As our careers and lives get busier by the minute, self-care is becoming a priority for most of us. Constant work demands, fast-paced environments, and distracting social media leave us perpetually frazzled and stressed.
Yet, one of the biggest obstacles to practicing self-care is finding the time to actually do it. Since most of us spend the majority of our time at work, here are 7 steps to practice self-care right in our work environment:
Give yourself a break
We tend to be our harshest critics, which takes a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. Instead of constantly criticizing yourself, start seeing the positives. Would you be as hard with your fellow co-workers as you are with yourself? Refrain from judging yourself or your work harshly. It will boost your confidence and lessen the weight of self-doubt on you.
Change your workspace
It’s no surprise that your work environment has a huge impact on your productivity. Instead of being surrounded by clutter, consider cleaning your desk periodically. It will help you gain more clarity while eliminating unwelcome distractions.
Get inspired by putting up pictures, images and artwork representing people and things that matter to you. Overall, if your workspace is not a reflection of yourself, it may be time for an update.
Surround yourself with the right people
A crucial component of self-care is being around the right people. You must surround yourself with healthy, supportive and positive relationships that push you to reach higher.
Is your team supportive of your goals? Who around you at work drains you? Who, on the other hand, motivates and feeds you? Spend more time with those co-workers and colleagues who inspire and support you. The same goes for your relationships outside of work as well. Nurture these relationships by taking time to check on your loved ones.
Manage your emotions
One of the biggest mistakes so many of us make at work is to repress our emotions. Instead of avoiding the reality of your feelings, acknowledge and learn to manage them. Emotions are here to guide us to better understand ourselves. The more authentic you can be, the more fulfilled and successful you’re likely to be.
Honor your value
In any given workday, other people will make demands on us. Whether they require our time, energy or resources, frequent external requests will leave us distracted and frazzled. As a result, we end up not taking care of ourselves or tending to our priorities.
Take some time at the beginning of each day to set out and write down your goals for the day. Make a decision throughout the day as to which requests from others you can afford to attend to. If they go against your priorities and goals for the day, you may want to start saying no!
Recharge!
You simply cannot function on empty. Your cup has to be filled in order to contribute to your life, career and other responsibilities to the best of your potential.
Refill your tank by getting the adequate amount of sleep every night. Consider taking frequent breaks during the day. If possible, take lunch breaks away from your desk.
Learn to celebrate yourself
Many of us fail to celebrate our accomplishments and victories, in life and at work. We’re simply too busy to stop and ask ourselves: “What did I do well today, last week, last month, or even last quarter?” Consider asking your team and colleagues at work the same question.
Celebrate the positives, and learn from the areas in which you can improve.
Have you attended a meeting at work and felt like somehow, you didn’t quite belong? Or landed a promotion that you didn’t feel you deserve? I know I have, and you may have as well as a working woman who’s ever experienced the Impostor Syndrome at work. This is an issue that has always affected women, and also does racial minorities as well as minority groups.
It doesn’t matter how competent, qualified or driven you are. We’ve all felt this way, at one point or another in our careers. According to this Behavioral Science Research Institute’s study, around 70 percent of people have experienced the Impostor Syndrome at work.
Impostor syndrome, also known as “fraud syndrome”, occurs when we don’t feel like our successes are deserved. Instead, we tend to attribute our achievements to external circumstances, like timing, coincidence or sheer luck. Most people affected by it worry they’ll be exposed as a fraud, and are likely to experience strong anxiety, fear and distress as a result.
I started feeling the Imposter Syndrome as early as my college years. I never quite could shake the feeling that I didn’t deserve to be in those upper-level Accounting and Finance classes, or that I could actually graduate as an honor student. Even as I walked across the stage on Graduation Day after completing my Master’s degree, there was a sense that I had only been fortunate to have gotten that far. This sense of sheer luck rather than deserving accomplishment followed me in my career as I would unconsciously sabotage my progress at times for fear to be discovered as a fraud.
