by Solange Lopes | Jan 29, 2015 | Career |
Potty Training – Photo credit: http://2.bp.blogspot.com
We’re currently in the throes of potty training our last one. If you’ve ever tried potty training a two-year old who has no idea why you’d want them to sit on an open bowl, or separate from anything coming from their own bodies, including their own feces, you know this is closer to boot camp than tea time. A great manager of mine, who at the time was also going through the fun of potty training, wisely said to me: “It’s like good management, you’ve got to learn to get the worst out of people before you can get the best.” Back then, it made me smile, this past week-end, it made me seriously question my management skills as I insistently interrogated my toddler “Baby, is this poop or chocolate?”
The average age for potty training around the world is 23 months, allegedly (not in my household, but anyhow…). Most children will be fully trained within three to six months, and 98% of kids are potty trained by age 3. Despite such statistics, the long-lasting psychological effects of potty training, mostly know through Freud’s theories, can last a lifetime, and can be especially challenging for complex or special-needs personalities. This is all to say it just doesn’t happen overnight, and requires some attention, discipline, and careful handling of individual personalities. Just like good management…
- Good management requires knowing who you’re working with: Listen, not every kid is the same, and not every employee is the same. I was dealt some beautifully challenging little people, who have to know the why’s and how’s of potty training inside out. Why do I have to poop in the toilet? What’s that (must we answer)? Why YOU don’t sit on the potty? The same goes for each and everyone of us at work. Some of us want to understand the why of everything, others could care less, others want to know the most efficient (and faster) way to do things, other will ponder on details all day every day. Bottom line: we’re all different, to get the best out of people, you’ve got to know who they are and how they work best. Period.
- It’s about helping others succeed: That means understanding what’s standing in their way, and helping them remove their own roadblocks. What it does NOT mean is imposing roadblocks, and ensuing punishment, on individuals who are simply trying to do their best. In psychoanalytical terms, Freud would have called this “anal retentive” behavior, in reference to a child being punished during potty training, in turn becoming stubborn and overly orderly. It’s about helping here, not hindering.
- Leading by example is key: I had to sit on the toilet next to my little one for hours on end to show my support to the process. Half of it was bonding time, the other half had my bum painfully asleep. Yet it was necessary. Managers who lead from afar are ineffective and intimidating. The real winners are those who get in the trenches with their teams, get dirty and help get the job done. Period.
- Good managers are ok with being vulnerable: We’ve been taught in order to make it, especially in the harsh, “beat or get beaten” corporate world, we must be tough. Especially when it comes to women at work, showing vulnerability is a big no-no. You can’t get mad at work, you definitely can’t cry at work, lest your whole career is drowned in a stream of sorry tears. In other words, keep your emotions shoved inside, plaster a big smile on your face, and get to work! Right? Wrong…Good managers, actually great managers, use their emotions as a competitive advantage for their team, and are willing to open up and be seen. In the book “Daring Greatly“, Dr. Brene Brown confirms “there can be no innovation without vulnerability”. No wonder we’re sorely lacking in better businesses…
- Last but not least, sharing is caring! Part of our potty training ritual at home consists in showing we care, and sharing what we’ve learned and what we’ve really sucked at. That is, the good, the bad, the ugly, and a good lollipop to reward good effort. Good managers share information, instead of hoarding it for fear of letting go of their competitive advantage (which it never was meant to be). Passing on knowledge and best practices is the foundation of leadership.
