If you are a working mom during this pandemic, you certainly have been brutalized by this pandemic. From the lack of childcare to the exodus of women from the workforce, not to mention the astounding and growing imbalance of weight of household chores, the impact of this national crisis for women are mind-blowing. However, due to systemic inequalities affecting Black women, the latter have suffered compounded consequences of this motherhood pandemic within the larger pandemic we’re faced with. Black working moms are struggling at historical rates, and we cannot remain silent…
According to the April 2020 McKinsey “COVID-19: Investing in Black Lives and Livelihoods” report, African-Americans constitute especially vulnerable populations in the face of the pandemic. Black women in particular have to deal with an exacerbated dual burden both on the home and labor front, compounded with quarantine restrictions, school closures, childcare scarcity and household-related stress. This also increases the risks of domestic violence, as it is reported four in ten black women tend to suffer from domestic violence at the hands of an intimate partner, as compared to three in ten white women. Black women are also more prone to suffering from health issues and be affected by high maternal mortality rates, which has only been exacerbated by the pandemic.
While women occupy most of the occupations that have suffered the most from the pandemic, Black women held a disproportionate portion of these jobs. As a result, they also have experienced the most acute unemployment jumps and related gaps. Employment for Black women fell 18.2% for Black women, as compared to 16.7% for white women. In addition, Black and Latina women are most likely to either be the sole breadwinner in their families, or have their partners work outside of the home during the pandemic. Women have lost 1.28 jobs for every job loss by a male, and the recovery is not looking promising either with Black women returning to work 1.5 times slower than their white counterparts. While 71% of white women are reporting having enough income, only 52% of Black women are saying the same.
So how can we help?
Here are 22 organizations helping Black moms and families that can help:
Black Career Women’s Network: This leading national career development platform is dedicated to enhancing the professional growth of Black women;
National Coalition of 100 Black Women: Formed in 1981, this organization advocates for Black women in the areas of education, health and economic empowerment.
Black Women’s Health Imperative: Standing for health equality for all Black women and girls, this is the only national non-profit of its nature.
National Congress of Black Women: This non-profit institution invests in the educational, political and cultural growth of Black women and youth;
National Black Women’s Justice Institute: This organization’s mission is to reduce, through research and capacity building, racial and gender disparities in the U.S. criminal system.
National Council of Negro Women: Started in 1935 by Mary McLeod Bethune, this organization reached nearly 4 million Black women and has more than 30 affiliated Black women’s organizations.
The Black Women’s Agenda: This DC-based non-profit started in 1977 is committed to sharing and educating on social, economic and civil liberties affecting Black women.
National Association of Colored Women’s Club: This association of women of color is dedicated to uplifting women and families through their focus on community service, scholarship, and education.
Black Girls Code: This non-profit organization’s vision is to increase the number of women of color in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM).
The Loveland Foundation: This foundation provides therapy and other mental health resources For Black girls and women, and is headed by founded Rachel Cargle.
Sister Love: Sister Love’s mission is to “eradicate the adverse impact of HIV, sexual and reproductive health rights, and justice challenges” facing women.
Black Mamas Matter: Black Mamas Matter is a movement to advance black maternal health.
The National Birth Equity Collective: Helping Black children reach their first birthday and reducing the alarming Black maternal mortality rates is the goal of this organization.
Black Women’s Roundtable: This organization works to purse public policies to benefit Black women in areas related to health and wellness, education, economic security and empowerment.
Black Women’s Blueprint: This social justice organization provides access to resources for Black women to advocate against intersectionality issues.
Sista Midwife: Sista Midwife provides a directory of Black midwives and doulas, as research shows Black women using a Black midwife are at lower risk of C-section or preterm birth.
Black Women’s Wellness: Centered on empowering Black women through healing, empowerment and advocacy, this organization is based in Los Angeles.
Girl Trek: Girl Trek is a national health movement for Black women to change their lives through walking .
