Dear Working Mom,
I know most days you have too much on your plate to think about your mental health! As you furiously work through your to-do list, lugging the kids from one appointment to the other, often not getting enough sleep as you make up for work and household chores when everyone is already in bed, you may not even consider how your hectic lifestyle is impacting your mental health.
In many instances, you may not even suspect the constant feeling of overwhelm, along with the clutter in your minds and unexplained irritability, is hiding the shadow of maternal depression…Even when you do suspect it, you often dare not admit it, because, well, who talks about the ugly secret of depression, let alone maternal depression? Isn’t motherhood supposed to just be the wonderful stuff of “perfect” social media Christmas photos? And when you appear to “have it all”, the cute family and the great career, how could you dare complain? Even if the pandemic did a number on you and your sanity. Even if working mothers are leaving the workforce in droves and suffering the most from mental health issues. Even if 68% of working mothers have sought therapy, as opposed to 47% of women without children, due to lack of childcare, the impact of COVID, and general economic instability.
Additionally, as a working mom, your mental health does not only affect you. It also deeply affects your children, as well as the environments you live and work in. As a matter of fact, research shows maternal depression harms children’s mental health more than poverty.
Maternal depression is real, and despite its stigma, does not have to be an ugly secret. It doesn’t have to be a secret at all. As a matter of fact, it’s a well-known fact the COVID-19 pandemic has tripled depression and anxiety symptoms in new moms. From catching up on work at night and on weekends, to being flat-out burnt out, having trouble sleeping, needing more support, moms everywhere have been struggling, in one way or another.
So dear working mom, it’s ok to not be ok. And you’re far from being alone if you’re experiencing it right now, or have ever experienced it. The only secret around maternal depression is the one society desperately attempts to keep in order to fuel a stigma that needs to disappear. Here a few ways that can help you cope, and support other working moms as well:
- Acknowledge where you struggle mentally
Let me say this again, it’s ok not to be ok. Normal people are not constantly happy. Life happens, and it can be hard and bring you to your knees. There is no reward for overworked, exhausted, over-committed mom of the year, but there is a heavy mental health cost to pay.
So learn to recognize the signs of anxiety and depression, from poor sleep, to an over-cluttered mind, to nutrition issues, to cite a few. Check in with yourself as often as you can, your body always tells you when something is not quite right.
- Seek support
Mental health struggles are not weaknesses. Neither is reaching out to get some help and support. Everyone experiences, to varying degrees and instances, struggles with their mental health. Seeking support could be reaching out to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking professional support in the form of therapy.
Whichever way you choose to seek support, remember asking for help is a sign of strength and bravery. By seeking the help you need, you are also giving others permission to do so, while getting the tools that you can then use to help others.
- Make self-care a priority
I know your schedule is already overflowing, however, making your self-care a priority is far from being an indulgence. It’s a necessity to care for yourself in order to be able to remain present, be all of who you are, and be there for others as well. Your children deserve a fulfilled, healthy mom, and that may just be the greatest gift you could give them and yourself.
Take care,
The Corporate Sis.
