by Solange Lopes | Nov 29, 2017 | Career
Workwear: Cocoon Coat – Photo credit: jcrew.com
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
Coat season is here, and I’m blushing over this J. Crew cocoon coat! Loving the Italian stadium-wool cloth fabric, perfect for the winter, which provides comfort minus the bulk. The cocoon silhouette is flattering and well-fitting too!
In a similar style, I also like this lodge coat, also by J.Crew.
What pieces of workwear would you like us to feature? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
This post contains affiliate links and The Corporate Sister may earn commissions for purchases through links in this post. Thank you!
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 29, 2017 | Find Your Purpose
As you’re reading this, you may also be scrolling through your Instagram feed, looking at all the successful and fulfilled entrepreneurs and career women and men jet-setting all over the world…You may be checking out Queen Bey’s pics on her yacht parked on the Amalfi coast in Italy, or drooling over that influencer’s unbelievable wardrobe…
What your Instagram feed won’t show you though, are the less-than-perfect pictures of those times when these same successful men and women were crying themselves to sleep because of failure. When they’d wake up tired and despairing over the very existences you’re dreaming about right now. What many will not tell you is that it the average success story takes 10 years, and that the path to greatness through purpose is littered with heartache and obstacles.
No, what your Instagram feed and social media in general will tell you is that it’s easy. That you can just up and leave your job, buy a network marketing package, and achieve your wildest dreams in a pinch.
Not too many successful entrepreneurs and career women and men will tell you about the actual process, what it takes to get there, the sacrifices, disappointments and failures along the way. Yet, even more than their successes and achievements, it’s the difficulties along the journey that make the successful who they are. It’s the many obstacles that teach them to win by losing first, and to build the character needed to keep growing their empires.
I too, was very tempted to believe in all the hype around the overnight success stories of this entrepreneur, or that mogul here and there. Don’t get me wrong, it gives us hope, lets us dream, right? However, the reality of success is only “real” when you experience it firsthand.
As I, and so many others, are taking leaps into pursuing our purpose and chasing our dreams, here are some of the lessons we’re sometimes painfully learning along the way:
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Failure is certain!
Whenever you embark on a purposeful journey, write down these words: “Failure is par for the course!”. If one thing is certain, it is that you will fall on your face at some point or another, in one aspect or another of your venture. It may be in a personal way, or in a business or professional way, but it will happen. So make peace with it! Actually, you should celebrate it, for it is the only way that you truly learn.
I used to think that failure was shameful and an indication of weak character. What I’ve learnt, and know for sure, is that failure is necessary and vital to the building of a strong character. The best lessons are acquired through failure. The strongest characters are formed in the midst of failure. It’s only when you fail, and get back up, that you internalize the lesson and dare to apply it. It’s only in the face of failure that you dare to go against the grain, leave behind what others will say or think of you, and move forward.
Failure is training ground, it’s a blessing in disguise. So don’t be discouraged when it doesn’t work, it means you’ve just learnt another way that is not effective on your way to uncovering what really works for you. Those who never fail, never learn, and you’re not one of them.
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Lots of work, little pay!
That paycheck that drops every two weeks in your bank account as a trade for your time and effort? It doesn’t drop when you pursue your purpose in business or in the career of your dreams. What drops is a lot of sweat equity that you pay forth in advance, in exchange for rewards that may take longer than expected to arrive.
Many an entrepreneur or successful woman or man, has been homeless, had their lights cut off or their belly going hungry. They may not share that part of their journey, but what is sure is that they have paid a lot up front for dreams and aspirations that have only manifested way down in the road.
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Very few will understand your journey
If you expect the world to share in your purposeful journey and get you, you’re in for a surprise! Very few will grasp your vision. Most will actually reject it, deny it, and try to shut you down in the process. It’s normal, the vision was given to you and no one else. It has to be birthed through you, by you, and no one else.
Don’t blame others, even your close friends and family, when they don’t support your vision. Many times, they simply don’t see it. Other times, they may refuse to give you the credit because as human beings, we get threatened by the ambitions and the desires we ourselves couldn’t bring to fruition.
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Growth requires mourning (and sacrifice is only valid when you have other options)
Pursuing your purpose as you’re building your empire, toiling at the career of your dreams, or just being more of who you were created to be, will require you to grow. You cannot have what you have not grown to be able to have. Neither can you maintain what you haven’t built the character to keep.
Your purpose through your business or career will ask of you to address those areas of your life and character that need to elevate. As you work on yourself, you will lose parts of yourself that are no longer serving you. You will also lose people whose part in your journey is over.