The Black Feminist Project: This project uses food and reproductive justice programming to empower Black women and girls.
The Black Youth Project 100: The Black Youth Project fights for freedom and justice for all, more specifically for Black women, girls, and the LGBTQ+ community.
National Black Child Development Institute: This institute works with Black children from birth to age 8 to offer them a brighter future through health and wellness education, literacy programs, and college readiness.
Black working moms are in crisis, and we ought to help. If you would like to add any organization or statistics to this list, please email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com.
Dear Working Mom is our periodic letter to working moms everywhere, where we talk about the challenges, joys and everything in between for working moms…
Dear Working Mom,
Remember when Miranda admitted to Charlotte in the Sex and the City sequel movie that although she loves her son, motherhood isn’t enough for her, and that she misses her job? And Charlotte finally steps out of her “perfect wife and mother” golden picture frame, to reveal how much motherhood is wearing her thin. Every time I watch the movie, this particular scene has me bawling and let out a sigh of relief all at the same time. Hearing some of the dirtiest, most shameful secrets of real motherhood finally expressed in raw, inelegant words, felt like a weight lifted off the back of the myth of sacro-saint motherhood.
If you’ve ever felt the impossibly immense love of a mother for her children, and yet sensed the pull of your passion, your art, your work tugging at your heartstrings, you may understand what this is. This often forbidden truth that the beauty of motherhood is also laced with complex emotions, desires and instincts. That as working mothers, we can miss our kids when we’re at work, while simultaneously love our careers. That we can be filled with the most complete love and joy for our children and families, while still sensing the pull and void of something else. That motherhood is beautifully complicated, that it can be everything and not enough at the same time, engulfing us whole at times and pushing us to want more out of ourselves at once…
If you’ve found yourself in this complicated, grey area where guilt and love coexist, you’re not alone. If you’ve dropped your baby off at the baby sitter after maternity leave and cried in your car before heading off to work, yet found a sense of purpose as you started working again, you’re not alone. If you’ve struggled with defining your identity within and outside of the confines of motherhood, you’re not alone. Most likely, this dilemma of a dance between identities may just last a lifetime. And you may never get the soothing answer to your doubts, the solution to your struggle, or the remedy to your situation…
Yet what you may know, through it all, is that you tried your very best. That even though you missed out some milestones because you were at work, you still were there when it counted. Even though you let go of some promotions, left some jobs, and bowed out of some opportunities, it was all worth it. And although when you’re at work, you’re not home, and vice-versa, you strive to be the best you can where you are…
Because it’s true, sometimes motherhood is everything, and sometimes it’s not enough…And it’s ok…
Welcome to our periodic letter to working moms everywhere, saluting their courage, resilience and beauty…
Dear Working Mom,
2020 certainly tried it, what with remote learning, job losses mostly impacting women, women-owned small businesses in peril, and a global health and race crisis wreaking havoc on the planet…You’ve had to put your goals aside, focusing instead on keeping your family safe, homeschooling your kids, and creating a decent space for your loved ones to live, work and study in together….From one day to the other, you were stripped of the very security and foundation you had in a stable society, a secure career, good health, and thrown into the uncertainty of an unknown disease, a crumbling economy, racial unrest, and most of all, a heart-wrenchingly worrisome outlook for your children…
You’ve had to un-learn your old normal, and learn to navigate an unpredictable tomorrow. Zoom calls have become your new day-to-day, and exhaustion the price of making the “unworkable” work for everyone else, often forgetting yourself in the process. You’ve had to carry the weight of racial unrest and political tension, without the support of friends and family you’ve had to stay away from for the sake of mutual protection. You’ve watched some of your relationships crumble, revealing the harsh pull of distance and time, as you’ve coped with maintaining some sanity and peace in and around you…
Yet, you’ve made it! You’ve closed yet another year, albeit maybe one of the most challenging thus far. Despite still facing much uncertainty, you’ve managed to start anew, renewing your hope, starting from experience and hard lessons learned…
While this year may not bring back much of a sense of normalcy, as we knew it, it may spell a new beginning towards a stronger, more resilient, more flexible and adaptable you. Maybe the old normal was not working, as it was, what with our over-burdened schedules and chronic exhaustion. And maybe what we’re after is not really a new normal, with new incongruencies and excesses of its own.