Ridding yourself of the Impostor Syndromeis hard! After all, it’s a mindset buried under years of faulty self-belief about who you are, what you’re able to accomplish, and what you really deserve in life. Yet, you can fight it and use it instead as fuel to succeed at work again, this time on your own terms and with a smile on your face. As women, we carry so many societal and social expectations that it can easy for us to succumb to the pressures of feeling like a fraud in and outside of work.
Here are five ways you can fight it at work, and even beyond your career:
Acknowledge the problem
You’ve heard it before. You can’t solve a problem unless you acknowledge it first. Many of us have a hard time taking an honest look at ourselves, and recognizing that we do suffer from Impostor Syndrome. Instead, we use excuses to make ourselves feel better.
Where are you undervaluing yourself? Which of your successes are you attributing to luck or favorable circumstances? Do you think you’ve only gotten the promotion because the boss likes you? Or that you’ve been invited to this high-visibility infrastructure project at random? Do you feel like you don’t deserve to manage that project because you’re not experienced enough?
Pinpoint those areas where doubt is creeping in and your confidence is crumbling. Be honest about them, and write them down on paper to really identify the problem at hand.
Get Your Success Box Out!
One of the most powerful lessons that one of my mentors taught me is to always remember to get your Success Box out! You may be wondering: “What is this Success Box?” It’s made out of all your past accomplishments, everything you have ever done successfully in your life.
There’s something about reminding yourself of how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve done, that restores your confidence back. Whether it’s the college degrees, the certifications, the positive feedback, the personal journey, whatever it is that shows that you’ve done it before, is proof that you can do it again! I suggest keeping an actual box where you write down on pieces of paper your recent successes and take it out every time you need that confidence boost!
Sharing is Caring!
Sharing your expertise and journey is also a great way to remind yourself of your competence and ability! Find someone who needs help in an area that you’re knowledgeable about, and engage them to see if you can help or mentor them. It may be a more junior employee, a family member or a friend in need.
I find that every time I can help someone else by sharing my expertise, I end up realizing how much I know and am capable of. I also learn through the process about myself, my strengths and other areas I can develop.
Consider also sharing your experience with the Impostor Syndrome with trusted friends, family members and colleagues. It’s also an empowering way to recognize the problem, and courageously face it by talking about it.
Ask yourself: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?
The biggest culprit with the Impostor Syndrome is the resulting fear. Try reversing this angst by asking yourself this question: “What would I do if I weren’t afraid?” I actually have a Post-It note on my desk with this question on it. Every time I feel the fear creeping up in me, I look at it and loudly ask myself the question, over and over again.
What would you do? Would you go for this exciting career opportunity abroad? Would you apply for the promotion or ask for that raise? Would you create that business? Ask yourself the question, and let the answers lead you towards the success you deserve!
Change your words!
A mentor of mine once told me: “Your words are your life!” In other terms, your language is a preview of who you are! It also tells others about how much you trust yourself. Phrases like “I think”, or “I feel” indicate a lack of assurance in your ow potential.
Instead, change your words to reflect a more confident personality. Use language that conveys the fact that you believe in yourself, your competence and your ideas.
Watch this YouTube video as a recap:
Now your turn: How do you fight Impostor Syndrome at work?
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Work It Daily shares how to dominate the job market after graduation;
Workology shares what we can learn from Starbucks closing its US pay gaps;
Glassdoor shares how to get a promotion when you’re an introvert;
Recruiter shares 20+ skills that will look great on your resume;
Summer is coming! Making Sense of Cents explains how to save thousands for your next vacation;
The Daily Muse tips us off on the stupid easy way to make your phone less distracting at work;
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
This fun yet professional shirtdress from Ann Taylor is perfect to transition from winter to spring. The romantic ruffle front adds a great touch of femininity to this number. The long sleeves are weather-appropriate, while the classic cut effortlessly takes you from desk to dinner. It’s available at Ann Taylor.
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Business Insider lists the 16 MBAs where graduates can earn the highest salaries;
Black Enterprise shares 6 ways to pay the bills when pursuing your passion;
Forbes shares the best tech tools to help you land a job;
The Daily Muse tips you off on how to empower your co-workers (and make the best team ever);
Our Workwear feature presents various pieces of work-appropriate attire at different price ranges and sizes.
