by Solange Lopes | Jun 15, 2018 | PODCAST
Welcome to Episode 14 of the TCS Podcast!
In this episode, I’m discussing what stands in the way of us, as working women, speaking up more at work, and what we can do to help ourselves show up more in and outside of the workplace. Listen in!
Related: How to muster the courage to speak up at work
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To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | Feb 7, 2018 | Career
For many of us working women, speaking up and expressing our opinions in the workplace is a challenge. From doubting our own abilities to fearing what others may think about us, we tend to refrain from expressing ourselves fully in the workplace. As a result, many women run the risk of not being considered management or leadership material, be passed over for promotions, or flat-out ignored at work.
I, like so many other working women, would know. Through countless conversations with fellow colleagues and friends, it was apparent that one common fear among us is to speak up at work. I would literally get paralyzed at the thought of raising my voice in a meeting or conference. The false anticipation that I may be ridiculed, laughed at, or that my ideas may not be valid or discounted, would keep me from sharing my otherwise valuable insights. I believe I missed many opportunities because of my silence. I know I’m not the only one…
Hindsight being 20/20, I now realize there are many things I could have done to fight the fear of speaking up, even as a woman of color at work. Despite the difficulties or opposition you may face as a woman at work, you can train yourself to muster the courage to speak up. Here are a few ways to do so:
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Understand the source of your fear of speaking
For many, if not most of us, the fear of speaking up at work stems from our own feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. We may fear sounding ridicule, or that our contributions may be mocked. Instead of taking what we perceive to be a risk, we shrink, letting others take the credit for our work and claiming ideas we thought of first.
Understanding the source of your fear can help you tackle it in a more effective way. Are you feeling inadequate because you’re the only woman in the room? Do large meetings make you uncomfortable or nervous? Did you grow up with a sense of inadequacy? Ask yourself the hard questions, and get to the root of your fear.
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Change your internal dialogue
Once you’ve understood the source of your fear, it’s time to work on your internal dialogue. Track the negative thoughts such as “I am not smart enough”, “I am not qualified enough”, “I’m too young”, “I’m too old”. Instead of replaying this negative dialogue in your head, consider replacing these thoughts by positive ones, such as: “I am capable”, “I am qualified”, “I can do all things”.
The more you hear yourself say positive things about yourself, the more you tend to believe it. It unfortunately also works in the reverse.
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Prepare ahead of time
Preparing ahead of time and rehearsing before a meeting, presentation or other event you may have to speak up at, can go a long way. Before every meeting you are to attend, consider brainstorming and jotting down at least three (3) ideas you can contribute to the conversation. If you have the time, practice sharing these ideas by recording yourself, until you are satisfied with the way you sound. You may also do the same if you have an upcoming presentation.
The more you prepare yourself and get in the habit of speaking up, the more comfortable you’ll feel. Don’t hesitate to take your time so you can actually overcome your fear of speaking up.
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Join public speaking organizations or groups
Public speaking organizations such as Toastmasters International can be a tremendous help when it comes to speaking up at work. By providing a supportive and positive learning experience for you to develop your communication and leadership skills, they help you hone in on your speech and public speaking skills.
Within your own company, there may be other communication and leadership groups that can also assist you with this. Keep your eye open for events and opportunities teaching public speaking skills as well.
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Get support
Don’t be too proud not to ask for support if you’re struggling with speaking up at work. You can get an accountability partner to encourage and support you as you work on developing your public speaking skills. Similarly, you may decide to add speaking up at work, as one of your goals on your performance review.
In any case, don’t shy away from getting the support you need to improve this area of your performance.
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Reward yourself
Last but not least, don’t forget to reward yourself for overcoming your fear of speaking up. I used to treat myself to a new book every time I would make a significant contribution to a meeting. For an introvert like myself, mustering the courage to speak up was always encouraging.
How do you muster the courage to speak up at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 24, 2015 | Career
When it’s better not to speak ups work – Photo credit: happyblackwoman.com
“Tis better to be silent and thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt”. Abraham Lincoln
A lot has been said about the importance of women speaking up at work, as well as the numerous obstacles they face, especially for women of color, when trying to do so. There are many biases and obstacles against female employees speaking up in the workplace, from the proverbial “manterruptions” to the simple fact society is not yet accustomed to women leading and contributing significantly at work. Yet, part of being effective and successful at work, is also knowing when to not speak up.
In today’s extremely political workplace, speaking up is crucial. Yet distinguishing between when to express one’s opinion and when to reserve them for a more appropriate time or occasion, can also be just as important. Here are 5 situations when you should consider whether not speaking up may actually work to your advantage:
- When you need to listen: Learning is more effectively done by listening than talking. Take advantage of mentoring opportunities, or occasions when constructive criticism and advice is offered to you to learn and position yourself at work. Rather than talking, absorb the newfound knowledge and take precious notes!