It will cause you to mourn and bury the dead things in your life and on your path that you no longer have room for. As your capacity to expand and create something larger than yourself increases, you will need to make room. And the process of making room will also cause you to mourn what you have to let go.
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Sometimes leaping is the only option
Many times, we want to pick the safest route. Keep a foot in at the job, and another building our legacy. Or staying in the defective relationship, as we pretend to work on ourselves. We build compromises that won’t let us express the breadth and width of our capacity.
As you follow Purpose, sometimes leaping into the unknown will be the only option. The true measure of sacrifice only comes alive when we have other options. When there are other alternatives in front of us, but we decide to follow the straight, narrow path instead. Sometimes, the only way to do it is to jump and work at opening the parachute on our way down.
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Success is sweet, sour and lonely
How do you define success? Is it the bright, glaring light of Oscar ceremonies and red carpets? Is it the personal fulfillment of running your own race? Or is it laying on the beach in Rio de Janeiro savoring the pleasures of jet-setting?
What many don’t share with the rest of us, is that success certainly has a good part. It also has the sour and lonely part of dealing with new demands, new commitments and new levels. It also invites new devils into our everyday lives, that we must learn to deal with while still continuing on our journey.
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The timing is never perfect
It’s never going to be the right time. To have a baby, build the business, start the career, or leave it all behind and start over. There is no right time, because the time is not supposed to be right. If it were, then there wouldn’t be a cost to being all we can be? Then, we would not fail and stumble and learn and become ourselves.
8. Faith Will Take You There
Last but not least, when all is said and done, faith, this undying belief in yourself and who you were created to be will take you there, against all odds. However, faith is strengthened under pressure. It’s only though the trials and difficulties along the way that you will grow this confidence and belief in yourself, and in your higher purpose.
Keep going, sis!
What other lessons can you share about the real cost of following your purpose?
To Your Success
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 29, 2017 | Career
Sexual harassment has always been rampant in the workplace. While the recent claims and allegations have brought it to light in the past months, this problem has existed for a very long time. Yet, it has been (and still is ) muddied by the many perceptions about what constitutes sexual harassment and what to do about it. This is all the more prevalent as most of the legislations in effect around sexual harassment are decided on by men, while most of the policies around sexual harassment are also written by men in the workplace.
So how does one go about recognizing sexual harassment and actually addressing it? As a general rule, ANYTHING of a sexual nature that makes you, as a woman, feel uncomfortable in the workplace, should make you start considering whether it’s sexual harassment or not.
Some examples may include:
- Inappropriate sexual gestures
- Inappropriate touching of a sexual nature
- Anecdotes of a sexual nature or lewd, suggestive jokes
- Suggestive emails, letters or notes
- Inappropriate sexual images in the workplace
- Staring in a sexually offensive or suggestive manner
- Sexual comments about one’s appearance, body parts or clothing items
- Sexually inappropriate videos or pornographic images or objects
- Sexual inquiries or questions (for instance, inquiring about someone’s sexual orientation or history)
- Offensive or sexual comments about one’s sexual orientation or gender
According to the Department of Labor, there are basically two types of sexual harassment:
- Quid Pro Quo Harassment: This is when an authority figure or someone in a position of authority decides of your employment outcomes based on the condition of sexual acts or favor from the victim;
- “Hostile Work Environment” sexual harassment: This is when the harassment creates an intimidating or hostile work environment from the damaging conduct of a sexual nature of co-workers, contractors, customers or supervisors.
These examples above are not all-encompassing. If you encounter any sexual action that contributes in creating a hostile work environment, you may be faced with sexual harassment.
What can you do about it?
If you decide to address it, here are a few steps you can undertake:
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Get familiar with your company’s anti-harassment policy
Your company should have a policy that informs you on how to file a sexual harassment claim. Look for this policy in your employee handbook or contract, or contact HR to locate it and have access to it. This document will also inform you as to who you should report your claim, what you will have to provide, and what to do if your claim is not addressed. As a side note, you don’t have to inform your manager of any complaint your share with HR. However, if you choose to do so, it may lessen some of the pressure you experience, unless the complaint is against them.
Keep a record of every sexual harassment incident you may have experienced. Document the dates, names and witnesses involved, as well as a detailed description of the events. Save any email or text communication that can constitute evidence.
Keep in mind that you should maintain any supporting documentation on personal devices other than your company computer or property. Forward any email or incriminating evidence to your personal email. Remember that if you’re fired, you won’t be able to retrieve any evidence from company property.
Know that your company’s HR department is not your only recourse. You may want to consult a sexual harassment attorney even before you reach out to your HR department.
