfect Spring break and all…
And here comes the less crafty, slightly planning-adverse, and thriftier mom…May we add she may not have had time to make reservations months in advance, or figured out what snacks are best to pack or what the weather will be in two weeks…
So for all the busy working parents out there who may not have their kids’ schedules pre-planned five weeks in advance, or who may just realizing Spring break is actually starting in a few days (it happens), here are some quick tips on pulling off a break to remember (in addition to scoring your kids’ gratitude forever, plus a few social media likes too):
Schedule It!
I know, I know, the whole point is not to add more to our to-do lists, right? Well, when it comes to kids being on break, being spontaneous and carefree is certainly great! Except when it takes the whole day to get out of the house, find the keys, you know, the regular stuff…But it pays to have somewhat of a routine in place, especially during breaks!
For us, it means scheduling the day ahead of time and making it fun by having the kids participate. While it makes them feel empowered and in charge (somewhat), it takes away the drudgery of planning, in addition to giving the parents a creativity break. You know…
We like to move it, move it!
The worst Spring break, or any break for that matter, sin is not to move. End result: kids going stir-crazy and driving you to open that bottle of rose earlier than expected! So think activities that make the little people move while learning something in the process! Apparently, activities that involve moving also help with retaining information and reading comprehension. Whether it’s outdoor gallery walks when the weather’s nice, or indoor kids’ museums for more weather-inclement days, pick activities that help everyone move!
When in doubt, spend time in the kitchen!
Listen, there are days when you just don’t know what other museum to visit, or arts and crafts to pull out your tired sleeve. And if there’s one activity that needs to get done, unless everyone’s trying to go on the no-food diet, it’s cooking!
For us, it means involving the kids with dinner. While it can be a process, and a hot mess to boot, it’s a great way to bond. Plus the perfect opportunity to have them brush up on their maths and reading skills, because you know, ain’t nobody ruining dinner because they can’t measure ingredients. ‘Nuff said…
Hello Memories!
Look, we do want some credit for letting the kids destroy the kitchen, and have us run through the Children’s Museum like we didn’t just let our gym membership slide for the past year…So catch a break by having the kids create their own memories of Spring Break. Whether it’s journaling, doing arts and crafts, or recording their favorite moments, allow them to use their creative juices to make mementos.
And for the non-crafty moms like myself, it’s a great opportunity to sit down somewhere and catch your breath…
The (relaxing) truth is in the dirt!
Here’s a revelation for all Type-A moms who have a personal issue with dirt. Make friends with it, fast! Some of the best Spring break activities and memories are build around…dirt and mess! Whether it’s finger painting, sand playing, or other dirt involving devices, one surefire way to keep the kids occupied (and happy) during breaks is to let them get their hands dirty..
Besides, sensory experiences are known to help correct right and left brain imbalances. So there, a scientific reason to let dirt prevail (somewhat)…
What other suggestions do you have to keep kids busy on Spring Break?
The Corporate Sis.
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by Solange Lopes | Apr 3, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
So it happened! The cup tipped over, and the coffee spilled all over my ol’ faithful Mac. I mean, all over…Right in the middle of my article! I was having a good morning too…And right there, in front of my horrified eyes, the screen sputters, and goes black…Worst nightmare!
And of course, I wasn’t prepared… Who’s ever prepared anyways? It also seems to happen when none of your data is backed up, when you’ve forgotten about the cloud, and when you have that client thing due like…tomorrow!
And when you combine lack of preparedness with lack of tech savvy, plus a serious high level of impatience and having to pick up he kids in the next hour, the end result can spell disaster!
How after weathering the loss of my ok’ faithful and contemplating the possibily of losing every family pic and word from the last 5 years or so, here are a few lessons learned from the depths of No Tech Land:
Avoid tech disaster but be ready for it!
Ok I didn’t mean to sound that gloomy… but really! If you don’t have your stuff already backed up on a regular basis, start now! Find the cloud, or some memory device, and back up your data regularly!
Research what to do when disaster strikes!
“Did you flip the laptop when it all happened so the water would not seep into the circuit board?”
“I hope you didn’t keep turning it on after the laptop went off, it would create a short-circuit!”
