Most of my initial knowledge about money came from my childhood. I was raised in a single-parent household where money was not necessarily in abundance, and as a result I was made to understand that money is to be valued and comes from hard work. As I grew up and learnt more about money, I also realized that there’s a whole mindset around the concept of money. I’m sure you have received many messages about money as a child as well.
For many, if not most of you your entire mindset about money still comes from those childhood experiences and messages that you may have received. Some of us have added to this knowledge from our childhood through books, seminars, as well as more formal training. Others have transcended those messages and earlier experiences about money with their own acquired knowledge. The point here is that the way we treat money and the way we think about it largely comes from our childhood. Hence the importance of teaching children the right mindset and helping them develop the right habits around money.
It’s not until I became a parent myself that I started thinking about money, and the effect it has on families as well as entire generations. Thinking about money not just as a tool, but also as an ideology and a mindset helped me recalibrate my own understanding of finances. This in turn allowed me to teach my children a more positive and empowering message about money. From my experience as a parent, career and business woman, I have extracted various money lessons to pass on to my children. These are the lessons I would like to share with you today.
It’s important for us as working women to understand our own view of money, and adopt the right mindset and habits around my knee. Not only is it crucial for our own development and success as women but it also matters a great deal to our children and our families as they get a large part of their own understanding of money and practice of money from us.
Here are seven tips I would like to share that I have learned to myself about how we can as successful and driven working women teach our children about money:
Start with your childrens’ mindset
As a child, my circumstances as well as the messages I received from well-meaning adults taught me that money is simply this tool we use to make purchases or live in certain conditions. As an adult, I was fortunate to learn that money is a mindset first. One that is rooted in abundance and not in lack. One that is based on the profound belief that we are always provided for.
However, this mindset should be rooted in positive action. As a matter of fact, no mindset can stand alone without the positive effect of consistent and persistent action. Begin by teaching your kids to form their own beliefs about money. You can do this through conversations and positive messages around the belief that we as people have resources, means and ways to provide for our own and those around us. Instead of having conversations rooted in limiting beliefs such as “We only have a certain amount of money” or “We don’t have enough money” or “Money is limited”,for instance.
Instead, try to foster positive messages such as “You are always provided for”, “Money comes to you easily”, or “You have the power to create the money you need at all times”. These are the same beliefs I grew up in, and I’m still having to learn the hard way. You can foster this by repeating affirmations with your children around money and abundance. You can also do this by involving them in the process of your family finances and challenging them to come up with innovative ways to create money, whether it’s through business ventures ,chores or allowances. The point here is to instill in them the clear belief that money is rooted in a mindset of abundance rather than lack.
Teach your children about value.
One of the first concepts we often have to deal with as children and growing adults is that money is but a thing. For many of us, it’s just that thing that is included in our paychecks after one, two or four weeks of hard work. It’s just that thing that we use to buy the stuff we want or need. Very rarely do we learn to see money for the value it actually provides. This is because many of us don’t understand the concept of value to begin with. This is also because many of us have not been taught about this concept as children.
As a child, I was taught about money as a commodity. Yet, as I grew up and became an adult, I learnt about the precious principle of value, or receiving something in exchange for something else not just as a simple means of exchange but as a way of providing something that can serve the greater good. Today I teach my children to look less at the money then at the value they can provide through it. For instance, I strive to make them understand that the point of them doing chores and receiving an allowance is not just for them to get and spend money. It’s for them to be able to deliver a work of value that makes a difference and serves the greater good. In our family this greater good is the well-being of the family, and the fact that we can all benefit from the chores they partake in. When I discuss the work I do with them, I don’t discuss it in terms of doing something that can bring me money. Rather, it is something that I see as benefiting the greater good, as is the case for all of us.
Instilling in our children a sense of value for the greater good will not only turn them into proactive citizens who desire to make a difference. It will also help them not put money above the real value that it is providing. You can do this by attaching every purchase that you make together and for which you use money to the value it is providing. For instance, when you buy a toy for them, help them understand the value of that toy beyond its monetary value. Another example would be when you involve them in the finances of the family. For instance when you take them to the supermarket, help them understand the value behind grocery shopping, from feeding the family to staying healthy, and creating value for society by caring for ourselves. All of these are examples of simple things you can do to help you children understand that what is important is not just the money, but the value behind it.
Teach your children to give
As a child growing up in a predominantly Muslim country, every Friday we had the tradition of giving away alms to the poor. This could be in the form of food, money or whatever we could provide to less fortunate people. Growing up as a Christian, I also learned of the spiritual importance of giving.
Later on in life, as I was learning about wealth and money, I learned about the concept of giving more specifically through tithing. The famous and incredibly wealthy Rockefeller used to give away 10% of anything he made. This taught me a precious lesson about giving that I tried to instill in my children as much as I can.
Giving multiplies what you have while serving the greater good. When you have a mindset of abundance, you cannot afford to see giving as something that diminishes yourself or your value. As a matter fact, the very wealthy tend to give away a lot, whether for philanthropic or strategic purposes. For example I make it a monthly practice in my family for us to openly give of what we have, whether we go to the Salvation Army or give alms to people on the street.
