how to start loving your job – newyorkdiversitynews.com
Happy Hump Day!
I like to add up numbers on car plates while sitting in traffic, or reading words in reverse, or finding patterns in the pitch of people’s voices during casual conversations. Nothing that I’ve ever bragged about at work. Not that I don’t find my quirks quite endearing, but they are usually a part of myself I don’t walk into work with. Even as I’m writing this, a part of my brain keeps interrupting the other, screaming “Oversharing alert!”
Yet, everywhere we turn, all we seem to hear is constant talks about authenticity, being yourself, bringing in the unique YOU that will make you stand out from the crowd! YOU are special, one-of-a-kind, and just what this imperfect world needs…Right? Except while the world seems to crave authenticity, you need a paycheck which kinda requires you to bring your “authentic” best to work, you know, just that part that is politically correct and acceptable. As for the rest, please leave it at home…
A study by the INSEAD reveals “how much of yourself you put on display” depends on what and who is around you. So much for authenticity, right? And while women at work are all breaking their backs to lean in while jumping up to punch the ugly glass ceiling in the face, they are still being told how to act, what to wear, how (not) to style their hair, if they so much as want to stand a chance at work. Now that’s some real authenticity right there…
Now even with all the controversial spiel about being authentic at work, who really wants their boss to know about their obsession with YouTube college videos? Apparently, most people don’t. And for those who do, they’re probably sitting in their home office in their pajamas laughing their socks off while reading this post…
What do you think of this? Would you be yourself at work? Or do you think it’s virtually impossible?
We’ve all heard about the conventional time management advice out there. From breaking down your tasks into manageable bits, to creating new habits in 21 days, most of us have, at some point or another, thought about and even implemented ways to be more strategic with our time. Yet, as working women and moms, time management tends to take a life of its own complexity and nature. From attending to caregiving tasks, to last-minute parenting events, not to mention facing social and professional stigma and lack of gender equity, managing one’s time in a career context is a beast of its own. That’s where the IDEAS framework, anchored in the “Pay Yourself First” principle, comes in…
For working women and moms, managing time strategically and efficiently does not stop at allocating tasks to blocks of time, or creating a well-organized schedule and calendar. Time does not exactly flow on a continuum when one carries the mental load of managing a household, nurturing relationships, parenting or caregiving. Instead, time tends to be a fluid construct integrating the need for flexibility, adaptability and replenishment while allowing for self-compassion and grace, all the while getting things done as efficiently as possible. Talk about a conundrum….
After decades of applying traditional principles of time management, what I, and other women I’ve talked to have found, is that strategic time management for working women and moms is all but traditional or conventional for that matter. What it is, is an ever-changing, fluid construct that can adapt to each working woman and mom’s situation, context and environment. To help in the building of this construct, I’ve outlined what I call the IDEAS framework for strategic time management for working women and moms. This framework is based on the principle of “paying yourself first”, or investing in our most important, career and life-defining long-term goals first and foremost. For example, if your long-term, most important goals include writing a book, paying yourself first would mean investing your time strategically and consistently towards achieving this goal.
The IDEAS framework is as follows:
Identify your most important professional goals:
What are your most important, lifelong professional goals and aspirations? These may even be dreams you’ve had since you were a child, like starting your own business, ascending to the top of the corporate ladder, or research an important cause or topic to you?
Define the tasks to reach these goals
What tasks are needed to reach your goals. In order to write a book for instance, you may have to begin with defining a specific idea, mapping the content of the book, vetting your ideas with trusted advisors or friends.
Establish a time map of your process
Once you delineate the various tasks involved in accomplishing each goal, estimate how long each task is going to require. As a general rule of thumb, double up or multiply your time estimate by 2.5 to get as close as possible to the actual time it will take you, especially as a busy working woman and/or mom. Place these time estimates on your calendar to visualize how and where these would fit along with your everyday other tasks.
Act on it!
Placing your tasks on your calendar in the allotted time slots you’ve defined in the prior step will also allow you to treat these as full-blown appointments with yourself. Treat each task as an appointment for which you have to show up on time, and deliver the expected results. For instance, if you’ve allotted yourself one hour each day to write, make sure to actually show up and execute on a daily basis!
Support yourself and be accountable!
One thing that is often overlooked as related to strategic time management is the amount of support and accountability required. This is especially relevant for working women and moms who have a lot on their plates day in and day out. Finding like-minded women and moms on the same or a similar path can help provide the support needed, and keep you honest throughout this process, as you can also do for others as well!
Would you be interested in applying the IDEAS framework of strategic time management as a working woman and mom? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com for more information.
Dear Working Mom is our periodic love and encouragement letter to working moms everywhere…
Dear Working Mom,
Remember that time, a long while back, maybe so far back that you may not even remember, when you promised yourself never to lose yourself? Never to lose that spark, that creativity, that spunk, that pep in your step, no matter what?
