by Solange Lopes | Jan 22, 2015 | Career
Photo: the writegirlblog.com
Work can be challenging enough, without the feeling someone is trying to sabotage your efforts. You know, the perennial backstabbing associate who reports every single thing you say or do to your manager. Or the over-zealous supervisor who dings you for “imperfect line alignment” on your report, points the finger at you when the project hits a hiccup, or simply enjoys belittling you on the floor when they are sure everyone can hear. Or even better, the bitter, passed-over manager, who can smell superior brains and talents a mile away and punish you for it (why can’t you just be average like everyone else). Talk about a minefield, at work…
I’ve been there, and so have many. In those air-tight situations when I was fully aware someone was trying to get me in serious professional trouble, yet I was limited in ways I could address the problem. In professional impasses when one of my only options was to quit. In working conundrums that would leave me confused, doubtful of my own talents and abilities, and in need of extra make-up coverage.
David Maxfield, co-author of Crucial Conversations, makes the case that in 2014 “96% of American employees experience bullying in the workplace”, as I read in Forbes. And among all these cases, guess who gets to keep their jobs and enjoy professional security? The bully. My point, exactly.
This “out to get you” mentality is even reflected from the get-go, at the hiring level, when companies wrongfully seek and hire candidates based on generic skills, experience, and a faulty sense of “hiring in one’s image”.
While thriving in this type of environment is certainly a challenge, there are ways to dodge the professional bullets coming from someone trying to get you at work:
1. Always, always be professional! Yes, it’s obvious this person is trying their hardest to sabotage your career. And yes, you can think of non-politically correct things to say to them by the dozen. Yet the worst thing you could do here is lose your cool. Be professional, polite and even formal.
2. Document EVERYTHING! If there’s one thing my accounting background taught me, is to document everything. Don’t allow for your words, performance or ideas to be manipulated. Keep the majority of your communications with this person in email, or other written format. Back yourself up!
3. Have THE talk! Some difficult issues are better talked through, in a non-confrontational and preferably productive manner. Initiate such conversation with this person, explaining in a professional way your concerns. Also ask what you can do to better the situation. Be prepared for the other person to be defensive, but don’t let it sway you! Be firm but professional!
How do you react to someone trying to get you at work?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 19, 2015 | Career
MLK Day – Photo: clutchmagonline.com
As we celebrate, today and everyday, the legacy of Dr. King, and although it is a national holiday, many (if not most) employees are at work. Indeed, many companies do not observe MLK Day, including certain tech companies, despite their commitment to change and innovation. While Google, Facebook, and Twitter close their doors to honor this holiday, others such as Microsoft and Apple, do not, which certainly seems to stir controversy, at least for Apple.
What do you think, should more companies, even all companies, observe the MLK holiday?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 19, 2015 | Career
Happy MLK Day!
Tory Burch crepe-detail tweed sheath dress- $111 – Photo: bergdorfgoodman.com
Today’s Work It pick is this regal Tory Burch crepe-detail tweed sheath dress from Bergdorf Goodman (pssst…Bergdorf Goodman is having a 25% off sale on previously reduced merchandise). I’m personally loving the artful juxtaposition of the crepe and tweed in this classic dress, that takes it from simple to uber-stylish. The cropped bodice is very contemporary, while the A-line skirt makes it an easy, flawy selection for everyday. It’s on sale for $111 at Bergdorf Goodman.
Seen a great fashion pick you’d like to share? Please email me at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 19, 2015 | Career
Photo credit: http://st1.health.india.com
How do you feel when a co-worker, a friend or family member gets a promotion? Does a twinge of envy take over you, or do you wish them well on their way to success? Does it motivate you to strive, or get you all down and out, feeling sorry for yourself?
How we treat other people’s success says a lot about us. Most importantly, it tells a whole lot about whether we’ll in turn be successful or not. Striving to feel genuine happiness for others’ successes not only helps us to let go of the destructive green-eyed monster, but also to focus on celebrating our unique talents and opportunities, not to mention our relationships in and outside of the workplace would be greatly improved. In the corporate world where jealousy reigns supreme among colleagues (and apparently, even more among women), it can be particularly challenging to celebrate others’ successes, especially when their success may mean ours may be taking a backseat for some time.
Yet, as challenging as it may seem, we can all learn to stop hating, and celebrate our colleagues, co-workers, bosses, friends and/or family’s successes:
1. Catch the green-eyed monster in its tracks! Let’s be real, we are all subject to the occasional pang of jealousy, we’re human after all. The trick is to be aware, and catch ourselves before it gets out of hand. Be honest with yourself, and learn to recognize the signs…
2. Yes, you can fake happiness…at first! Even if you’d rather visit the dentist than congratulate your colleague on their promotion, practice by faking being happy for them. Hypocritical? A bit. Effective? Certainly.