- When you don’t need to be right: You don’t always need to be right, at work or in life. Mistakes happen, and part of managing them is owning up to your errors and committing not to repeat them. In these instances, the less you say to justify yourself, and the more you do to fix the problem, the more reliable and trustworthy you come across as!
- When you’re being too competitive: Healthy comparisons and competition can help you better your performance. However, trying to one-up a co-worker and undermine their performance so yours looks better, is always a bad move. Focus on success, yours and everyone else’s. Congratulate your peers and management on their achievements, and celebrate others’ successes!
- When you’re biting on more than you can chew: Under-promise, and over-deliver, should always be your mantra. Do not bite on more than you can chew at work, especially when your performance evaluation heavily depends on it. Be realistic, assess your deadlines and only speak up to offer promises you can actually deliver. Otherwise, silence is golden…
- When you need to wash your mouth with soap: While casual swearing may be OK in certain office environments, keep your language clean as much as you can! In doubt, keep civil! You never know what can come back to haunt you in the future, so keep it clean and cool…
When do you think it’s better to keep quiet at work?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 29, 2015 | Career |
Overwhelmed at work – Photo credit: http://i.huffpost.com
It’s January, and for most of us at work, it’s just crazy! Year-end deadlines, 10K filings, audit committees, yearly reports, everything is due yesterday. Work is coming at you from every corner, management is running around like a chicken without head (or much of anything else), the vending machines are back in business (hello failed New Year resolutions), and the mood is kicking (literally). If you’re overwhelmed at work, and chances are you may be more than a few times a year, do you speak up and say so, or ask for help (or more chocolate)? Or do you just keep your head down and plow through mountains of work without a word, for the sake of a paycheck?
Being overwhelmed at work has become commonplace. While there are tons of tips and tricks, from time management to living in the moment, to deal with the barrage of to-do’s our jobs have become, one thing many of us fail to do in those instances is simply to speak up! I’ve found myself in many instances when I was downright miserable, with too much on my plate, smiling and faking the funk, acting like I “got this”. Truth is, all I had was a great chance at providing sub-par work in a sub-par state of mind at a sub-par time, which turned out to be exactly what happened.
My $0.05: Speak up! At the risk of sounding like a normal human being (sorry, Superwoman-wannabe), say it like it is. It’s not an admission of guilt, rather it’s a courageous self-assessment. You’re not helping anyone trying to kill yourself, and producing sucky work as a result. Ask if some of your work can be re-distributed, or if the deadline can be pushed to allow for it to be done well. Always emphasize the importance of work quality over quantity! You, and your entire management team, will be glad when the report comes out stellar (and you come out sane!).
Do you speak up when overwhelmed at work?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jun 3, 2014 | Career
madamenoire.com
Happy Tuesday!
With all the hype on women’s empowerment, leaning in and sitting at the table, it seems all women at work should do is speak up! We should voice our opinions, fight for equal rights and be as opinionated as we can afford to!
Yet, in mine and many others’ experiences, there are instances when it’s just smarter to not speak up. Words are great conveyors of meaning, so choosing your words carefully, at work or in life, is crucial to your success. If less than desirable or plain negative situations inspire you to speak up, re-consider your argument and decide carefully on whether speaking up is going to help or hinder your career:
1. Speaking up to complain…for the sake of complaining: Complaining to complain is not effective, and can even look bad on you! So your colleague got the promotion you thought you deserved? Or your review is not as fair as it should be? Should you consider your options to remedy the situation? Certainly! Yet, is it a reason to speak up loud and clear to complain about a situation that you may not have the power or bandwidth to change? Maybe not. Yes, we should speak up against unfair situations or personal attacks, but unless our words are positive, effective and offer some sort of solution or compromise, you may have to wait a bit to speak up…
2. Speaking up to deflect blame: “It’s not my problem!” is a common blame deflector in the workplace. Why should I care if my entire business unit is performing poorly, I’m doing my job, right? Wrong! Someone once told me that if you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem. At work or in life, taking responsibility is key. Rather than speaking up to deflect blame or responsibility, ask yourself how you can help remedy the problem, then speak up.
3. Speaking up out of uncertainty: “I’ll try”, or “I may be able to meet this deadline”, and similar statements all have a common denominator: Uncertainty. And uncertainty is not appealing at work, as it denotes a certain lack of self-confidence and assertiveness. If you’re going to speak up, let it be out of a place of confidence and authority. Statements such as “I anticipate having this project completed by Monday”, or “I am planning to close this deal the first week of the month”, are not only more definitive, powerful and effective, but they also convey a sense of ownership in your work. Afraid to make mistakes? Mistakes are par for the course, and can only help demonstrate your ability to do better. So go ahead and speak up with confidence…
Would you agree?
The Corporate Sister.