You should know that your employer cannot legally retaliate against you under Title VII. You should also keep in mind that if you’re assisting a fellow co-worker in a sexual harassment claim and lawsuit, you’re also protected by the law.
While it’s understandable that you may want to leave a hostile work environment, you should keep in mind that once you quit, you’re no longer able to file a sexual harassment claim on their policy. If you’re interested in filing a lawsuit, you may want to consider filing first before quitting.
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File a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
In case you have a Title VII complaint, you can file a discrimination complaint with the EEOC. Note that you have 180 days from the date on which you have experienced the discrimination to file. You also do not have to use an attorney to file this complaint. Read more on instructions here.
The EEOC will then notify your employer and begin an investigation. At this point, the EEOC may attempt to settle, file a lawsuit in federal court, or dismiss the charge, depending on the results of the investigation.
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You can file a lawsuit in court
If your case is dismissed by the EEOC, you will be issued a notice to advise you of your right to sue in court, or a “right-to-sue” letter. You may also request this letter if you want to sue in court before the end of the EEOC investigation.
What other tips would you recommend?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 24, 2017 | Career
Weekly News Roundup
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving here in the US!
- It’s Black Friday! Corporette shares its amazing Black Friday Sale alert for workwear;
- Speaking of Black Friday, check out The Corporate Sister’s Black Friday Sale;
- Forbes Woman shares how Mogul makes it possible for HR departments to fight sexual harassment;
- Ellevate Network shares that New York City spends $1 billion with majority-owned women businesses (MWBE);
- Business Insider shares 11 psychological tricks to save and spend less on Black Friday;
- Forbes reminds us that the HPV vaccination immunity is still going strong 10 years later;
- Ellevate Network lists 7 steps to personal brand building for women;
- The Daily Muse shares 10 awesome companies hiring now;
- Recruiter shares 11 steps to become a Linked In power user;
- Inc shares 7 corporate gift ideas that will make you unforgettable;
- Year-end performance review is getting close! Here’s how to ask for a promotion (and actually get it);
- The Indeed blog shares the best retail companies to work for in 2017;
- Fashionista shares 150+ Cyber Monday sales to put on the radar;
- Got Thanksgiving leftovers? Serious Eats shares Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cheers,
The Coporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 23, 2017 | Career
“Networking is the #1 unwritten rule of success in business” – Sallie Krawcheck
In the words of Sallie Krawcheck, networking is crucial to any career or business. However, as working women, it can be challenging to leverage this powerful career and business tool. One of the reasons for this is that for the longest time, women were left out of powerful networking circles and groups, run by the “old boys’ club”. As a result, we’ve had less access to information and environments to help us further our careers and/or businesses.
As a working woman myself, and an introvert at that, I’ve struggled with successfully networking for years. The very thought of it would make me cringe, while I felt that I lacked the appropriate approach to leverage the power of networking. What I’ve learnt from my mistakes and from other successful women who have also shared their journey to successful networking can be summarized in the below 10 principles:
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Prepare, prepare, prepare!
Preparation is crucial to networking! Make sure to own your message by preparing your elevator pitch ahead of time. Additionally, prepare a laundry list of discussion topics you can have handy when you meet new people. Don’t forget to do your networking due diligence by checking the logistics, the list of attendees and bringing your business cards.
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Craft the perfect elevator pitch for you
Your elevator pitch is the best way to market yourself and tell others about you in networking settings. Make sure it defines your professional identity (not just your title), your expertise, as well as what makes you unique and valuable.
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Make networking a daily habit
Don’t restrict networking to specific events. Instead, turn networking into a daily practice! Whether it’s in the elevator, in the hallway, or even at your local supermarket, remember that networking is simply the practice of building relationships.
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Establish your power network
Working your network also means establishing your power network, or having access to the “Who’s Who” in your industry or business network. You don’t have to be at the top of the food line to establish relationships with these power players. You can get connected to them by seeking mentors, joining professional associations and groups, or even in your day-to-day interactions.
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Learn to successfully network as an introvert
Networking as an introvert can be challenging. I know, as an introvert, it’s been a process for me. However, by being clear about your why, preparing ahead of time, and starting with a buddy or in women’s networking groups, you can increase your chances of being a successful networker.
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Don’t neglect following up after each networking event
The most important part of networking is actually the follow-up. Make sure to collect business cards or information to get in touch with the people you meet. Even better, you should build a networking database, and periodically keep in touch with your network.
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Refresh your network periodically
Don’t let your network grow stale. Instead, keep it active and updated by keeping in touch, attending regular networking events, and using your connections’ networks, for instance.
