As a corporate sister gearing up for the holiday celebrations, I wanted to address a topic that may unfortunately not be cause for much celebration, and that is conflict in the workplace…Yup, it is Tuesday, and for most of us, it means peeling yourselves off the warm, comfy bedsheets, and heading back to work…And for many, it also means going back to a sometimes hostile professional environment, where there is brewing conflict and discontent…Yet, and despite all the pressure that many feel on a daily basis at work, it is still your job, your paycheck, and your opportunity to practice your God-given skills. And at the end of the day, you, I and everyone else in between, need to address these, if not to resolve them, but at least to reach some kind of a “workable” consensus for all parties involved. As a dear friend of mine puts it well, “you either squash it or get squashed by it”.

So how does one address issues at work, when other parties are involved, be it with peers, colleagues, or bosses? How does one manage such difficult situations where the line can get so blurry between professional and personal relationships? After all, and although none of us really wants to think about it, especially not on Monday morning, we spend a significant portion of our lives, if not most of our lives, at work…In between our four cubicle or office walls, in front of our computer screens, across the table from the people we have to learn to work  (and sometimes almost live) with…

1. Recognize that there is an issue: Turning a blind eye to the problem will not help in the short, medium or long-term. That co-worker who keeps making snide remarks at you? The colleague who’s way too quick to dismiss your professional suggestions, or omits to include you in team communications? The boss who clearly abuses his power? There is an issue, and as much you’d rather bury you cute head in the sand rather than appear as the “complainer” or, worse yet, the “non-team player”, if it continues or worsens, it will need to be nipped in the bud pronto before it festers into something much less pleasant, and much more dangerous…

2. Address it head-on: Whether it’s by subtly pointing out to your co-worker or boss that you’d rather be treated in a different way, or by officially bringing the matter to your direct superior or to Human Resources if and when necessary, you will need to address it. One of the things I’ve learned in the workplace is that technical and professional. So just as one would address a significant deficiency in an auditor’s report, one should also address a significant professional relationship gap, to prevent it from festering into an unbearable, and unproductive, situation. And really, who needs the extra stress?

3. Be Professional, and….patient: This is where you’re going to need every extra inch of patience that you can muster, after dealing with the kids, realizing how late you are, and just trying to make it through the day in general. In all your dealings with the other party(ies) with whom you are experiencing a conflicting experience, use as much professionalism as you can muster. In addition to bringing back to memory (and use) all your “please” and “thank you’s”, be your best professional self, i.e. meet the deadline (heck, beat the deadline), polish your work, be respectful, and in no case, should you think about using calling Jackie Chan for a quickie karate lesson…

Are you dealing with conflict at work?

The Corporate Sister.