It’s been a while and life certainly has happened since then, taking over like a rushing wind of commitments, duties, and obligations of all kinds. And maybe one morning you may have woken up to realize that you can’t remember the last time you rode a bike, or read a book from cover to cover, or dug out your favorite dance shoes out of your closet to practice some of your old steps… Maybe someone asked you what you like to do, and you couldn’t come up with anything outside of going to work, picking up the kids, cooking, cleaning or your favorite brand of laundry detergent…
There are so many ways that, as modern moms, we can lose ourselves in the beautifully messy whirlwind of motherhood,marriage, partnership and life in general. We blink and it’s been a month, a year, a decade of beautiful, busy, often challenging but oh so rewarding moments. But we also blink and it may have been a month, a year, a decade, of forgetting a little bit of who we are, a little bit at a time…And you’ll know it too… You’ll know it by the way you feel a little off-center, a little off-balance, a little not like yourself…It’ll show up in the restlessness in your body, the raciness in your thoughts, the unexplainable jitters followed by a frustrating lethargy, the unanticipated moodiness…
And when you start noticing your soul wandering in exhaustion, it may be the sign, dear Working Mom, to return to yourself. To get back to those things that truly bring you joy, to make time for those old passions, even if only for a fraction of your day…
Because you never have to lose yourself, not through your work, not through your marriage or partnership, not through your relationships, not through anyone or anything…You never have to lose yourself, because those who love you need all of you…
Because your children need the spark in your eyes, the joy in your laughter, the energy in your step, and all the parts of you that make you…
Because the world needs the entirety of who you are, and so do you…
The older I got, the more I realized how precious of a commodity time is, especially as a busy working mom. One of the things that often gets overlooked is our self-development, sacrificed at the altar of all the other obligations of my life. The more I also realized that if I wanted to continue to grow and develop myself into the best version of who I am called to be, I would need to invest in my own self-development in and outside of work.
As a busy working mom, it’s always been important for me to continue to invest in my personal development, so I could be happier, more purposeful, and more present as a mom, wife, friend, sister. One of the most frequent complaints I hear from fellow working moms is their fear of losing themselves completely once they partner up or have kids. Personal development can go a long way towards remaining true to yourself, and actually adding to what you bring to the table of your parenting, partnership and relationships in general.
Here are 10 ideas of on-the-go activities you can use to develop yourself in your spare time as a busy working mama:
Meditate, pray and journal
Meditation, prayer and/or journaling can go a long way towards personal development. Taking some time daily to explore your inner thoughts, feeling, mindset, goals and aspirations not only brings clarity, but also helps in feeling more centered and purposeful.
Update your financial goals
Got 10 minutes or more? Take a few moments to quickly check your budget, bank balance and financial goals. A little bit periodically adds up to a lot over time when it comes to your finances…
Work out for a half hour
Health is wealth, and working out for at least half an hour three times a week is a powerful way to develop ourselves not just physically, but also mentally.
Plan out your schedule
Planning out your schedule has been proven to help get clear on your purpose, prioritize tasks reducing procrastination and even help save money. It doesn’t have to take long either, and can be done in a matter of minutes.
Read a self-development, business or career book for 15 minutes a day
Despite all the technological advances made so far, nothing compares to stimulating your imagination and learning while reading a book. While reading a book cover to cover in one sitting may be virtually impossible as a working mom, reading a chapter a day, or just 15 minutes a day, can go a long way.
Take a course
Nowadays you can educate yourself on the go if you just have a reliable Wi-fi connection, a working laptop and/or phone. Platforms such as Coursera, Udemy, or Edx. Learning a language on the go is now much easier with tools like Rosetta Stone or Babbel.
Listen to a podcast
I discovered podcasts a few years back when trying to occupy my long commutes, and have not looked back ever since. Some of my favorites are Sarah Jakes Roberts’ Woman Evolve, Harvard Business Review’s Women at Work, and Brown Ambition.
Catch up with friends and family
Got a minute? Take some time to message or call a friend or family member. In an increasingly virtual and remote world, re-establishing regular human contact, even if for a few minutes on the go, can be a much needed booster.
Listen to an audiobook on the go
Another perk of long commutes or just having a few spare minutes is the ability to listen to audiobooks on platforms such as Audible for instance. When time is too limited to read an entire book, why not listen to it? While I admit I still prefer a good ol’ paper book, taking in an audiobook on the go also does the trick.
Netflix and chill
Last but not least, how about a regular session of Netflix and chill to catch up on your favorite movies or documentaries, while getting in some well-deserved relaxation and maybe an educational resource or two in the process.
What are your favorite ways of developing yourself on the go?
Dear Working Mom is our periodic love letter to working moms everywhere, tackling some of the issues we deal with as working mamas and spreading love to all working moms out there…
How many times have you looked at what other moms are doing, questioning the validity of your own parenting style? How many times have you scrolled down social media pages, wondering at the glossy pictures of impeccably organized and stylish moms, while you were still dressing straight from the laundry bag? And how many times have you fallen victim to mom-shaming, either from yourself or other mothers?
The truth is, as working moms, and as parents in general, we’re constantly doubting our mothering abilities. While society and organizations shame and punish us for being ambitious, we tend to also shame and punish ourselves for not doing it all, and doing it all perfectly. This is also what pushes us to question ourselves, our decisions as mothers and working parents, as well as each other…
In these times of pandemic and remote schooling, so many of us have questioned our instincts and decisions as to whether to send our kids back to in-person school or keep them at home. As working parents who may have to physically show up at work, the choice can be excruciating. It can also create much comparison between working moms in different situations, contexts, environments, as well as social and financial brackets. Yet another example of how so many working moms get stuck between a rock and a hard place…
As a working mom who’s had to go back to work a mere few weeks after the birth of both babies, and work outside of the home, comparison, hurtful, demeaning, and heartbreaking comparison are not foreign to me either. Like so many, it’s been, and still is at times, a struggle not to question my own parenting decisions and not to wonder how different things would have been if I had made different choices…Then I remember that as unique as my children and family are, so am I and so is my parenting style. That our kids learn and accept to be their unique selves and build their own unique life stories from our ability to learn and accept our own parenting stories…
While the self-doubt and guilt may always be there as a painful yet inherent part of our parenting, they don’t need to rob us of our joy, energy and purpose as working moms. Neither does comparing ourselves to other mothers and their own unique parenting style…There are a million ways to mother, and each one of these that is rooted in a healthy love, is as valid as the next…
