by Solange Lopes | Oct 3, 2016 | Career, Start Your Business
You’ve heard the term “corporatepreneur” before…Basically, it’s just another term for “side hustler”, except said “side hustler” also happens to be doing the 9-to-5 thing in Big Corporate. Because, you know, bills gotta get paid, shoes bought, and some (shred of) sanity preserved…And that’s quite a few people out there, especially among 2o- and 30- something millennials who apparently are obsessed with the concept (what else are we not blaming millennials with these days, anyways?)
Yet in more practical terms, without all the glam and controversy (or controversial glamour or glamorized controversy, pick your poison) of the perfect millennial who teaches fitness classes after defending criminals in court, or writes online after analyzing spreadsheets all day, there’s the less glamorous day-to-day side of it…The side of long hours, commitment, discipline and sometimes wanting to pull your hair (or eyelashes or weave) out, drop the whole thing and go back to being a normal 9-to-5er hanging out with the girls after-hours…
When I tell some friends I write on the side, without really much of a guarantee to make more than the cost of a Starbucks pumpkin latte any day, I can almost see the question marks popping up inside their heads. Like, why? Why the headaches, the long hours, the occasional rejection, when you still have to finish the laundry, check the kids’ homework and most importantly, sleep!
There are many reasons why so-called “corporatepreneurs” decide to hustle on the side, ranging from personal passion to the need to make extra money, to the persistent Dream that can’t seem to let go of its grip…
While the “why” may have very different origins and implications, the “how” of it all is almost always rooted in an indelible desire to do what it takes to defend and bring forth THE vision.Which for many a “corporatepreneur”out there translates into mornings kinda like this:
The Night Before:
If you’re a “corporatepreneur”, you know your day really starts the day before, at least mentally. You’re planning what has to be done the next day, excusing your lack of sleep by the fact that your best ideas come at 3am.
4 AM- Who invented alarm clocks?
Your best ideas came at 3am, and guess what happens at 4am? The alarm clock that you set up to wake you up at the crack of dawn because you were so motivated and eager to make this a spectacularly successful day, has become Public Enemy Numero Uno. That’s when you discharge all that pent-up energy from not having enough time to exercise anyways onto this tiny, innocent thing called the snooze button.
4:30 AM- Why are my feet so heavy and besides, who invented daily personal hygiene?
Now there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button before either breaking it it put your hand on administrative leave. This is where you actually exit the comfy sheets and your entrepreneurial feet officially hit the floor.
5AM- Prayer and Meditation aka “Get Your Mind Straight”
You wouldn’t be starting your day right without getting your mind straight. It may mean a prayer or meditation practice or just sitting in silence somewhere for q while (which when you have two kids, including a toddler, might as well count as your spa moment of the day).
If you can add to it some inspirational reading if you have more time, then you’re golden!
5:30AM – Work, Work, Work, Work!
This is when things start getting serious, and you realize you only have about an hour and change before chaos, aka the kids, breakfast, starting the car, begins. Rihanna’s tune starts playing in your head, and you leave your Instagram feed and go to town!
6:45 AM – Crap! Gotta get the kids up
Last finishing touches on the blog post, or the sales page, or the product before reality sets in. Save the work, send a last email, and get going!
7:45 AM – Where are the keys?
That last email had to be re-sent, which kinda set everything back. And now, of course, no one can seem to find the keys…as we’re standing outside and the front door’s locked…from the inside!
8:30AM- Why am I here again?
Sitting in your car in the parking lot, contemplating turning around and going back to finish that sales page, that product, or that blog post. Then you remember the mortgage is coming due next week, and that you’re working to create something…And oh, where are your keys again?
How’s your typical morning as a “Corporatepreneur”?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 2, 2016 | Career
The last episode of the “House of Healing: The Myth of the Angry Black Woman” aired yesterday on OWN, and I have to say, I was glued to the screen. As in I was in internal talks with my bladder to hold off until the end of the episode…
In this four-part series, spiritual healer, minister and life coach, as well as a personal inspiration of mine, Iyanla Vanzant, tackles the very pervasive “angry black woman” stereotype. Eight African-American women from various professional and personal backgrounds were brought together in the “House of Healing”, where Iyanla helped them examine the pain and brokenness they all felt and acted out as “angry black women” as a result of abandonment and abusive pasts.
When I first came upon the initial episodes, I frankly thought this may be yet another one of the reality shows filling our screens these days. Yet, as I looked more closely, I was riveted to the screen, and most importantly to the stories of these women. As I listened to Lira recounting how she was abandoned by her father, or Chrystale dealing with being estranged from her mother, or Jaimeka coming to terms with her childhood trauma, I felt a disturbing, yet familiar sense of belonging.