Maybe what 2021 is offering us, is the opportunity, after surviving 2020, to thrive by re-inventing the processes, systems, and norms that held us captive before.
Re-invent the type of care we give ourselves and others.
Re-invent the way we work and define success.
Re-invent the thought patterns that made us who we are.
Re-invent the way we mother and nurture our families.
Re-invent the space we ought to take in the different spaces of our lives.
Re-invent the relationships that define us.
Re-invent the way we accomplish our purpose and reach our goals.
Re-invent the way we choose to live.
Dear Working Mom,
2020 tried it, and you survived it. Now it’s time to thrive…
The older I got, the more I realized how precious of a commodity time is, especially as a busy working mom. One of the things that often gets overlooked is our self-development, sacrificed at the altar of all the other obligations of my life. The more I also realized that if I wanted to continue to grow and develop myself into the best version of who I am called to be, I would need to invest in my own self-development in and outside of work.
As a busy working mom, it’s always been important for me to continue to invest in my personal development, so I could be happier, more purposeful, and more present as a mom, wife, friend, sister. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from fellow working moms is their fear of losing themselves completely once they partner up or have kids. Personal development can go a long way towards remaining true to yourself, and actually adding to what you bring to the table of your parenting, partnership and relationships in general.
Here are 10 ideas of on-the-go activities you can use to develop yourself in your spare time as a busy working mama:
Meditate, pray and journal
Meditation, prayer and/or journaling can go a long way towards personal development. Taking some time daily to explore your inner thoughts, feeling, mindset, goals and aspirations not only brings clarity, but also helps in feeling more centered and purposeful.
Update your financial goals
Got 10 minutes or more? Take a few moments to quickly check your budget, bank balance and financial goals. A little bit periodically adds up to a lot over time when it comes to your finances…
Work out for a half hour
Health is wealth, and working out for at least half an hour three times a week is a powerful way to develop ourselves not just physically, but also mentally.
Plan out your schedule
Planning out your schedule has been proven to help get clear on your purpose, prioritize tasks reducing procrastination and even help save money. It doesn’t have to take long either, and can be done in a matter of minutes.
Read a self-development, business or career book for 15 minutes a day
Despite all the technological advances made so far, nothing compares to stimulating your imagination and learning while reading a book. While reading a book cover to cover in one sitting may be virtually impossible as a working mom, reading a chapter a day, or just 15 minutes a day, can go a long way.
Take a course
Nowadays you can educate yourself on the go if you just have a reliable Wi-fi connection, a working laptop and/or phone. Platforms such as Coursera, Udemy, or Edx. Learning a language on the go is now much easier with tools like Rosetta Stone or Babbel.
Listen to a podcast
I discovered podcasts a few years back when trying to occupy my long commutes, and have not looked back ever since. Some of my favorites are Sarah Jakes Roberts’ Woman Evolve, Harvard Business Review’s Women at Work, and Brown Ambition.
Catch up with friends and family
Got a minute? Take some time to message or call a friend or family member. In an increasingly virtual and remote world, re-establishing regular human contact, even if for a few minutes on the go, can be a much needed booster.
Listen to an audiobook on the go
Another perk of long commutes or just having a few spare minutes is the ability to listen to audiobooks on platforms such as Audible for instance. When time is too limited to read an entire book, why not listen to it? While I admit I still prefer a good ol’ paper book, taking in an audiobook on the go also does the trick.
Netflix and chill
Last but not least, how about a regular session of Netflix and chill to catch up on your favorite movies or documentaries, while getting in some well-deserved relaxation and maybe an educational resource or two in the process.
