by Solange Lopes | Dec 10, 2013 | Career |
Photo: www.essence.com
Natural hair in the workplace has been the subject of much discussion in and outside of the blogosphere and media. Should we, as corporate sisters, allow ourselves to wear our hair natural in the workplace? Or should we take the “Hairy” hair issue out of the equation altogether and not draw additional attention to ourselves? After all, we are here to work, and not to make a statement of any sort, right? There are enough stereotypes playing against us, and enough prejudice affecting us as it is to try and add to the already unbalanced equation of race and power? Right? Well, I happen to think wrong…
When I went natural almost two years ago, my biggest fear, like so many among us, is that my decision was going to negatively impact my career. That I would be perceived as different, rebellious, and unprofessional. As I scoured magazines, blogs and websites on natural hair in the workplace, my fears and apprehensions kept growing. Yet I knew that this was bigger than myself, that it was a personal decision that I had to take for my own sake. For my own personal reasons that I won’t elaborate on in this post, I made the decision and never looked back. And as a corporate sister, I was ready to face the consequences, and most importantly, to defend myself against these, as a professional and as a human being.
Yet to my very surprise, things did not play out as I had imagined them. The movie in my mind did not reconcile with the reality, and I have to admit that I was the first one dumbfounded. Sporting my natural hair in the workplace actually gave me confidence, strength and power, much of it that I struggled to muster before. In my authentic self, I found compassion for myself and my struggles, and learnt to be more accepting of who I am; which in turn gave me the courage and boldness to aspire to bigger and better things, especially in the workplace. As one of the only corporate sisters out there, I did feel that my hair was making a statement, and that unlike preconceived notions, that it was a very much needed statement. The workplace, as every other place, is also a cultural space, where various personalities and cultures interact. Yes, it is mostly about work and performance, but the foundation of it all is people. And people come in all forms, shapes, colors and hair textures, and taking the hair out of the equation, with what Black hair has meant and means to us through time, history and culture, is also silencing an important part of the corporate culture.
As much as we are to respect every one’s choice when it comes to who they are and how they wish to present themselves, we also have to dispel the notion that the cost of expressing our authentic self is, or could be, exclusion from the professional sphere. Although this may certainly draw negative attention, and has actually unfortunately happened in many a workplace, there are also positive examples and happy endings to some of our hair stories. As I faced the obvious questions about my hair, through my own personal struggle to walk out the door every morning with hair that now had a mind of its own, as I learnt to stand tall in the “un-conforming” fullness of this wooly, curly, temperamental mane of mine, I also learnt to teach others about myself. And in the process, I learnt that regardless of hair texture or cultural origins, the human spirit is more responsive to authenticity than we dare to believe. That if you dare to present yourself as you are, while offering your best effort, and rising to the challenge as you are called, that you may actually succeed…That you will certainly face challenges and obstacles in your way, yet at the end of the day, you would have given yourself a unique, incomparable edge in the workplace, and everywhere else…
Do you think your natural hair can give you a professional edge?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 9, 2013 | Career |
Photo: dreamstime.com
Managing your email inbox can be one of those daunting tasks that you really would rather devote very little time, if any, to. After all, as a corporate sister, you already have too much to do as it is. In the midst of year-end deadlines, reporting objectives and management delays, cleaning out and organizing your inbox may not exactly sit on top of your priority list…just like laundry is not exactly your favorite, or most pressing household chore…that is, until you have to sport the mismatched sock trend to work (thank God for tall boots) or have to make an express stop at the mall to re-stock your underwear drawer…Yup, that bad…
I personally dread Laundry Day, as much if not more than Inbox Cleaning Day. Because I just know that I’ll have to face the karma gods of organization, and will most likely pay up for my extreme laissez-faire sins…Even worse than Cleaning Day, is Random Email Question from the Boss Day, when your manager kindly stops by your desk asking you to forward to him that email from random client X from say, maybe 3 months ago, and there you are, cussing out whoever invented the very concept of email…Really?
Because I’m guilty as charged, and although not yet converted to the Clean Inbox corporate religion, I’m still seeking help, here are my $0.02 of advice that I’m struggling to apply to my stack of email messages…as well as my piled-up laundry:
Treat your inbox like your laundry basket: if it’s in there, it is DIRTY and needs immediate washing! Leaving old messages in your inbox is one of the worst sins of email management. When it comes to emails, accumulation rimes with confusion, and who’d need any more of that? Whether you file it, or discard it is up to you, but it’s gotta go!