Like so many Black women, I too was raised in a single-parent household where Mommy was both Mom and Dad. Where you had to be strong and tough, and being a daddy’s girl was for others, not for you. Where men were not to be trusted, and being realistic was more important than being happy. Which also means hiding the pain of abandonment and betrayal under a hard shell of self-sufficiency and bravery that can come off, and very often does, as “attitude”.
And can we talk about the fact that, according to a Black Women’s Blueprint study, 60% of Black girls have experienced sexual abuse from black men before the age of 18? Those are statistics that are often hidden by the code of silence in the Black community, yet merely start to reveal the trauma so many Black women silently conceal their entire lives. Those are the same women who are still grieving, and don’t know how, neither do have the adequate tools, to embody the love they’ve never received or experienced…The same women who may struggle to find life partners and husbands, and/or may be left raising kids on their own…The same women who may see a reflection of themselves in other women, and dislike them in the same way they dislike themselves…
Don’t get me wrong…This is not to excuse any questionable behavior in any way. Yet what Iyanla has achieved in this four-part event is show what’s really behind the curtains of so many Black women’s lives. To demonstrate that the “angry black woman” stereotype is not just a stereotype. That it’s actually a myth rooted in the fact that as a society, we haven’t yet fully grasped the depth and width of the experiences making up a vital layer of our society. That unless we can understand and hear the stories that are not always being told, we continue to deny them. And that once we can understand them, then we can all heal…
All of us, including the men in our lives, our partners, fathers, sons, brothers and cousins. I caught both the hubby and my father-in-law trying to conceal their emotions as they watched these women’s testimonies on-screen. And it made me smile inside…
Whether we want it or not, when one part of the fabric of society is affected, we’re all affected. Every time the “angry black woman” stereotype arises, whether at work, within our families, on TV, on social media or any other forum, we all suffer from it, starting with the so-called “angry black woman” herself. And instead of helping us all heal, it deepens the hurt and perpetuates the stigma.
As Iyanla puts it so well, “I’m not my sister’s keeper, I am my sister”. What we see in others exists in ourselves. When a fellow sister is hurt, her pain rolls over to us, leaving us hurt as well. When she heals, we all heal too.
And when we finally can see that there are no “angry black women”, but rather women who need to heal, women who need to be embraced, women silently screaming for help, then we can destroy the myth and welcome the peace.
So thank you, Ms. Vanzant, thank you for daring to lift the curtain on the sometimes ugly, yet always redemptive, truth behind the lives of so many women. As for you, “Angry Black Woman” myth, I’ve got two words for you: “Bye Felicia!”
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 30, 2016 | Career
Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Loving the rocker edge of this punched model, elegantly balanced by the delicate pale pink hue. And can we talk about the chunky silver zip that makes it look like you just landed from Style Planet (ok that sounded better in my head)? This “bomb” bomber jacket is $110 at Topshop.
Plus-sizes
I’ve spotted similar styles in plus-sizes at Forever 21, in 0X through 3X. I also like this satin number from ASOS, which runs in sizes 16 through 24.
Petites
This Missguided petite bomber jacket has more of a sporty edge, but can easily be dressed up as well. I can also dig this blush version from Dorothy Perkins.
Which one is your fave?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 30, 2016 | Career
This is our weekly career and lifestyle news update, where we round up exciting news of the last week and we let you have it…ahem, news-wise that is…
Think of it as your career gossiping section on steroids…
And while you’re at it, follow us on Facebook, Twitter,IG, and Pinterest!
Here we go…
- In awesome news this week, Forbes reports that Mindy Kaling’s cooking up a new workplace comedy starring Emma Thompson as a late night talk show host, and I’m jumping inside;
- Yesterday was National Coffee Day (although for some of us everyday’s National Coffee Day), and Black Enterprise calls to celebrate brands that support minority franchise owners with a cup of java;
- Is it better to be naughty or nice at work? Read Ellevate Network’s take on it;
- Are you in healthcare? Glassdoor lists 7 jobs for healthcare workers;
- Santander UK Chairman says companies can attract more women by changing the language in ads. Would you agree?
- Ellevate Network tips us off with 5 vital behaviors to learn when you become a leader;
- Love working from home? The Evil HR Lady lists 10 great telecommuting jobs;
- Shy people alert! Business Insider suggest 19 almost-perfect jobs for shy individuals;
- No plans for the week-end? Inc. suggests you could learn these 9 surprising ways to build emotional intelligence;
- In need of fashion and beauty tips? These celebrity stylists offer fashion and beauty tips for working women;
- Need to make over your wardrobe on a budget? WhoWhatWear has great tips.