3. Be grateful! Seeing your co-worker or friend bask in their glorious success as you sulk over not making it to the project team is not exactly conducive to grateful feelings! Yet, research suggests keeping a daily gratitude list helps in warding off feelings of envy and worthlessness that may be triggered. So go on and write down all the great things you did…
Do you celebrate others’ successes?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 18, 2015 | Career
Photo credit: intentblog.com
Happy happy Sunday, and happy MLK week-end! As we celebrate the legacy of Dr. King this week-end, let’s be reminded of the human spirit that unites us all as people, regardless of race, creed, gender or origin. Happy birthday Dr. King, we love and miss you! Here are the news that made my week, and hopefully make a bit of yours:
- I can’t wait to see the Selma movie this afternoon, and its director Ava DuVernay is listed in Mashable as one of the 7 Black female directors earning incredible Hollywood reviews;
- Speaking of movies, I, along with millions of others, was stunned at the lack of diversity in the Oscar nominations, and the Washington Post wrote about it here;
- Next time you’re wondering where working women are most common, check out this article from The New York Times’ Upshot;
- And if you’re also wondering which countries have the most women in management, Forbes tells you to wonder no more (and you may want to grab your bathing suit to visit the country where you’re most likely to have a female boss);
- Bustle shows you how to sound smarter and professional in emails;
- Salary Shark asks if you’re guilty of one of these 13 deadly office sins (you don’t have to publicly admit);
- Speaking while female at work is no easy feat. The New York Times comments on Sheryl Sandberg’s op-ed on how women can be heard at work;
- Speaking of speaking up (no pun intended here), Time Ideas gives us some pointers on how to speak with power;
- Thought Catalog listed 16 things successful women wish they’d known ten years ago;
- In great news for breastfeeding moms, the Huffington Post reveals Pope Francis welcomes mothers to breastfeed in the Sistine Chapel (and everybody in favor of it, please say amen);
- Is one of your New Year resolutions to boost your career through professional development? Well, you’re in luck, the Daily Muse lists 50 (cheap) professional development classes you can take this year;
- Single and ready to mingle in the Big Apple? Business Insider picked out for you the 30 most eligible men and women in New York City;
- Can failure be good for your career? CNN asked Christine Lagarde, the first woman to head the IMF, and her words will surprise yet comfort you;
- Fortune Magazine writes about how women can avoid “manterruptions” in meetings (yes, it’s a word).
Happy Sunday, and happy reading!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 16, 2015 | Career
Photo: blackhairinformation.com
If I could take back some of my college antics way back in the day (I’ll refrain from providing details), I so would. And if I could have an unadulterated, honest one-on-one with my younger, more vibrant, corporate self, I’d have a thing or two to say too…
We’ve all done or thought things we’re not exactly proud about, at one point or another in our careers. I distinctly remember sporting way-too-high stilettos, saying exactly what I thought (hello political correctedness), and treating the very concept of punctuality worse than my most resilient plants. And since I can’t exactly go back and fix it all (neither do I want to revisit my heavy eyeliner and lip pencil days), here are 10 things I’d happily tell my younger corporate self to skip at work:
1. Skip the “entitlement” seat! It’s easy to get out of college, all fresh and full of head knowledge, new suits and shiny shoes, and think we know it all. As much as I hate to give the millenial “entitlement” talk any more ammo, I’d nevertheless advise you, my younger, cooler, self, to take it easy. You’ll soon realize all you know is you don’t know all that much…
2. Life isn’t fair, and neither is work! This ain’t the United Nations of Fairness, and not everyone is going to like your savvy, educated self. Let me rephrase that, it’s going to suck, and some days, it’s going to suck even more! You may work late, miss a promotion (or two), be slighted or ignored, or even told where to go…Yet it’s not the end of the world, and you may smile about it fondly when you finally make partner…
3. Don’t talk about it, be about it! You’re going to have to prove yourself, especially as a woman, and even more as a minority woman. Don’t overpromise, over-deliver! Bring your best, all day, every day, no slacking allowed…
4. You’re not here to make friends! Stop worrying about who likes you and who doesn’t! You may be able to ride on the popularity contest thing for a while, but ultimately, it’s about work! Work is your friend here…
5. You can’t avoid the political BS! Don’t fool yourself, there is political BS behind every single cubicle! Get used to it, even better, learn the art of it! It’s not about being dishonest and conniving, it’s about being savvy enough to navigate the corporate world! So toughen up and bite back…
6. Do not tolerate disrespect! I learned a bit too late keeping quiet and accepting disrespect kills you inside. Stand up for yourself, no job is worth the psychological damage. Besides, you will get more respect for yourself this way…
7.You’re not going to make it alone! Yes, you are smart, very smart! You may have all the credentials and some, experience to boot, and even more flair than the next gal! Yet you’ll do better with people and support than all alone…So find your own way of networking, get yourself a mentor, and get the support you need!
8. Be real! As much as you may have to be aware of the political BS (please see item 5), don’t let it sway you from telling, and living your truth! Integrity matters!
9. Relax…but not too much! Yes, the corporate jungle is not exactly the most relaxing place. Yet don’t allow stress, worry and anxiety to take over your life. Relax, take a deep breath, it will all work out in the end…but please, hand in your monthly report by the deadline!
10. Failure is OK! Last but not least, get comfortable with failure! It’s not always going to work out, actually, it may only work out a few times! And that’s ok, because that’s how you learn, and improve, and find your way in the midst of the mess. Chill out, it’s alright…
What would you tell your younger corporate self?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 15, 2015 | Career
Layered dress – $128.25 – Photo credit: neimanmarcus.com
Neiman Marcus is offering $50 off any purchase $200 or over, which piqued my interest quite a bit. What also piqued my fashion interest, was this Laundry by Shelli Segal sleeveless color block layered dress. As much as I’m getting over the color block trend, I have to say the contrast between the white cropped top and darted pencil skirt in this simple yet elegant dress intrigued me. I love how the concept of layering is used in this asymmetrical, modern and interesting piece, which also happens to be on sale for $128.25.
Seen an interesting, work-friendly fashion piece you’d like to see featured? Email me at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
The Corporate Sis.
