I remember perusing article over article on negotiation tips while preparing for interviews as a young career woman. I had to do my research, come in with a certain number in mind, be assertive and not give in. Yet, somehow, more times than not, I ended up not even bringing up the topic of salary or compensation in general, blindly accepting whatever was given to me. The worst part was being disappointed at myself, gradually convincing myself (and others) that negotiating was not my strong suit.
Negotiation is a fundamental aspect of both personal and professional life that most of us cannot avoid. It also often carries underlying gender dynamics that not only influence the outcome, but also taint the entire process. This is also why recognizing these dynamics and understanding how to navigate them is essential for achieving successful negotiations.
Previous research shows undeniable gender differences in negotiation, as men have been proven to enter negotiations in larger numbers than their female counterparts. In addition, they’ve also been shown to get better deals when negotiating than women. It’s no surprise then that these disparities have given rise to significant gender gaps in wages and career advancement. However, more recent research concludes women do ask for raises and promotions in equal numbers than their male counterparts, but don’t get their requests satisfied. Even more recent research by Berkeley Haas professor Laura Kray, and co-authored by Vanderbilt University Associate Professor Jessica Kennedy along with Berkeley Haas post-doctoral scholar Margaret Lee in the Academy of Management Discoveries journal, confirms this fact. Contrary to popular belief fueling the gender-pay gap myth that women are at fault for not negotiating more, this last research actually demonstrates women negotiate their salaries more often than men, only to get turned down more.
While this body of research comforts us as to the fact that women should stop being blamed for not negotiating, it helps debunk an outdated, and hurtful, myth that has kept many women away from the negotiation table for way too long. It also reminds us to continue to strengthen our negotiating muscle as women, which heavily depends understanding the fundamental gender differences in negotiation. The better we understand, acknowledge and share these gender differences, the better we can fight related outdated beliefs and promote better negotiation outcomes.
Here are three of the main ways in which gender plays a role in negotiation, and how to effectively and purposely navigate these gender dynamics:
- Stereotypes and Expectations
Gender stereotypes can, and do affect, the way negotiators are perceived. As women may be seen as nurturing and empathetic, while men tend to be perceived as more assertive and competitive, society tends to expect men and women to behave differently at the negotiation table. As a result of these expectations, women may feel pressured to be accommodating, while men might feel compelled to be more competitive.
- Communication Styles
Research suggests men tend to adopt a more direct communication style in negotiations, while women may employ indirect or relational communication. Additionally, women are often perceived as better listeners, which can be an advantage in negotiation, allowing them to gather more information and build rapport.
- Confidence and Self-Advocacy
Gender differences in confidence levels, also known as the confidence gap, can impact negotiation outcomes. A Cornell University study found men tend to overestimate their performance and abilities, while women tend to underestimate theirs.
In terms of self-advocacy, previous research has demonstrated when women advocate for themselves, they tend to experience negative backlash, which may keep them from doing so.
However, a recent 2021 study shows as younger women professionals enter the workforce, they may experience less backlash. However, persisting biases still make self-advocacy challenging for women. As such, men may be more inclined to self-promote and advocate for their needs, whereas women might downplay their achievements or put others’ interests first.
Here are some practical tips to counteract these three ways in which gender affects negotiation:
1. Be self-aware!
The first step in navigating gender dynamics around negotiation is self-awareness. Recognize how gender stereotypes may influence your own behavior and expectations. Reflect on your communication style, confidence levels, and self-advocacy tendencies in negotiation.
2. Preparation is Key
Irrespective of gender, preparation is crucial for successful negotiations. Research the negotiation topic thoroughly, gather data, and develop a clear strategy. Being well-prepared can boost confidence and mitigate the impact of gender-related biases.
3. Challenge Stereotypes
Challenge stereotypes by consciously defying them when they arise. If you’re a woman, don’t hesitate to assert yourself when necessary, and if you’re a man, embrace a collaborative approach when it suits the negotiation.
4. Embrace a Collaborative Approach
Negotiations need not be purely competitive. Embrace a collaborative approach that focuses on finding mutually beneficial solutions. This can be particularly effective in navigating gender dynamics, as it aligns with relational communication styles often associated with women.
5. Build Rapport
Building rapport is essential in negotiation, and it aligns with many communication strengths often attributed to women, such as active listening and empathy. Establishing a connection can create a more favorable negotiation environment.
6. Use Effective Communication
Regardless of gender, effective communication is key. Be clear, concise, and assertive when necessary. Employ active listening skills to understand the other party’s perspective fully.
7. Negotiate on Merit
Focus on the merits of your argument rather than gender-related expectations. Showcase your skills, achievements, and the value you bring to the negotiation. Let the substance of your proposal speak for itself.
8. Seek Mentorship and Support
Seek mentorship or support from individuals who have experience navigating gender dynamics in negotiations. Their guidance can provide valuable insights and strategies for success.
9. Negotiate in Numbers
Whenever possible, negotiate in groups or teams. Multiple voices can help mitigate gender bias and provide collective strength in negotiations.
10. Be Persistent
Overcoming gender dynamics in negotiation may require persistence. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks, and continue refining your negotiation skills over time.
In conclusion, as confirmed by research and experience, gender dynamics undoubtedly influence negotiations. However, they need not determine the outcome. By recognizing these dynamics and employing strategies to navigate them effectively, women can negotiate with confidence and success. Embracing your strengths, challenging stereotypes, and focusing on the substance of your proposals can help you reshape the negotiation landscape to ensure that gender is not a limiting factor but a source of diversity and strength in the negotiating room.