This Rebecca Taylor slub suiting jacket from Nordstrom is the romantic yet professional addition to your work wardrobe you’ve been looking for. This supple, one-button blazer features a classic cut and elegant, fringy tiered ruffles. It’s available at Nordstrom in sizes 0 through 12.
Our Woman of Impact feature presents women who are breaking barriers in their careers, businesses and lives. These women are inspiring us to do our best work and live our best lives. Today’s feature focuses on HR Business Partner and Career Strategist Dorianne StFleur.
I’ve been inspired by Dorianne’s work and her contribution to women’s careers. Dorianne is a career coach & salary strategist for women in Corporate America. She helps women leverage their unique strengths to increase their income and climb the corporate ladder, without sacrificing their impact. Dorianne is a sought-after speaker, writer and HR expert and her work has been featured in many online publications, such as Black Enterprise, BuzzFeed, Forbes, Huffington Post and The Muse. To learn more about Dorianne, head over to yourcareergirl.com.
Hi Dorianne!Tell us a bit about yourself and what you do.
I’m an HR Business Partner, and I’ve been in HR since 2010, both in Finance and Technology. Currently, I’m in Advertising Technology. Basically, I do everything after someone is hired, from performance and talent management, to compensation, career development topics, or if you’re having an issue with your boss, or co-workers, etc. My role is to partner with the employee and manager as well.
I’m also a Career Strategist, and Executive Coach. I help women who are trying to tap into, and align their purpose with their career. I give them the tools and resources they need to have the career of their dreams. We spend so much time at work, and to the extent we can do something that is fulfilling during that time, that is my goal.
What inspired you to go into HR?
That is a funny story. I started my career in Operations, for about five years. I got to a point where I was doing well, yet wanted to do something different. I was a manager, I was sent to Salt Lake City, Utah with my team, and got to do so many amazing things. It was great, but it wasn’t something that was utilizing all my skills. I wanted to go to school for Psychology originally.
In talking to my manager, and being in tune with my strengths and purpose, I had taken some courses at New York University on “Intro to Management”. It just really piqued my interest. I knew nothing of HR before. After taking that course, I realized there’s a lot of strategy, relationships, coaching, etc involved in HR. Through internal mobility within the same company, I was able to transfer to a generalist position on the HR team. Once I got there, I realized this was what I wanted to be doing. I was doing a lot of things to help employees while developing and honing my own skills. Since then, I’ve been in HR. It’s a place I really enjoy and continue to grow in.
How about starting your own business? Did you always want to have your own business, or did your current career inspire you?
My career definitely inspired my business. I’d never thought of myself as being an entrepreneur. I was never one of those people who grew up knowing I was going to own my business. I was totally fine having a 9-to-5, as long as it was something I enjoyed doing.
Luckily for me, I’d mostly been in situations where I’d done well, been promoted and got all the recognition. Friends and family would ask me for advice. They would ask me to write their resumes, help them with mock interviews, etc. It just organically happened, and about a year and a half ago, I decided to make it official and turn it into a business where I’d be strategic about the people I’m helping and have a broader reach. That’s how Your Career Girl was born.
How do you find the time and energy to balance your career and business, as well as being a mom?
It’s very challenging. I have really long days. I wake up at 5 or 5:30am, my husband and I tag team to get my daughter ready in the morning. My husband’s schedule is flexible, so he can do pick-ups and drop-offs, as well as any emergency. I’m in the City at work, so we just make it work.
In the evenings, I spend time with my family, and then late nights, I’m working. I’ve gotten a lot better at prioritizing things. During the week, it’s basically work and business time, but on the weekends, it’s family time, and I’m always doing something with my family and spending one-on-one time with my daughter. I don’t have it down to a science, some things do fall through the cracks. Some weeks I do really well with self-care, other weeks I don’t. It’s a give and take, and I’m more about work-life integration anyways. It really just depends.
As a woman of color, what challenges would you say you face in your career and business?