Great, everyone was telling me what I should have done after I really needed the info. Of course, I didn’t flip the laptop upside down, or unplugged it and refrained from turning it on for some time. No, what I did was frantically turning it on while cleaning it with a towel (thus allowing all the coffee to seep deeper into it)…I mean, how was I supposed to know?
So long story short, take some time to read up on what you’re supposed to do (and not do) when tech disaster strikes! Or ask around, or at least attempt to know what not to do if you spill coffee on your laptop, or drop it from the kitchen table…
Breathe and stay calm!
If you only use your laptop to pay the bills or play around online, tech disaster may hurt but not as much as if you’re an entrepreneur and your whole life/income is saved on it! Truth be told, I failed miserably at this…Instead of remaining calm, cool and composed, of course, I freaked out, frantically hitting the start button on my laptop…
Lesson learned: instead of panicking, accept the situation for what it is. You can’t go back in time, so take a deep breath…
Contact higher-ups, clients and anyone else relying on your work
If anyone is relying on you to submit any work/documentation/files that require you to have use of your laptop, contact them first! As soon as you can text, call or contact supervisors, bosses, professors, clients, etc, please do so and inform them of the situation.
Providing an early heads up will help smooth things out, and buying the time you need to address the situation.
Find other alternatives!
Being out of a computer is no reason to slack off! Make use of other resources, such as asking for a loaner for instance. If you’re a freelancer or entrepreneur, find the closest library and use it for free! You can also opt to split your time between the library and your office, if you happen to be a corporatepreneur.
Accept the help of others as well! Your friends and family may offer to lend a hand. Your office may also offer you great alternatives. Graciously say yes!
Make this resolution: “I will always back up my files!”
Nothing like experiencing a situation like this to take your precautions! At least I’ve learnt my lesson…Which prompted me to invest in an external hard drive. Yes, we have the Cloud nowadays, but not all your files can be stored on it. If anything, consider investing in an external hard drive, and backup your files at least once a month.
I also use tools such as Google Docs and Dropbox, through which I can access my documents on the web at any time.
You turn: How have you survived a computer crash in your career or business?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
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by Solange Lopes | Feb 12, 2017 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
As I watched Beyonce glowing in all her expectant glory on the stage of the Grammys, I literally had a moment. As in all the goddesses of times past, present and future (plus those you occasionally call on to when you’ve had one too many coffees and still can’t tackle your to-do list) came down together on that Grammys stage all at once…I mean, there aren’t enough hashtags to picture the glorious career moment Queen Bey laid down for all of us to see (ahem…including the now silent and unidentified souls who claimed she used surrogates to have her babies, just sayin’…)
As a career gal, I was particularly mesmerized to watch an accomplished woman show up in her career, not in spite of being an expectant mother, but precisely because of it. How many moms-to-be, and moms in general, can proudly show off their belly on the job with as much pride as Bey did, and actually get a huge career boost for it? Granted, most of us don’t exactly grind the way the Queen Bey does, but still…
Most of us wait to find the right time to announce our pregnancies at work, and despite our genuine happiness at the prospect of carrying Life, silently make peace with the fact that our bulging bellies also mean we may not advance as far in our careers as we’d like during this time. And unlike Bey, many of us may not be particularly keen on displaying our growing baby bumps in the Board room for fear it may make us look slightly inadequate, or even worse, hormonal…
But it took just ONE performance by Beyonce to show that not only is it OK to rock your baby bump while on a major work event, it’s also just become highly advisable. Because: carrying double the bundle of joy while rendering a MAJOR performance, all the while lighting up the whole stage/world/universe, is something only women can do! And so is carrying through entire pregnancies while holding down a job, raising another one (or many) little humans, being a wife, and not giving up on dinner/laundry/contouring…
So next time the world tries to convince you that carrying babies may make you less competent/productive/extraordinary, just think about that time Beyonce lit a whole Grammys stage with her double baby bump, and got an award for Lemonade to boot…
And go on and proudly show how you can actually get that month-end presentation done, while positively slaying in that maternity suit and glowing from all that mommy-to-be-unstoppable-creature vibe…
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To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
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