by Solange Lopes | Feb 25, 2014 | Career |
avoiding eye contact at work
I don’t know about you, but I have been fortunate enough to have a pretty colorful career so far. And by colorful…I mean just that, colorful!
Ever since I was a fresh out-of-college Staff in Public Accounting, I’ve experienced what I call the “avoiding eye”. The “avoiding eye” syndrome affects many people in the corporate space, mostly males in management position, who have the uncanny ability to speak to you while entirely avoiding looking at you. How that is even possible is beyond me, and for all its uncanny character, this is one of the most consistently displayed behavior I and many a corporate sister, have experienced in the corporate world.
From the manager who will blatantly answer your question while looking at the staff reporting to you, to the colleagues who will address your request while furtively catching glimpses of your right shoulder, the “avoiding eye” is so prevalent in the corporate space, especially as directed to corporate sisters, it’s not even funny (although it can definitely be at times).
As a corporate sister and an under-represented minority at work, I have felt the disrespectful sting of it time and time again. While it infuriated me as a young, ambitious staff years ago, today it fuels my ambitions and prompts me to share mine and others’ stories.
Have you ever experienced the “avoiding eye” at work? How have you dealt with/responded to it?
Please share your stories (we need to share our stories)…
The Corporate Sister
The Corporate Sister
by Solange Lopes | Feb 25, 2014 | Career |
Flared Trench – $225 – Banannarepublic.com
For our lunch break today, we’ve been saying for a while that spring is on our minds, even though it’s not in the air just yet…And although we are preparing for yet another snow storm this week, we at The Corporate Sister are calling in the Spring gods!
That’s why our pick today is this twist on the classic trench coat from Banana Republic! This flared trench is just what will brighten your fashionably rainy spring days. The iconic trench coat gets a fresh update with a flared hem, a point collar and epaulettes. I love the slight touch of elegance and originality that the flared hem brings to this classic wardrobe staple. This coat is just perfect, and worth the $225 price tag…
Seen a great, work-appropriate fashion piece you’d like to share? Please email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
by Solange Lopes | Feb 25, 2014 | Career
Corporate failure – ashy2classy.com
My mother tells me that even as a baby, I would categorically refuse to eat if the food was not given to me a certain way. In school, I was the kid who cried when I got less than a perfect grade. I would rip up my calligraphy homework sheet if one of the letters had a slight imperfection. Today, I catch myself telling my own daughter that her homework must be perfect. I am a perfectionist in remission in a world where perfection is more a liability than an asset, and boy has it cost me…and paid off too…
Fast forward a few decades, and as I came to learn in the corporate world, outstanding grades and perfectionist expectations do not make the cut. Actually, they set you back quite a bit…In the fast-paced world of corporations, the ins and outs of career success are not elaborate dissertations on the human condition, or elevated, philosophical hopes of super-human achievement. In other words, between the Bentley and the Chevy, and despite all its glamorized outward appearance, the corporate world is really more the Chevy than the Bentley…And for the perfectionist at heart, it spells nothing else but…failure, good, grand, inspiring FAILURE! And that may just be the best thing that can happen to us…
I believe everyone should experience the corporate world, scramble in the urgency of business, build the Legos of professional relationships, understand how at the end of the day, the bottom line matters, all the while learning to climb an elusive corporate ladder on your hands and knees. And most importantly, learn to fail in a world where you are forgotten as soon as your reputation is tarnished, and replaced when you are no longer of any use, like…the real world…
Corporate failure will disappoint you as a perfectionist, ideals-filled, morally conscious professional. Yet it will build you up, train you hard, and strengthen every intellectual and moral muscle you ever thought you had. There’s a reason why it’s called the corporate jungle, and there’s a reason why for many it has been one of the most important rites of passage in their lives and careers.
It is the best antidote for the debilitating side of Perfection, one of the harshest and strongest remedies for anyone wanting to learn what success in the real world is like. No wonder it’s called the corporate jungle…
So you over there, yes you the Perfectionist with the Ivy league degree, the insanely high IQ and high morals and standards, you are going to fail…and you are going to get up, dust yourself off, learn to ride that Chevy hard and strong, until it’s time to get behind the Bentley’s wheel…Ready?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Feb 23, 2014 | Career |
madamenoire.com
One of the pivotal points of my career occurred when I started working at a company that offered women, especially professionals moms, flexible working options without these affecting their career advancement opportunities. As a matter of fact, many department heads were professional mothers who were driven, successful and climbing the corporate ladder…while still being able to pick up their kids on time after work.
In stark (and unfortunate) contrast, at a company I had worked before, leaving on time two days a week to pick up the kids was heavily frowned upon.
The difference between the two, other than the obvious, is one less obvious, much under-rated employee quality in today’s world: loyalty. While popular opinion may tend to be in favor of less loyalty and more self-interested motivations, both on the company and the employee side, I still do believe that an important part of employees’ engagement and commitment to their work lies in how they feel about the company they work for. If mutual respect and trust are lacking on either side, you get employees who are loyal to nothing else but their paychecks. And that’s exactly what happens with an increasing number of women, especially working mothers, in the corporate world, hence the saddening and unfortunate corporate female brain drain.
When asked about why they left the corporate world and their hefty paychecks, many a woman cites the lack of flexibility at work. As elusive as the work-life balance concept may be, a total lack thereof is increasingly and undoubtedly affecting employees. As another corporate sister and dear friend of mine puts it, “I don’t feel like the additional hours I spent at work are anymore productive. I feel there is a total disrespect for my person and my life, and that corporate is trading my loyalty and productivity for a few unproductive additional hours.”