Involve your children in the family finances
We often think that family finances belong to adults. We believe that because kids are too young, they’re not able to comprehend how we as adults manage the money that comes into the household. As well-meaning adults, we are tempted to think that it’s in their benefit to shield our children from the most delicate and difficult aspects of managing money as a family. However, this is a mistake. It is important, if not crucial for our kids to learn about the way money is managed in the family. The reason for this is that kids learn better by example.
An easy way to do this is to invite them to be part of the family budgeting process. While they may not be privy to all the intimate financial details you may deal with, they can still be part of the process. This will help them better understand the impact of expenses and revenue, and where they fit in within the whole process. Assigning responsibilities and chores to children can also foster a sense of value and self-worth, while teaching them the importance of money.
Being an introvert in professional environmentsthat cater to extroverts can be a challenge. In work settings where networking, public speaking, and interviewing are considered to be crucial, there may seem to be little, or no room, for introverts.
When determining the types of jobs that are best suited for introverts, it’s important to consider the areas in which introverts excel. If you’re one of those people who enjoy working alone, one of these 7 careers may be perfect for you:
1.Social Media Manager
Social managers are responsible for managing the social media interactions of small businesses or even individuals. While they deal with countless Twitter, Instagram and/or Facebook followers, they can still maintain their privacy and alone time. Working in this “virtual bubble” allows them to recharge and be more productive, by not being in constant contact with people.
2.Artist
If you’re a quiet loner who enjoys spending days in your studio creating art, an artistic career may be perfect for you. It’s a perfect field if you’d rather cater to your creativity than interact with lots of people at once.
3.Statisticians
If you’re a number geek who loves to let numbers speak, then being a statistician may be the perfect career fit for you. In this career, you could immerse yourself in spreadsheets and calculations, and avoid small talk altogether. It’s also a pretty lucrative career with a median salary of $70,000 per year.
4.Chef
Private chefs spend most of their time preparing foods for different sizes of audiences. However, they don’t have to deal with people in the process, which makes it a top career for introverts. Most private chefs are actually female, which is also an anomaly.
5.Video Game Artist
If there’s any career that combines fun with virtual reality, it’s being a video game artist. While they help create virtual experiences, they don’t have to interact with people.
6.Actuary
If you’ve got a head for numbers, then actuary may be a top career for you. This work entails analyzing the costs of risks and uncertainty using financial theory and mathematics. It’s based on assessing the risk that certain events will occur, that risk-based policies for businesses and clients are developed. The best part? The median salary for actuaries is $95,000.
7.Technical Writer
Having a good understanding of technology and being able to put complex information into simple, understandable terms, technical writing could be a great career for you as an introvert. It involves independently researching various technology topics to write instruction manuals and supporting documentation.
As our careers and lives get busier by the minute, self-care is becoming a priority for most of us. Constant work demands, fast-paced environments, and distracting social media leave us perpetually frazzled and stressed.
Yet, one of the biggest obstacles to practicing self-care is finding the time to actually do it. Since most of us spend the majority of our time at work, here are 7 steps to practice self-care right in our work environment:
Give yourself a break
We tend to be our harshest critics, which takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. Instead of constantly criticizing yourself, start seeing the positives. Would you be as hard with your fellow co-workers as you are with yourself? Refrain from judging yourself or your work harshly. It will boost your confidence and lessen the weight of self-doubt on you.
Change your workspace
It’s no surprise that your work environment has a huge impact on your productivity. Instead of being surrounded by clutter, consider cleaning your desk periodically. It will help you gain more clarity while eliminating unwelcome distractions.
Get inspired by putting up pictures, images and artwork representing people and things that matter to you. Overall, if your workspace is not a reflection of yourself, it may be time for an update.
Surround yourself with the right people
A crucial component of self-care is being around the right people. You must surround yourself with healthy, supportive and positive relationships that push you to reach higher.
Is your team supportive of your goals? Who around you at work drains you? Who, on the other hand, motivates and feeds you? Spend more time with those co-workers and colleagues who inspire and support you. The same goes for your relationships outside of work as well. Nurture these relationships by taking time to check on your loved ones.
Manage your emotions
One of the biggest mistakes so many of us make at work is to repress our emotions. Instead of avoiding the reality of your feelings, acknowledge and learn to manage them. Emotions are here to guide us to better understand ourselves. The more authentic you can be, the more fulfilled and successful you’re likely to be.
Honor your value
In any given workday, other people will make demands on us. Whether they require our time, energy or resources, frequent external requests will leave us distracted and frazzled. As a result, we end up not taking care of ourselves or tending to our priorities.
Take some time at the beginning of each day to set out and write down your goals for the day. Make a decision throughout the day as to which requests from others you can afford to attend to. If they go against your priorities and goals for the day, you may want to start saying no!
Recharge!
You simply cannot function on empty. Your cup has to be filled in order to contribute to your life, career and other responsibilities to the best of your potential.
Refill your tank by getting the adequate amount of sleep every night. Consider taking frequent breaks during the day. If possible, take lunch breaks away from your desk.