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 28, 2016 | Career
Wear to Work: Le Suit One-Button Pantsuit – Photo credit: shopstyle.com
Our “Wear toWork” feature presents a piece of workwear, along with great alternatives, for stylish corporate sisters.
I haven’t featured a pantsuit in a while, and as Fall is officially back, it’s a great time to start suiting up. My pick this week is this fabulous LeSuit one-button pantsuit, that you can wear from the office to the after-hours in a cinch! Loving the flattering look of the shawl collar on this suit’s jacket, as well as the classic one-button front closure.
The straight-leg and mid-rise pants are slimming and comfortable, while the long-sleeves and flap pockets make for a chic overall look. This pantsuit is $200 at Macy’s, and is available in sizes 4 through 18.
Plus-Sizes
This suit is available in plus sizes, from 14W to 24W, also at Macy’s. I also like this three-piece texture-weave pantsuit, also from LeSuit, is a great alternative for larger sizes, and runs from sizes 14W to 24W.
Petites
In Petite sizes, I fell head over heels over this olive green Tahari one-button suit. I would also gladly sport this salt and pepper petite herringbone number, also from the Tahari collection at Macys.
Which suit is your favorite?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 28, 2016 | Career
“Ok, I know I’m lucky to have a job, but I want my dream job, my calling. How do I know I’m not just wasting my life away?”
This was a line I stole from one of my latest conversations with my younger cousin, the last time she was in town visiting. Jo is your typical millennial, highly educated, highly opinionated, and highly adamant about living life to its fullest.
How many times have you said this to yourself? Or heard a girlfriend lament over “slaving at this 9-to-5 that was never her calling anyways?” Or even rolled your eyes at yet another “corporate prisoner” about leaving their job and pursue their calling (right before the electric, gas and cable bills all come due at exactly the same time)?
This job vs. calling battle has been raging in most professionals’ minds forever. Now more than ever, especially among millennials, corporate sisters and brothers are stuck between the safe rock of their consuming 9-to-5 and the hard place of their dreams. More than ever, they ask themselves if they should keep the job, or go for the dream…Which one will prevail? Or should the question be, which one do you really want?
What you really want and need is also the foundation of your happiness in life. The problem comes with knowing what THAT really is. Is it the safety and security of a predictable paycheck, or the adventure and thrill of entrepreneurship? Is it a bit or both, or maybe winning the Powerball and moving to Bali (ok, I digress again…)? Whatever THAT is, knowing it, but really knowing it, in the sense of applying it to your life (the real one, not the one you’re imagining as you sing happy tunes under the shower), may just the be the ultimate test…
How do you even know what your calling is? Is it just a gut feeling inside? Something that pulls you to it and doesn’t let you go until you’ve actually fulfilled it?
In his column entitled A Wall Street Job Can’t Match A Calling, writer Michael Lewis draws the difference between job and a calling. According to him, a calling is “an activity you find so compelling that you wind up organizing your entire self around it — often to the detriment of your life outside of it.“He also writes that a job “will never satisfy you all by itself, but it will afford you security and the chance to pursue an exciting and fulfilling life outside of your work“.
So despite all the “job hating” and lamentations over earning a paycheck vs. pursuing your calling, why are so few of us really working in our calling (hence the lamentations and “job hating” in the first place)? What makes the calling appear so untouchable that we must fall back on the comfort of the job?
Well, bills have to be paid, shoes bought, and (some shred) of sanity saved…which requires a paycheck, which the calling doesn’t always provide. Just ask the many struggling entrepreneurs out there…
And it’s not like you can pull the “Burger King” card and “have it your way” either…You can’t exactly have both the job and the calling at the same time. While the job you may pick seemingly allows for more security and financial means to pursue what you love outside of work, it hardly ever is a calling. Because you don’t pick the calling, the calling picks you, wraps itself around you, and shows you parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed. Except the calling doesn’t work on regular hours and some sense of work/life balance. It takes over your life and requires undying commitment from you.
If you’re sighing deeply as you read this, here’s something that may bring you relief (or send you looking for more chocolate): your seemingly safe job is not really safe (ask anyone who’s been laid off before), and neither is your calling. The only safety you can muster in this life lies right next to your heart: it’s what you have inside of you, what makes you who you truly are.
So, if like so many professionals out there driving to work dreaming about sitting on Oprah’s couch and talking about achieving their dreams, you’re also stuck between the cubicle and the dream, here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- What do you think is your calling, and if it were to happen today, would it really make you happy?
- Are you committed to do the extra work and provide the extra commitment required to pursue your calling?
- Or would you rather have a great career which allows you to live an exciting life outside of work?
- Do you have, or will you find, the appropriate support system to pursue either?
And the most important question of all, that we often forget as we get shuffled left and right by the wind of our obligations and deferred dreams:
What makes you, or would make you, truly happiest?