What are your favorite ways of developing yourself on the go?
Dear Working Mom is our periodic love letter to working moms everywhere, where we encourage and support working moms through the issues and challenges they face.
Dear Working Mom,
You know the feeling…That tightness in your chest as the holidays approach and you mentally start adding up the litany of tasks to complete, gifts to purchase and various other obligations to attend to…The stress of getting everything done on time, from organizing the perfect Christmas to meeting all your work deadlines…You know it all too well, this nagging sensation of running a marathon without taking a break, and making it look easy and flawless in the process…They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but for you, it may also be the most stressful time of the year…
This year, the holiday season may look different, what with the pandemic and distress associated with it, increasing the already intense stress so many working moms feel around this time of year. Worrying about the safety of family and friends while still striving to preserve holiday traditions and somewhat of a sense of normalcy has now become the hallmark of what should be a joyous time of togetherness and celebration. This is in addition to the already heavy job loss, childcare and societal burden working moms like yourself have been saddled with as a result of the pandemic…
In spite of this onslaught of pressure, and maybe because of it, this holiday season may just be the reminder you need to put your sanity first. Maybe the stakes are so high in this season, from health to financial and human connection concerns, that they are forcing you to reconsider what you’ve been doing all along. Maybe this season is reminding you (along with all of us) that desperately attempting to control it all under the guise of apparent success is an exercise in futility after all. Instead, it may just be a loud call to preserve your sanity instead, cherish who and what truly matters, and re-invent an otherwise stress-filled time of unending errands and to-do’s into an intentional and purposeful family and personal time…
So, dear Working Mom, ‘tis the season to re-consider your holiday to-do list.
‘Tis the season to re-invent the holidays for yourself and your family.
‘Tis the season to preserve your sanity, your well-being, your joy and everything that makes you you…
Even if that means swapping perfect decorations for homemade paper ornaments crafted on the floor with the kids…
Even if that means disappointing a few people but finally approving of yourself…
Especially if that means being more present, more fulfilled, more you…
This question, coming from the mouth of young children, can be jarring for many, if not most parents, especially in a tense and heated election season like the one we’re currently in. How do you talk about politics with kids? Should you even talk about it, and invade their still innocent minds with details of political tactics and self-interest? As parents, shouldn’t we instead shield them from all the political talk? It seems most parents would agree with the latter… According to a 2016 survey by Care.com, 90% of parents revealed they don’t discuss politics with their kids because they are too young to understand.
The reality is, children have a sense of understanding as young as the age of 3 years old, as confirmed by Purdue University Professor Emeritus of Child Development Dr. Judith Myers-Wall. By the time they reach pre-schooling age, children sense the existence of a political world. At this point, because they are already aware of a fundamental need for justice, some conversations cam begin to take place. While each kid differs in what they know and learn, mostly from interactions with and exposure from adults, most kids can be involved in healthy political discussions that they can understand and wrap their minds around.
As a protective mama bear, my first inkling was to shield my kids from politics. However, as I watch them grow, and be more inquisitive and passionate about justice, it’s become evident how important it is to teach them to think for themselves about politics. Here are a few ground rules, backed by expert advice on how I’m starting and continuing to talk about politics with my kids, and how I encourage you to do so as well:
Start with questions
Kids may hear a lot about elections from other kids and adults around. They may also have unanswered questions and thoughts about the process and its implications. This is why it’s so important to lead with questions, if only to better understand what they know and what they are curious about.
Asking them questions about this may also give them permission to talk about a subject they may have considered taboo.
Focus on offices, NOT people
Politics are most effective when we focus on the office and the good work that can be done through it. Instead of dwelling on personal differences with people and actors on the political scene, switch the conversation to the importance of political offices and how these can help make a positive difference in people’s lives.
Additionally, instead of talking about “good or bad” people, choose to discuss instead good and not-so-good ideas. This reinforces the idea that disagreements and differences of opinions can be constructive, without alienating people in the process.