Pay attention to what you delete! Hitting the “Delete” button too soon is just like selecting the wrong cycle for the wrong type of fabric. You’re better off filing and saving more emails than necessary than getting rid of that precious piece of information. When in doubt, keep a regular check on your “Deleted Items” folder just in case you pressed the “Delete” trigger too fast…
Stop treating your inbox like a to-do list! Just like piling up already dirty laundry on top of other dirty laundry is not a reminder to buy new clothes, piling up emails as reminders of to-dos is not the most effective way of managing your emails. If you need a to-do list, get a to-do list. In the meantime, all that needs to appear in your inbox is new, fresh email ready to be addressed and filed…
Are you managing your inbox like your laundry basket?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 9, 2013 | Career |
This is an old post that I wrote a long time ago, but I find is still relevant, maybe now more than ever…
Ever wonder what the most agile of gymnasts and successful career women and men have in common? Well, more than you may ever think…
As I navigate through my own career, and discuss, or plainly hear or read about accounts from other men and women alike around their own careers, it has become evident that making it at work is no longer a matter of just doing your job, even if excelling at it and/or being the smartest, most diligent employee in the room. No wonder so many PhD’s are baristas at Starbucks, albeit incredibly talented baristas, while still holding their Law or Natural History degrees…For our generation of millenials, and even back a few generations, the name of the game is no longer “Fake it ‘til you make it”, but rather “Fake it, dodge it, climb over it, slide under it, somersault across it, do a handstand, back flip, center split around it, all at the same time”, and you still won’t be guaranteed to make it to the now-glorious podium of career success and longevity…Yup, you read right, maintaining a career, especially in the corporate jungle anywhere, has become a feat of Olympian proportions, and if you ever thought that quirky brain of yours or rock-solid work ethics passed down in your family from generation to generation of working folks will save you, well…think again…
Modern career-building is not an exercise for the faint of hearts, mind you…Most of the geniuses I’ve come across during my high school and college years have now either remained geniuses in genius-oriented careers, like computer programming, financial modeling, or you know Einstein-type gigs, disappeared from the professional horizons, or simply, like many among us, are still struggling to swim upstream in the terrible professional currents of our days…And those, the upstream, struggling, out-of-breath, out-of-time and out-of-success professional swimmers, are among the most numerous, the geniuses constituting, as always, the minorities of minorities…Now one other thing that is self-evident, is that those who’ve made it, are making it, or are showing some serious promise of making it, are not the A students, the studious college pals who forfeited nights of binge drinking and devious hanging out to study for their finals in 3 weeks…Nope…Those, at least many of those, are the average Joe’s, the normal “achievers”, you know, your B or C students who weren’t exactly the top of the lot, but who turned out pretty successful in the real world…
So what do these successful workplace heroes know more than the rest of us? And even more importantly, what separates REAL life from REAL school? What special wiring do some of us have that allow them to climb the career ladder, while others just can’t seem to get past the first few rungs? Well, as many of us are finding out, more than a jungle, the real world is a gym, one where agility and flexibility rule, while stiffness gets you, well…a stiff shove back down the line. Truth is, politics reign everywhere, most of all in the workplace; and while doing your job is important, understanding and managing workplace politics is crucial. As everywhere, there are important people, important values, and important “stuff” in general that you’re supposed to know at the very least, and put into practice at best…Now of course, not all of this “stuff” is good “stuff”, and by no means should we turn into hypocrites applying principles and doctrines that are straight up wrong, or that we do not believe in at all…Yet around some of that stuff that is not bad, not dishonest, and not totally out of our leagues, we should learn to become agile acrobats and skilled contortionists, folding and unfolding our cards as the game unfolds…
And what does that exactly mean, in basic, non-political, career lingo for Dummies? Well, for one, we need to open our eyes and look, not just at the furniture and the calendar for happy hours, but at strategic “stuff” like the chain of authority, who the high-ups are, what they know, how they behave and how you, yes you, are to use all the acrobatic skills you’ve ever learnt since kindergarten to get your work noticed, find the right mentor, learn the right lessons and be at the right place at the right time.
Now that’s not the stuff of textbooks or learning seminars…That’s the stuff of REAL life, where you’ve got to play the right cards at the right time…Or else, you can also opt out of the race altogether, and go get happy somewhere else, become your own boss, or maybe get adopted by the Donald…Otherwise, if you’re still suiting up to hit your corporate gig, well, you may want to start considering some serious gym education…
Just sayin’….
Are you flexible in your career success pursuit?
Love Always,
by Solange Lopes | Dec 8, 2013 | Career, Find Your Purpose |
In the wake of South African and world symbol of human spirit and leadership Nelson Mandela, we all owe it to him and to ourselves to take a good, hard look at ourselves, especially as people of color, and ask the hard questions. The essential questions, like “What are we doing to make a difference in our lives and most importantly, in that of others?”, “How are we shaping our paths to open doors for others”, and really, “What kind of leadership are we offering throughout our lives?”.
We discussed in one of our earlier posts the fact that leadership really starts at home, and goes on to permeate each and every one of our life’s areas. As corporate sisters, we are trailblazers, thinkers, innovators, and example-setters. We stand where very few of us have stood, we are introducing a new dimension of thought and culture in a business world where the interests of our communities are still under-represented. Through our contribution to the corporate structure of society, we are not just offering up the fruits of our hard work in exchange for a paycheck and some level of recognition, no, we also are building a path, and this regardless of whatever capacity we are acting up in. From CEO to director, manager, analyst, and coordinator, from the financial to the operational or human resources side of the business, we are agents of change. As such, we are able to communicate ideas, re-group people, show different aspects of work and lifestyle to otherwise unfamiliar spaces and people, take positive and powerful stances to influence the way we think, act and live. And really, isn’t that the definition of leadership?