Learn to celebrate yourself
Many of us fail to celebrate our accomplishments and victories, in life and at work. We’re simply too busy to stop and ask ourselves: “What did I do well today, last week, last month, or even last quarter?” Consider asking your team and colleagues at work the same question.
Celebrate the positives, and learn from the areas in which you can improve.
Have you attended a meeting at work and felt like somehow, you didn’t quite belong? Or landed a promotion that you didn’t feel you deserve? I know I have, and you may have as well as a working woman who’s ever experienced the Impostor Syndrome at work. This is an issue that has always affected women, and also does racial minorities as well as minority groups.
It doesn’t matter how competent, qualified or driven you are. We’ve all felt this way, at one point or another in our careers. According to this Behavioral Science Research Institute’s study, around 70 percent of people have experienced the Impostor Syndrome at work.
Impostor syndrome, also known as “fraud syndrome”, occurs when we don’t feel like our successes are deserved. Instead, we tend to attribute our achievements to external circumstances, like timing, coincidence or sheer luck. Most people affected by it worry they’ll be exposed as a fraud, and are likely to experience strong anxiety, fear and distress as a result.
I started feeling the Imposter Syndrome as early as my college years. I never quite could shake the feeling that I didn’t deserve to be in those upper-level Accounting and Finance classes, or that I could actually graduate as an honor student. Even as I walked across the stage on Graduation Day after completing my Master’s degree, there was a sense that I had only been fortunate to have gotten that far. This sense of sheer luck rather than deserving accomplishment followed me in my career as I would unconsciously sabotage my progress at times for fear to be discovered as a fraud.
Ridding yourself of the Impostor Syndromeis hard! After all, it’s a mindset buried under years of faulty self-belief about who you are, what you’re able to accomplish, and what you really deserve in life. Yet, you can fight it and use it instead as fuel to succeed at work again, this time on your own terms and with a smile on your face. As women, we carry so many societal and social expectations that it can easy for us to succumb to the pressures of feeling like a fraud in and outside of work.
Here are five ways you can fight it at work, and even beyond your career:
Acknowledge the problem
You’ve heard it before. You can’t solve a problem unless you acknowledge it first. Many of us have a hard time taking an honest look at ourselves, and recognizing that we do suffer from Impostor Syndrome. Instead, we use excuses to make ourselves feel better.
Where are you undervaluing yourself? Which of your successes are you attributing to luck or favorable circumstances? Do you think you’ve only gotten the promotion because the boss likes you? Or that you’ve been invited to this high-visibility infrastructure project at random? Do you feel like you don’t deserve to manage that project because you’re not experienced enough?
Pinpoint those areas where doubt is creeping in and your confidence is crumbling. Be honest about them, and write them down on paper to really identify the problem at hand.
Get Your Success Box Out!
One of the most powerful lessons that one of my mentors taught me is to always remember to get your Success Box out! You may be wondering: “What is this Success Box?” It’s made out of all your past accomplishments, everything you have ever done successfully in your life.
There’s something about reminding yourself of how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve done, that restores your confidence back. Whether it’s the college degrees, the certifications, the positive feedback, the personal journey, whatever it is that shows that you’ve done it before, is proof that you can do it again! I suggest keeping an actual box where you write down on pieces of paper your recent successes and take it out every time you need that confidence boost!
Sharing is Caring!
Sharing your expertise and journey is also a great way to remind yourself of your competence and ability! Find someone who needs help in an area that you’re knowledgeable about, and engage them to see if you can help or mentor them. It may be a more junior employee, a family member or a friend in need.
I find that every time I can help someone else by sharing my expertise, I end up realizing how much I know and am capable of. I also learn through the process about myself, my strengths and other areas I can develop.
Consider also sharing your experience with the Impostor Syndrome with trusted friends, family members and colleagues. It’s also an empowering way to recognize the problem, and courageously face it by talking about it.
Ask yourself: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?
The biggest culprit with the Impostor Syndrome is the resulting fear. Try reversing this angst by asking yourself this question: “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” I actually have a Post-It note on my desk with this question on it. Every time I feel the fear creeping up in me, I look at it and loudly ask myself the question, over and over again.
What would you do? Would you go for this exciting career opportunity abroad? Would you apply for the promotion or ask for that raise? Would you create that business? Ask yourself the question, and let the answers lead you towards the success you deserve!
Change your words!
A mentor of mine once told me: “Your words are your life!” In other terms, your language is a preview of who you are! It also tells others about how much you trust yourself. Phrases like “I think”, or “I feel” indicate a lack of assurance in your ow potential.
Instead, change your words to reflect a more confident personality. Use language that conveys the fact that you believe in yourself, your competence and your ideas.
Watch this YouTube video as a recap:
Now your turn: How do you fight Impostor Syndrome at work?
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Work It Daily shares how to dominate the job market after graduation;
Workology shares what we can learn from Starbucks closing its US pay gaps;
Glassdoor shares how to get a promotion when you’re an introvert;
Recruiter shares 20+ skills that will look great on your resume;
Summer is coming! Making Sense of Cents explains how to save thousands for your next vacation;
The Daily Muse tips us off on the stupid easy way to make your phone less distracting at work;