Don’t shove your views down their throats
As parents, while we may want to teach our kids our own sets of values, we must also allow them to be their own people. While most children tend to adopt their parents’ views, offering kids a stable environment that is not biased towards one view as opposed to another can go a long way.
Teach them not to believe all that they hear
As we all know, politics can be treacherous terrains to tread on, filled with fear-mongering, manipulation and deception. This is also the reason why so many parents steer clear of the “political talk” with their children.
However, not preparing kids to deal with the treacherous nature of politics is doing them a disservice. Instead, introduce them to its biased nature, point out important issues and teach them not to take everything they hear or see at face value.
Teach them respectful free speech
While it’s crucial to emphasize and support free speech, it’s even more important to teach kids to make use of it in a respectful and decent manner. This is especially relevant in light of the disrespectful tone that has been smearing the political scene recently.
Emphasizing the need to respect other people’s opinion is instrumental in this, and providing good examples of political figures using positive and encouraging speech.
Prepare them to deal with challenging situations
Tough conversations around politics are going to happen, and preparing children to face these is paramount. Empowering kids to handle differences of opinions in a loving and inquisitive manner can go a long way. Teaching them that they can also walk away from unsafe situations when it comes to political conversations is also paramount.
All in all, talking to kids about politics can be a scary prospect as a parent. However, it’s a process that is not only necessary, but empowering for children and families.
How are you talking to kids about politics in this season?
As working moms, there is so much depending on us at the family, personal and professional level. It can also mean carrying oodles of responsibilities that sometimes end up hurting us more than help us. For those of us who may have perfectionist tendencies, this can also translate into struggling to let go of control, especially as working moms. This is all the more acute lately as so many of us are facing unprecedented circumstances in light of the current COVID-19 pandemic and dire economic situation.
This is something that like many other working moms, I have had to struggle with in my own journey. It’s so tempting to want to have a solid handle on most, if not all aspects, of our lives and work. However, as I quickly realized and as you may have as well, there is only so much we can control, especially when other humans are involved. Parenting and marriage especially have taught me, very often the hard way, that holding on to control can actually be more destructive than helpful. As a matter of fact, the longer I’ve been a working mom, the more acutely I’ve realized that relinquishing control is a blessing. It’s also an art that requires a solid sense of self, as well as conscious practice and skills over time.
Through conversations and resource-sharing with other working moms, as well as trial and error in my own experience, here are three of the most effective strategies I’ve learnt to let go of control as a working mom:
Pinpoint the source of your need for control
One of my working mom friends once asked me: “Have you ever asked yourself why you feel the need to control certain aspects of your life and work?” This was a wake-up call for me. We often fail to identify the why behind the way we feel or act, looking for solutions outside of ourselves instead of starting by looking within.
Have you ever asked yourself why it is so important for you to be in control? It may be stemming from childhood, or maybe from past disappointment, or from a sense of fear or anxiety about the future. Working on identifying the source of our need for control can go a long way towards helping us heal, and relieve some of the heavy pressure so many of us are under.
Get help
Sometimes, dealing with the pressure of having to hold all the pieces of our lives and work together can simply be too much. This is where asking for, and getting the help we need, can prove invaluable. It may simply be asking for help with kids’ pickup, or delegating a task to someone else at work, or even hiring a housekeeper periodically.
What can help you relieve some of the pressure you’re under and let go of some of the control that may be crushing you?
Invest in self-care
Self-care is vital for working moms, especially in the days we live in and the constant stress we face. It’s not just about bubble baths and mani-pedis, but about healing and restoring ourselves as often as possible.
Some of this self-care may take the form of therapy for some, or time away for others. Whichever form of self-care you choose, it should help you replenish yourself and let go of some of the crushing pressure you may be facing as a working mom nowadays.
How have you managed to let go of the need for control as a working mom?