And this is the reality for many a corporate sister out there, unfortunately having to choose between a fruitful and rewarding career, and their own family. And as a result, it is so unfortunate that so many women feel that they have to leave the workforce, or lower their professional expectations in order to have a life at all. In worst case scenarios, some of us may have to postpone having children or families of our own until our careers take off. And as our careers finally take off, we are frowned upon for now trying to achieve a healthy balance. In other scenarios, we get relegated from the start to the infamous “mommy track”, and trade flexibility for professional fulfillment, as if it were impossible to achieve both.
Women are not only paying for this illogical, limiting and imposed choice, but businesses and entire economies are suffering from the loss of loyalty and engagement from half, if not more, of the corporate workforce.
Do you think lack of flexibility fosters lack of loyalty for women in the corporate world?
by Solange Lopes | Feb 23, 2014 | Career |
madamenoire.com
It’s Sunday night, only a few hours away from the dreaded Monday morning…You’re catching up on your Real Housewives of Atlanta or Blood, Sweat and Heels, while tentatively folding one or two shirts before giving up…And you’re just wondering where the week-end went…
Yes, you did the grocery shopping, ran a few errands, even hung out with some friends on Saturday night, but the bottom line is, it’s Sunday night and you’re feeling you got just about zero, ziltsch rest in the last 48 hours…
As corporate sisters, we fight a silent epidemic know as “business”. It’s this badge of honor that many of us are all too proud to carry at work, and at times for legitimate reasons. The problem is that we also drag it into however little amount of free time we have, hence this constant feeling of never being fully rested and replenished to start a new week.
“Well, I’ve got things to do”, “If I don’t do it, who will?”, “It’s gotta get done”, are all arguments we have to justify piling up more stuff onto our to-do list. Black and many a minority women are notorious for trying to get it all done by themselves. Many of us just think rest and relaxation is overrated, and if our busy bodies are not at work somewhere, something is tragically wrong with the world. Right? Right…
After years of constant business, and week-ends spent turning free time into busy time, I’ve decided this year will be the year of the sacro-saint…rest, and I know my dear mama will never understand some of these revolutionary principles:
Free up your week-end!I belong to the school of thought that the most unpleasant and demanding tasks should be tackled…first, and if at all possible, in healthy increments! Stuff like…cleaning the house, or folding leftover laundry. While most would tend to reserve these for the week-end, I’d much rather suffer during the week and enjoy my free days. So Mondays and Tuesdays are for laundry folding, an hour at a time while watching mindless TV; and Wednesdays and Thursdays are for house cleaning, in reasonable increments a time;
Get some personal sweat equity!Nothing like a healthy dose of exercise to pump up your day. So take full advantage of your week-end by starting the day strong with an hour of kickboxing, running or just doing jumping jacks if you prefer (whatever works)…It’s an investment in your health as much as it is refueling your energy tank…Just can’t lose…
Do at least one thing you love!We all have something we love doing, even if after a couple of kids, a dog, and that month-end project at work, we can hardly remember what that is…Well, time to do some memory digging…Love to scrapbook? Start with a half-hour and indulge in your passion. And no, it’s not a waste of time, it’s an investment in YOU (remember who that is?)…
Have you enjoyed your week-end lately?
by Solange Lopes | Feb 23, 2014 | Career |
black+woman+reading
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Happy Sunday! Hope everyone is having a great, hopeful restful and restorative week-end! On this side of the blogosphere, temperatures are warming up, even if temporarily…It’s Sunday morning, and for those of you who are rolling to the side of the bed, grabbing your phone, rubbing your sleepy eyes, and squinting to read us today, these are some of the headline news or simply fun, enlightening (or some combination of both) that made our week..Ready? Smile, and read…
- We have been waiting all week for the 45th NAACP awards, and Essence has all the juicy scoop in its Red Carpet Recap;
- For all the 30-somethings career-minded corporate sisters wondering if we’re late bloomers career-wise (I know I do), Black Enterprise is confirming that even career-wise, 30 is the new 20, and research says yes;
- In “keeping it real” news this week, I particularly enjoyed Medium’s post on life hacks for people pleasers who want to get sh…. done, it’s time to say NO more!
- Diversity Inc. is tipping us off on millennial tactics that can benefit any generation;
- As a Public Accounting veteran, I could not agree more with this Wall Street Journal article, basically asking the much dreaded question: When the boss works long hours, do I also have to?;
- In our “reality check” section this week, we loved loved this Huffington Post on how money changes the way we behave, an absolute must-read with a serious dose of humility and self-questioning for all of us ambitious corporate sisters;
- I do my best work in the wee hours of the morning, but for all the night owls and for my occasional pick-up on snowy, cold days, The Daily Muse has just what we need, the night owl’s guide to getting up earlier (and if that came with a strong cup of Starbucks espresso too, we’d love it even more);
- On a more fashionable note, given that I am a dress addict, I loved loved Refinery 29’s selection of 27 best work dresses for the office, you should check it out too;
- And last but not least, our own The Corporate Sister is still having its usual rants, one of which this week is around how diversity is a winning value for corporations ( we knew that, but wanted to say it over and over and over again!); and we’re also making a fighting analogy between kickboxing (yes, recently started, muscles still sore) and starting strong at your new job!
Well, happy Sunday, and happy reading!
by Solange Lopes | Feb 21, 2014 | Career |
pinterest.com
Happy Friday, and TGIF!
In our coffee chat today, we were wondering if people prefer casual Fridays as opposed to non-casual Fridays. From talking to a few corporate sisters around, it seems that opinions are actually divided on the topic.
While some seem to think that casual Fridays are a welcome break from the conservative tone of the beginning of the week, others (a majority of which turn out to be in managerial positions) actually fear that casual Fridays may contribute to lowering the productivity and “serious” tone in the office.
What do you think?
The Corporate Sister