As we take some time to reflect upon our own contributions, and how our lives and work impact those of others, let’s think in bigger terms and brighter images than what conventional society and media have us accustomed to. Let’s start thinking in terms of world-changing, breakthrough leadership. Let’s stop believing that world-changing destinies only belong to a select few, that in our limited capacities or mundane everyday occupations, that we are not as equipped to make a difference. Let’s embrace the leadership that is innate to who we are, in whatever capacity we are given to develop, nurture and act upon it.
Are you thinking beyond your circumstances? Are you embracing your innate leadership?
Go one step further and discover what type of leader you are by taking this quiz, courtesy of BlackEnterprise.com:http://www.blackenterprise.com/career/boss-quiz-what-type-of-leader-are-you/
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 7, 2013 | Career
Many among us corporate sisters are born-leaders, and even for those of us who don’t believe in our leadership abilities, we know that cultivating our leadership skills is key to our growth and success in and outside of the corporate life.
Yet when we talk about leadership, very often we think of big worthy causes played out in the media, or of big personalities known the world over. As true as these are certainly representative of great leadership, they are unfortunately very often hard to relate to. The extraordinary leadership of contemporaries such as the Oprahs, the Maya Angelous, the Ursula Burns, the Melissa Harris-Perrys, or the Vanessa Bush of this world, and so many others, is greatly inspiring, but certainly tough acts to follow. Where do we even start?
As my dear grandmother always says: “We begin at the beginning!” And what better beginning than the familiarity of our homes. The place where day-to-day decisions are made, where projects are started and managed, where you juggle as many hats as there are priorities to attend to.
A big corporate sister of mine always argued that “a great career starts at home”. The foundation of all leadership is found in the way we handle the ordinary, mundane aspects of life. It is those same everyday skills that can turn us into great leaders or average followers. Xerox CEO Ursula Burns shared as part of the PBS Makers series that she grew up in a very modest family in the Bronx; yet as she shares the determination and courage of her mother, we can already sense this precious foundation of leadership from the start.
As corporate sisters, we must know that leadership is not the stuff of dreams; that we all have it in us, and that it simply “begins at the beginning”, at home…
Do you think leadership starts at home?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 6, 2013 | Career |
Photo: lanebryant.com
So to all my corporate sisters, as smart, witty and hard-working as we may be, sometimes it’s just not as easy to wrap our brains, or bodies for that matter, around the concept of dressing for our body type. If like myself, you happen to be on the curvier end of the spectrum, that you’re in a never-ending struggle to button your dress shirts, zip up your pants or belt up your dresses, you may fit in the corporate and curvy category…
And don’t get me wrong, I love love love my curves…I’ve just had to learn to dress them appropriately so as to make the most of them while still looking (and feeling) the part in any corporate setting.
Real talk, if you’re going to spend upwards of 8 hours at work, transitioning from meeting to conference call to inpromptu working lunches, you HAVE to be on point…And nothing like an ill-fitting outfit to add to your already jam-packed day…
So after years of squeezing my 34DD in too-tight shirts, tripping over too long pants, and volunteering to stand up for fear my skirt’s zipper wouldn’t make it through, here are some tricks to make it through looking fashionable and most importantly, comfortable in your own skin:
Photo: lanebryant.com
Stay Undercover! Curvy or not, undergarments are the foundation of your wardrobe. From form-fitting slips, to tummy control tights, every corporate sister needs her undercover arsenal in order to look professionally fabulous….
Use the Power of Illusion! I detest diets, and when you love fashion just as much as you love food (maybe a bit less), there are some tricks of the trade for curvier girls! From peplum tops to balancing one’s
Photo: lanebryant.com
silhouette with contrasting tops and bottoms, with jewelry or even your hairstyle…My personal favorites are wrap dresses! Nothing like a wrap dress to showcase your curves in an appropriate, yet alluring silhouette…
Photo: christianlouboutin.com
Shoe It Up! Never forget the power of a fabulous shoe! I have to admit that most times, I start outfitting myself from the bottom up. A classy, yet statement shoe will bring proportion to your body while showcasing how well put together you are…
Are you dressing for your body type?
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Dec 6, 2013 | Career |
Photo: anntaylor.com
Holiday parties at work are fast approaching! And with them, the question of what to wear…It has to be work-appropriate, but still festive enough. For my own holiday party
needs, I tend to favor elegant dresses accessorized just right, topped with a dressy yet understated blazer or just worn alone.
This holiday season, my pick is a ponte 3/4 sleeve flounce dress straight from Ann Taylor, with figure flattering details and a conservative, yet flirty, look. To top it off, it’s now marked down to 50% off from its original $139 price, quite a deal…