Maybe we should all return to the basics. Now back to my interrogation session: “Baby, tell mommy, is it poop or chocolate? (oh, it better be chocolate)…
by Solange Lopes | Jan 28, 2015 | Career
Conduct a passive job search – Photo credit: thenewblackchick.com
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The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 28, 2015 | Career |
Refresh app – Photo credit: refresh.io
Have you ever gone into a meeting trying to find things in common with the members in attendance so the connection could be as seamless (and least awkward) as possible? Well, of course, there’s an app for that…Refresh syncs information with powerful sites such as Linked In, Gmail, and Facebook, to help you get as much information as possible about the people you’ll be meeting. If you’ve met them before, you may be able to pull old interactions and refresh your memory. Or you can just dig out new information, such as whether you have a language, place of residence, mutual acquaintances/friends, or even a hobby in common. And voila, in a click, you can make a positive first impression…
My $0.05: Great, great iPhone and iPad app for anyone who’ll ever attend a business meeting, especially for introverts at work looking for effective conversation starters! Even better, you can branch out and extend your network this way, just by gleaning as much information you may need to ace your next meeting! Refresh it is…
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 28, 2015 | Career |
Pearl 360 Stud Set – $48 set of 3 – Photo credit: baublebar.com
When it comes to jewelry, and especially jewelry for work, I’m a big fan of pearls. Hence my Work It pick today, this pair of 360 pearl studs from Baublebar. I was a bit dubious about these at first; yet when I saw them on a very classy saleswoman, I was sold! Loving the mix of classic and trendy on these studs, priced at $48 for a set of three!
Speaking of pearls, I wouldn’t mind pairing these with a delicate bracelet like this pearl hinge bangle, or this petite pearl cuff, both from Baublebar.
Pearl it is!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 28, 2015 | Career |
‘Tis the season for working from home, and while there is a ton of advice out there as for tips to work from home, here is a quick infographic on how (not) to work from home. Happy Work From Home Day!
by Solange Lopes | Jan 27, 2015 | Career
Remember when snow days were actually snow days, when you had an extra day off and could lounge on the couch watching re-runs of Sex and the City? Well, in case you’ve missed the funeral of the good ol’ Mr. Snow Day, here’s the non-official obituary: “Mr. Snow Day, born since the dawn of ages, died in the advent of technology and ever-connectedness. Mr. Snow Day leaves behind a regretful trail of well-wishers ever hopeful to play in the snow, snuggle on the couch and eat carbs all day. It will be forever remembered as a fond time, away from Mrs. Adulthood and Mr. Responsibility, devoid of work emails and Office Communicator blinking lights, when one did not have to go over Mother Nature’s head just to get work shit done. RIP!”
Even as Juno is plowing through the Northeast, we know it, snow days are officially dead! What we now have are “snowy work days”, when you’re supposed to get up, log in, and do some work, albeit in your pajamas and day-old socks! With telecommuting growing at the rate of 80% from 2005 to 2012, we no longer just work at work, we work everywhere! On the bathroom seat as our Blackberry lights are blinking, on a (bad) date, in (crazy) traffic, in the doctor’s waiting room, heck in the delivery room right before pushing the baby out, and now, on the one day we could officially play hooky and thank Mother Nature for it…After all, what else other than a combination of icy roads and snowed-in cars can give us an excuse to sign off from the world of responsible grown-ups? What better excuse to get back at Time and slow down to play in the snow with the kids? What…
Well, apparently, a whole world of Wi-Fi and remote connection that’s managed to turn work into the boyfriend from hell who can never seem to leave you alone. Work is everywhere, it’s watching you, tracking your online presence, checking your documents’ version history, ready to download your career in a click! And apparently, there is no logging off, not even on good ol’ snow days…
RIP Mr. Snow Day, you will be missed dearly!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 27, 2015 | Career |
Photo credit: http://amazingasset.com
In case you didn’t know, giving the side eye is a true art (check out this hilariously true post from For Harriet). If you’ve ever come in close contact with a side eye, you’ve felt it cut through you like your mama’s final disciplinary warning. It’s that chastising, effective yet brief side glance that makes you understand we “ain’t playing no more”. It’s the cousin of the eye roll, except it’s clothed in less revealing, aggressive clothing, but just as effective…In other words, you’ve been “read”, silently, effectively, and probably without recourse…
At work, it’s women’s, and minority and Black women’s in particular, way of dealing with all the mini and macro-ways we are stopped in our tracks, silenced or just plain ignored. The side eye is there to say what words are sometimes not enough, or often too much, to express. In other words, instead of telling you how we really feel about that obnoxious email (or throwing a sharp object at you), we give you the side eye to say “I know what you’re doing”, or “I wouldn’t go there if I were you”…
I love me some side eye action. Done the right way, it may just be one of the most effective non-verbal cue to address most forms of disrespect at work or in life, political correctedness included…Well, judge by yourself…
The Corporate Sis.
