Women shouldn’t have it all – the root.com

The first thing most people who come to my house notice is the set of our black-and-white wedding pictures on the wall. Granted, they are gorgeous, (well, really, the bride in it with the skinny waist and impeccable make-up is) if I may say so myself. Yet, that’s not the only reason they stare. They stare because they are crooked. And then they start slowly noticing all the wall pictures are…crooked too! And they tell me to get it together and fix it so it can look like it’s supposed to be…perfect! One more thing I have to get together…like the fact that I can’t walk straight without bumping into people constantly…

Pepsico CEO Indra Nooyi recently admitted at the Aspen Ideas Festival the surprising revelation that women can’t have it all. Really? Remember the 2012 cover story from the Atlantic “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All”? There was an un-surprising revelation as well.

In her epic (and much controversial) address to Dartmouth students, Scandal’s mama and screenwriter extraordinaire Shonda Rhimes tells students (and indirectly, women) to “keep it real”. As few women will admit, and as Ms. Rhimes so honestly put it out there, there is a price to success, and dreams sure ain’t free. For every major career milestone, something on the personal front is missed. And every story time could be spent at the office putting a last touch on that report or sending another pesky email. It’s called the opportunity cost of life, and unless you can be in two places at the same time or have your own hologram, there’s no escaping it…

Can women have it all? Well, could I straighten my wedding pictures? Or practice walking straight? Maybe, although I don’t like dwelling on absolute theories. Yet even more than racking my brain asking myself the hard questions, I’d rather get busy figuring out what makes me happy. And running around like a mad woman trying to have it all, or adjusting my wedding pictures so they can perfectly align, or even missing out on bumping into some pretty awesome people just to straighten my crooked walk, will get me closer to perfection. Except perfection is not what makes me (or most people) happy…

Truth is, I like my pictures and my walk slightly crooked, or the fact that one side of my hair curls better than the other. I like that I don’t have it all, because it keeps my crooked feet solidly grounded. Because it gives me something to work on, something to improve on.

If I had it all, if my life were just perfect, my wedding pictures straight, and if by some miracle I stopped bumping into people and started walking straight, I’d be happy for a hot minute and…what the hell would I have to do with the rest of my life?

Just sayin’…

The Corporate Sis.