Whatever it is, if it’s not part of your life now, you may want to consider ways to get it…
Do you have a job but would rather work on your calling?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Sep 25, 2016 | Career, Find Your Purpose
For a few weeks after I lost my sister, I lost my voice. Literally. I couldn’t speak, or write, or even think clearly for a while. Something inside of me went numb for some time, then rose in uncontrollable anger, then later subsided in the depths of my soul, (still) looking for peace and closure of some kind. If you’ve grieved for someone you’ve lost, physically or spiritually, you may be nodding as you’re reading…
In the wake of the recent shootings, I was reminded yet again what it feels like to deal with something you don’t understand, and grieve for a pain you can’t exactly put a qualifier on. And so are most of us witnessing, from close or far, the traumatic events of the past few months…
We may not personally know the victims or all of those involved. Yet our human voice intimately recognizes them, as it alternately goes numb, rises in anger, drops in sadness, and searches around for peace, understanding and closure…And very often, we’re not sure what to do with that voice. Not sure whether we should let it roam free, expressing itself as it feels when it feels it? Or whether to restrain it, using logic, reason and other grown-up mental boxes, only letting out what is politically correct enough? Or even if we should park it somewhere for a while, until we figure out what to do with all our feelings and emotions?
Every time humanity is violated, our human voices are awakened from their torpor, warning us of a need to restore peace and order in the fabric of life. We have an opportunity to use it to grieve, channel it to regain our power and inspire others. But we also can struggle with it, not quite sure how to push aside the walls of convenience and political correctness…
After my sister passed, I didn’t know what to do with my voice. I couldn’t be angry forever, or just choose to ignore the pain. Both alternatives certainly lessened the pain, but they also left me empty, unfulfilled and endlessly reaching for carbs. I could use it instead, but how? And what for? Would it even be worth it? It wouldn’t bring her back, or change the stark reality of things. What was the point?
I believe grief is not just a healing process, it’s also a transformative one. We often grieve without even realizing it, as we watch terrible news online, witness tragedy around us, or fill our time with busy work to avoid the hard stuff. What we don’t often do, is grab that grief by its ugly, slippery black collar, shake it, and let all the real good stuff come out of it through our voice.
Real good stuff that can help us not just regain our power, but multiply the positive effects of our voices as citizens, sisters, brothers, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, human beings:
Use Your Platform
We all have a platform. All.of.us. Whether it’s within our families, our circle of friends, at work, at church, on the subway…Wherever we may find ourselves at any moment can serve as a platform. One where we can live, embody and speak our truth, while still respecting the boundaries of others’ freedom and truth…
That’s what Issa Rae, the creator of the web series The Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl and upcoming HBO comedy Insecure, did when she set a scholarship fund for 37-year old black man fatally shot by police, Alton Sterling. It’s also what Beyonce did when challenging fans to lobby politicians to change the current gun laws.
You may not have Beyonce or Issa Rae’s platform of millions of fans and followers. Yet, wherever you may be, you have a platform in which you can use your voice for good. Whether it’s starting a fund, or spreading understanding instead of hatred, or writing a blog post, you can effect change wherever you are.
Strategically direct your voice
When we think of using our voices, we may think of protesting or organizing movements. Which is all good and well, when done respectfully and in peace. But real power, real influence, is effected when we can not just use our voices, but control HOW we use them.
Having kids has taught me that authority and power doesn’t come from forcefully using my voice and exerting my influence. Power comes from strategically directing your voice. By owning your message and choosing the most effective, peaceful, high-impact medium to channel it. Remember Diamond Reynolds, the girlfriend of Philando Castile? Her calm and politeness had more effect than any protest in exposing an excruciatingly difficult situation.
For some of us, it’s through our art. For others, it’s through our material resources. For all of us, it’s first and foremost in how we choose to live our lives and embody the freedom and love that binds us all, regardless of race, gender, nationality and creed.
Face the Conflict
Let’s be real…Many of us would rather avoid difficult conversations, especially when they revolve around race, religion or politics. We’d rather turn a blind eye and deaf ear, if only not to deal with our own grief. Yet what we may not realize is that it also robs us of our power. There’s something inside you that gets smaller every time you let go of an opportunity to use your voice for good.
In her piece entitled “The Conversation We Must Have With Our White Children”, Courtney Martin deals with difficult issues most wouldn’t dare addressing.
Facing the conflict isn’t about resorting to violence or letting anger take over. It’s about being willing to have the difficult, painful conversations so many of us avoid. It’s about taking the curtain down, and telling the truth about how we feel, without blame or condemnation. It’s saying “This hurts, and it has to change”.
How will you be using your voice to regain your power and effect change in the wake of the recent shootings?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