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Adopt the new networking approach for professional women
As professional women, we network differently, because our lives, schedules and entire approach to networking is different than men’s. And that’s ok. Using every opportunity to network, starting in women’s groups, and not shying away from social settings, can help us leverage our networking efforts for success.
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Capitalize on the 360-degree approach to networking
Make networking fully effective all around by adopting a 360-degree approach. Capitalize on every opportunity to network, while being bold enough to initiate connections and leveraging your uniqueness.
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Avoid these mistakes when networking
As working women, we may tend to feel too comfortable in our own circles, many times foregoing the opportunity to expand our networks. Additionally, our tendency to not want to brag, and to hesitate to ask for what we need, can keep us back when it comes to networking.
For more tips on networking like a girl, get my “Networking Like a Girl: How to Successfully Navigate the World of Networking as a Career and Business Woman”
What other tips would you add to this list?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 23, 2017 | Career
Asking for a promotion is a normal part of your career path. Unless you’re looking to progress in your career, you’re setting yourself back. However, asking for a promotion, whether at review time or at a time you deem most opportune, can be tricky.
I personally always dreaded the prospect of having to “do the ask”, as I used to call it. How do you introduce the topic? How do you ask without sounding overly greedy or ambitious? How do you hit the right note with your manager and actually score a win?
Here are a few tips to help you ask for a promotion (and actually get it):
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Craft your ask first!
Stepping into the negotiation room, any negotiation room, unprepared, is a surefire way to fail! Take the time to think about and craft your ask first. Why do you want this promotion? What have you done in the past year to actually deserve this promotion? Have you performed above and beyond what is expected of you? Have you demonstrated that you are actually ready to take on new responsibilities?
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Pick the right time
Picking the right time for a promotion request is as important as the ask itself. While there’s no perfect time to ask for a promotion, some times are better than others. Most people will ask for a promotion at the time of their annual performance review, as it is a normal time to discuss career advancement.
In addition, you also want to keep abreast of what’s going on within your company, team or department. When people are moving up the ranks or leaving the company, or in cases of mergers or company restructuring, there may be an opportunity to discuss opportunities to move up in your career.
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Negotiate well!
Part of asking for a promotion is also being ready to negotiate the salary you want. However, you shouldn’t discuss a salary number until you’ve been offered the promotion. When the topic arises, make sure to know your numbers and what salary is applicable to your new position.
Most women don’t negotiate their salary, at least not as much as men. Remember not to sell yourself short though. You can actually start at the top of the range applicable for you, as the negotiation process will even things out. Sources to help you with this include Payscale.com, and Glassdoor.com.
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Brag but don’t forget to give your boss some of the credit too
This is not the time to downplay your achievements. Don’t be afraid to list your accomplishments and even brag. However, be careful to strike a balanced note by attributing the credit to your manager for their leadership and guidance. A little flattery goes a long way, and is a smart way to channel your accomplishments.
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Make it about them
Don’t just make your request for a promotion about yourself and your needs. Yes, you need the money, the perks and the opportunities that come with the next level in your career. However, you want to make sure that you portray your promotion as something that will further the interests of your manager, team and department. How is your promotion is going to benefit your manager? What more will you bring to the team or department?
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Define your competitive advantage
Why should the promotion go to you and not somebody else? It’s important to define and outline your competitive advantage when requesting a promotion. What makes you so special and unique? In other words, what’s your superpower?
It doesn’t have to be anything earth-shattering. It just has to be something that distinguishes you from the pool of other candidates. It may be a certain expertise or certification you have, some particular connections you have within and outside of the company, or even a project or vision you want to carry to fruition.
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Reiterate your commitment
Don’t forget to reiterate your commitment to the team and company as a whole. Your promotion is not all about you, it’s also about giving something back to your team and department. Always make sure to outline how committed you are to the growth and performance of your team.
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Have a strong close
Your request for a promotion has to leave your manager with something to think about and carefully ponder. Make sure to have a strong close, and summarize the main points of your ask. Repeat the benefits you can bring to the team, thank your manager for all their support and finish by outlining what makes you unique and the most qualified candidate.
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Follow up
If you get offered the promotion, great! However, if you don’t, make sure to follow up afterwards. Before leaving the meeting, even if you feel like it hasn’t been successful, ask your manager when is a good time to revisit the topic. Inquire about how you can improve your performance or acquire needed skills to get promoted in the future.
What other tips would you add to this list?