In the technology space I’m in right now, the biggest obstacle I’m having is having that support network. Looking around to see people that look like you is challenging, especially in the tech industry. Being able to look at senior management and not seeing Black women or women of color who look like you can be really daunting.
Sometimes, it’s really discouraging, as you ask yourself if there’s really room for you to grow, and if you can go to the next level. This is why I share all these inspirational and motivational tools with my client base, because I know it can be difficult when you don’t see people who look like you, or when you don’t have that support system, or when there is not a group of women at your work that you can go have lunch with and bounce things off of.
In my business, I’m happy to say that there are so many other women of color who are entrepreneurs. There are so many women out there trying to empower others and use their gifts to build businesses. What I do find is that it’s definitely harder to get that traction. When I think of top career coaches and top career sites, they’re mostly run by white women. When I think about Black women who have just as great things to say if not better, they don’t have the visibility, the network, or funding.
Where do you see yourself in the next 5 to 10 years?
By then, hopefully I’ll have one or two more children (laughs). My goal is also to see Your Career Girl expand to such a level that it’s not feasible for me to have my 9-to-5. I greatly enjoy my job, but I also can see myself devoting my time to Your Career Girl, speaking on stage impacting thousands and thousands of women all over the world.
I have ideas for apps, and a lot of things that can bring about this idea of career development to optimal levels. I’m thinking of really scaling and growing my business in the next 5 to 10 years.
What resources or tools do you go to help you be your most productive?
For productivity and efficiency, I read a lot of articles. I also listen to a lot of podcasts, but they tend to pile up. I use Medium a lot, as well as Feedly. I’m on the Muse a lot as well, which provides lots of tips on career management.
I’m also a believer in “Less is More”. I try to pare things down and tend to edit my to-do list down, and find what I can focus on for better impact. I’m also flexible, and am fluid about the tools I use.
What is the biggest mistake you see women make in the workplace?
Women’s biggest mistake in the workplace, is not negotiating. Not just money, but not negotiating for work arrangements, for more vacation days, for transition when coming back from maternity leave. Of course, for salary as well. We tend to say ok to a lot, while men will ask why when they’re offered anything, and negotiate for themselves for just about everything.
Most of the time, women are not asking the right questions and negotiating for themselves. They end up leaving a lot of money and benefits on the table.
I remember after my maternity leave, I was determined to breast-feed for at least six months. I made sure I blocked off my schedule for that. I was not going to be one of these people who did not do that because of other pressures. It’s harder for us to set those boundaries, especially for women of color.
What advice would you give your 20 year-old self?
I’d definitely say to be confident. The worst they can say is no. There are so many things I could have done when I think about how many opportunities I missed out on, how many networking events I didn’t go to, how many things I didn’t raise my hand for. I was worried I didn’t look the part or didn’t’ have any experience, or other negative talk that would go on in my head. It still happens, but I’m now able to shoot down the negativity, and talk back to myself. I’d love to have told my 20-year old self: “You’ve got this! Go in there, own the room, fake it ‘til you make it!”
What would you recommend for something who would want to follow the same path as you?
You have to be really clear on your why. Why do you want to be in HR? Why do you want to start your business? I know my why, so I’m able to power through at work and in my business when it gets tough.
Whatever you want to do in your career, the first thing I recommend to my clients, is: “You need to know why this is something that’s important to you”. Not just a surface reason, but what’s really at the core. When you’re really clear about it, then you’ll know whether it’s something you really want to do, or if it’s something other people want for you. You’ll also be able to power through when times get tough.
What music do you have on repeat these days?
Right now, I’m listening to a lot of gospel. I also listen to a lot of Beyonce, R&B, and pop in general.
What services do you offer and where can we find you?
You can find me at yourcareergirl.com. I offer one-time strategy sessions, as well as ongoing private one-on-one coaching. I also offer online courses, and I also have a free Facebook accountability group, called the Career Success Circle, where we motivate each other and setting goals to take our careers to the next level.
Thank you Dorianne for all these precious gems! For more info on Dorianne, please head to yourcareergirl.com!
Welcome to our weekly career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at 