To your success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 22, 2017 | Find Your Purpose |
What will people think? This question has single-handedly stopped many a destiny, aborted many a dream and reduced the lives of most to an existence well below their potential. For the longest time, it was also the crutch I kept leaning on to remain in my comfort zone. Caring about what people think, this disease that’s been passed on from generation to generation, especially among women, has destroyed careers, halted businesses and instilled doubts in the most promising futures. For the longest time, it was also the crutch I kept leaning on to remain in my comfort zone.
I grew up in Senegal, West Africa. Where I come from, you don’t just act how you want to act. You think about others, about the community first. It was that way back in the days because the community came first, before personal interests. As time went by though, this concern for the communal slowly turned into excessive care about appearances. And that’s the way it has become pretty much anywhere around the world, especially with the predominance of social media. It’s all about the way our lives, our work, our families, the arch of your brows or the shine of your highlighting powder, is going to appear to the world. What they’re going to think about you eating lobster on a Thursday night, or jet-setting in St Tropez on your last dime. How many likes or comments you’ll get, as a reflection of your own self-worth and validation.
At the age of social media, rented private jets and made up scenery for Instagram pics, not caring about what people think is close to achieving miracles. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve created countless memes and images around being free to do what we want and living life on our own terms. Yet, we seek approval on these same memes we post day in and day out. So what is one to do, to disentangle oneself from the prison of others’ opinions, without drifting into exile or shunning social media forever?
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Cultivate the fierce art of loving yourself
In a world where selfishness is being masked as loving ourselves, we’ve lost the art of real self-love. The ability to unconditionally hold ourselves in high esteem, without doubting our divine worth, assignment and purpose. Instead, we tend to allow the wind of circumstances and events to dictate who we are at any moment.
Stop second-guessing yourself, and start appreciating yourself, even as you make mistakes and are not as successful as you think you should be. Let your sense of worth dictate how you allow others to treat you, and the path you take in this life. And don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.
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Practice going against the grain
Care is a muscle. The more you exert pressure on it, the stronger it will be. Practice going against others’ opinions to strengthen your resolve to stop caring about what people think. This is not about disagreeing with everyone about everything, but rather having the courage of your own convictions in a world that constantly demands that you conform.
Be your own person. Stand alone if you have to. Let go of the need to say yes, the urge to please and agree with others so you can be accepted. The more you have to seek acceptance within yourself, the more likely you will stop caring what people think of you.
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Spend time alone
The noise of other people’s opinions very often clouds our judgment. Energy is contagious, so are behaviors and opinions. By removing yourself from the noise around, it’s easier to make space for your own opinions and convictions.
Don’t be afraid to spend time alone. If anything, welcome it as an opportunity to explore your innermost thoughts and desires. The more grounded you get in who you truly are, the less likely it will be for you to succumb to others’ opinions.
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Detach yourself from the need to be liked
I used to have what I’d call the “disease to please”, this urge to be appreciated by everyone around me. In turn, I would jump through hoops and desperately try to cater to the needs, desires and whims of people around. While it wouldn’t make me happy, I’d still do it for the fleeting comfort of being liked.
Not everyone has to like you. As a matter of fact, many, if not most people, you meet, may not like you at all. And that’s ok. You have neither the time, nor the energy to cater to a gazillion friendships and other relationships. Take it as a blessing, which frees you up to build strong relationships with those who are meant to be in your life.
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Open yourself up to criticism
Unless you’re ready to be talked about and criticized, you’re not ready to be successful. What stands in the way of many people who can’t seem to achieve the success they crave is their refusal to be criticized. Unless you do absolutely nothing, you will be talked about, most of the time in rather unflattering terms. Which also means that you’re doing something that’s making people talk.
Don’t fear criticism. As a matter of fact, you should welcome and celebrate it as a sign that you’re making a difference. Keep in mind that not all criticism is negative. Learn from some of the most constructive remarks you get along the way, and use them as tools to continuously improve.
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Learn to master your emotions
The more you tend to care about what other people think, the more you maybe tempted to react emotionally in response. Having control over your emotions allows you to step away from the pressure of others’ opinions, and be able to look at yourself in a more objective way.
Understand that while your emotions are valid, they’re also fleeting. Emotions may be great indicators of where we stand at the moment, but they shouldn’t be trusted to be acted upon. Practice distancing yourself from your emotions, and not reacting to them, while still allowing yourself to feel.
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Be compassionate
Last but not least, having compassion for others is a great way not to feel threatened by their opinions about you. Understanding that most people don’t even like or appreciate themselves, and as such are incapable of liking you, helps put some perspective in this. Everyone is faced with their own journey, and has to tackle many a challenge to get there.
Be compassionate with the people who may judge you. They’re probably also judging themselves. What people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
What other tips do you have to stop caring about what people think about you?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis
